Day 4 I feel worse

Cara

Peer Supporter
The thing I can't get out of my mind is multiple doctors (including a chiropractor and surgeon) telling me that my pain is caused by "bone on bone" pain because the a disc had deteriorated to almost nothing. It's disheartening because (1) there's nothing that can be done to help, and (2) I was told that running is always going to be painful. It's frustrating in that this explanation doesn't really cover why I cannot bend, why my hips hurt so much, why the pain is worse in the morning, and why swimming should bother me.

I thought I was ready to take all of this on. I told my brain to stop restricting oxygen to my muscles and let me feel the bad feelings it's trying to protect me from, but today that list of depression symptoms scared me. I've had depression before. Is it normal to feel worse physically and emotionally when starting out with this program? Do I really need to stop and get counselling? This is not fun.
 
Give it some time. We have better and worse days. I know its hard because when having a bad couple of days it can seem infinite hell and that something gotta change because if things go this way its just plain unbearable.

Furthermore its hard to immediately push away doctors diagnosis. People are conditioned that doctors know everything, they are kinda gods and how you dare question what a man in white robe says etcetera.

I believe you are on the right path, try to stick to it, better days are on the way.
 
Don't forget that depression and anxiety (which I thought was holding me back but I'm getting a hold on it!) are substitute symptoms for TMS. Once you start addressing the physical symptoms, the tension and energy has to go somewhere. So it can manifest as depression. It's a sign that the TMS is struggling and trying new things to distract you. Take heart and use it as a piece of evidence that you're on the right track. Not every day will be easy, but keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there.
 
Does it hurt differently when you run vs. swimming?
Yes, I would say it is a bit different. I feel the impact of the running. Swimming just makes me feel stiff. Occasionally it has more of a twinge to it.
 
Hi, Cara. I went to a chiro once and he said running on hard surfaces is hard on the entire body. But a girlfriend who ran on grass stepped in a hole and broke her leg. So maybe running isn't the answer. If you feel pain swimming, I suggest just being in the water and moving your body around gently. I think you will get most of the same benefits of swimming, and gradually you will feel better when swimming.

Do you have a Jacuzzi or any kind of device to put in the bathtub that moves the water around? That can be as therapeutic as swimming. Also, soak your feet in a pan of warm water with Epson salts. It adds magnesium to the body and is very relaxing.
 
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