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I held back the goodist

Shabda-girl

Shabda-girl

Peer Supporter
My birthday is Friday and we are moving out of state the following Tuesday. Celebration time is limited, so instead of bending over backwards to make sure the time and date I set will work for everyone (which I have always done in the past- in all situation), I told my family what we would be doing and when, and though I know that my sister has severe trouble getting anywhere on time (which I only now am admitting causes great rage- which I always ignore), I felt no guilt about sticking to what works for me (and not everyone else). After all, it is my birthday:) I am comfortable knowing that my sister will probably be very late, and that we will still begin our dinner on time anyway (something we never do- since we are always waiting around for her). I am also actually ok that she will probably be a little pissed that we won't be waiting an extra one to two hours for her. And to be ok with having someone be upset with me, is HUGE. I hope that can become the norm. for me. I actually feel strong and empowered for not putting my needs AFTER everyone else's for once. I kind of feel like those friends I have (whom I admire), who say what does or does not work for them and feel no need to explain. I'm sick of explaining (in order to makes sure no one has hurt feelings.) One small step for human kind, but one GIANT step for me!!! Just wanted to share how proud of myself I am for being able to do this.
 
Shabda,
Excellent job on owning the holiday. You did everything exactly right- it's inappropriate to let the person that is late control everyone else.
 
I don't always go into lengthy explanations but I do preface many sentences with the words 'sorry, but...' I am attempting to curb this practice of apologising for every thing I say or do.
 
I think she's on the road Luke - the big move was scheduled for yesterday :eek:

We sure hope everything is going as well as it can, Shabda!
 
How wonderful to have you guys thinking of me and checking in. The birthday gathering went well and everybody showed up on time. The drive out in the RV with all the animals and the kids and everyone, was kind of crazy but we made it and yesterday was our first true day here. Definitely had increased neck and back pain as we got closer to our home, but I knew what was going, do I just relaxed. I'm feeling pretty good today and I think I'm going to love living here in Austin. Luckily I was able to pick up enough reception to listen to some of Forest' podcasts on my iPhone while I was driving and that was great.
 
So you communicated what you needed and the person that often was severely late changed their ways- that sounds like a resounding success.
 
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