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I feel like knowing it's tms is worse than it being physical

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by thisworld, Sep 18, 2022.

  1. thisworld

    thisworld New Member

    I don't know exactly how to explain myself, I belive in TMS theories but I just fucking hate it! I feel like knowing that a symptom it's TMS (also considering the fact that you can't be sure 100% about it) it's just worse because I keep blaming myself for not being good enough at ignoring it or forgetting about it. At least if it was physical it wuold have not been my fault. In my mind there is a continuous fight in telling myself to ignore my symptoms etc and that if I don't do that they'll only get worse. I think having the certainly that it is physical wuold actually be a great psychological release, at least I cuold relax knowing I don't have to try ignoring it, don't feel scared about it etc etc
    map76 likes this.
  2. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    I was feeling exactly the same. I feel it many times. After a long time dealing with the symptoms- successfully or not- I feel sometimes tired or exhausted trying to understand and being responsible for the symptoms as well as for the healing. I think is part of our personalities, contributing to the tms story.
    But finally in any case we are responsible for our healing and our well being, whatever it happens to us.
    thisworld likes this.
  3. amanpervaiz

    amanpervaiz New Member

    I agree and I think what we need to learn are some life skills to deal with this. I am in the same stage as you.

    1.) Need to learn to reduce fear by using "exposure and response prevention". Or "Somatic checkins". Both are similar. You non-judgmentally go towards your pain and observe it. And do not do your typical repossess like "distraction/searching forums". I am trying to meet a therapist to help me initially with this.

    2.) Be mindful/focussed in whatever task you are doing. This will prevent you from paying attention to the constant negative mind chatter and let it be there.

    3.) Whenever you catch a negative thought, instead of engaging with it leading to more negative thoughts, just observe it and label to as "not helpful" or "anxious thought" and get along with whatever you are doing.

    4.) Need to start living yourself exactly before you knew about this diagnosis. Even if feels a little fake.

    5.) My personal take is to take some medication (for me maybe to sleep and anxiety), while these skills are being developed.

    I have just started this journey but I think we can do this. I have throughout my life beaten other somatic disorders like burning mouth, dizziness, deep breathing OCD, throat lump, pressure in pelvic region etc.

    If other folks can chime in, that will be great.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  4. thisworld

    thisworld New Member

    This was helpful, thanks for your support. Where can I learn more about exposure and response prevention?
  5. amanpervaiz

    amanpervaiz New Member

  6. amanpervaiz

    amanpervaiz New Member

    Once I meet my therapist on Tuesday who is a specialist on OCD, will let you know more.
    Edit: Just wanted to add that I do believe in working with a professional for this instead of doing it all alone. They are professionals for a reason and would guide better.
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2022
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  7. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    I know how you feel. I felt that way at first.
    There are some good lessons in this thread, but some major things are missing.
    Why do you feel you caused this? Do you tend to feel that way about many things in life? That they are your fault or you feel the need to control things?
    That type of thought pattern is why Dr. Sarno suggested we look inward. The Structured Educational Program free program on this website will take you through some exercises go begin realizing where these thoughts originated, and how they are part of unconscious patterns learned as a child to cope. Once you recognize these patterns, and past triggers, you’ll be able to see how the patterns persist as adults how they manifest as current triggers for negative self thoughts or behaviors. Behaviors: holding muscles tight; especially in response to those old thought patterns. You are not at fault - these are subconscious. You have no idea you do these things.. and you will begin to realize that those things helped you at one point, just not now. None of it is your fault! None.
    Learning a little more about the tms mechanism physically and psychologically will help you be more gentle in these thoughts. Learning self compassion is a huge part of healing for many tms-ers. You are not perfect and that’s absolutely ok.
    Xara likes this.
  8. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    THIS is your negative fearful brain on TMS! This right here is perfectly designed to keep you stuck in fear and self-blame so that you remain constantly vigilant for danger in the primitive world. Which doesn't work at all well in the modern world. Don't be fooled, and don't give in, because this is bullshit.

    I really do think of it more as a brain trick, one which you can fight against.
    Loved everything @amanpervaiz said, especially this. I say similar things to my symptoms, such as "Hey, poor frightened brain! This isn't necessary!"

    Indeed. Doing the free SEP is a good start. Therapy may be needed, especially if depression and/or OCD are factors.

    Amen, sister.
    thisworld likes this.
  9. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

  10. thisworld

    thisworld New Member

    Thank you Cactusflower, I think you are right. I have to dig deeper into my subconscious and past traumas. I think lot of the symptoms I'm experiencing come as a form of selfsabotage, my body give me these so I have excuses for not reaching my goals and feel miserable. In this situation I think it's important to keep going and push through (not remaining stuck in life) but at the same time it cuold be dangerous to not slow down and try to understand why my subconscious it's acting like that.

    On tight muscles I can tell you my body is crazy tight everywhere, I have been to physiotherapists who were genuinely shocked on how much knots and tension I am holding. I have to understand why my nervous system think is a good idea to store everything in the muscles, probably some coping mechanism learned in childhood like you said. I'll defo look into SEP thanks
  11. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I recommend some kind of hands-on bodywork in order to learn how to relax your muscles, and engage in breathing techniques so you can learn to "let go".

    This is a skill that we don't talk about much here, but it suddenly occurs to me that I learned how to do this decades before I discovered Dr Sarno, and it has always been essential in my toolkit of TMS recovery techniques.

    What you need is personal instruction from a massage therapist or yoga teacher, either of whom could teach you how to do this. Deep meditative breathing all by itself is incredibly soothing and can literally change your brain chemistry within seconds. Learning how to relax individual muscles is an invaluable TMS skill.

    Look, doing this work (TMS recovery) is not an either-or proposition, but your brain is trying to force you to choose fear and reject all other possibilities.

    How about allowing yourself some easy beginner steps? Try this one thing for yourself, and do it with an expectation that ANYONE can learn to breathe properly, and that it will bring you a little bit of relief. Just tell your fearful brain that this is healthy and will make you feel just a little bit better, so it's safe and you'll be okay.

    Because isn't a little bit better than nothing?

    One step at a time.
    Cactusflower likes this.
  12. amanpervaiz

    amanpervaiz New Member

    Xara, you should check out the youtube "Pain Free" by "Dan Buglio".

    I went through a lot of his videos and they resonated really really deeply with me. Especially how to slowly reduce fear of the symptoms and getting on with your life (which for me is the key). I know different approached work for different people, but worth checking it out?

    (9) Pain Free You - YouTube
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  13. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    Other things I found helpful:
    Choosing my team of folks to help - it could be folks here, a book, tms coach, psychotherapist, riki master, massage therapist, hypnotist or just yourself and the SEP. whatever you choose.
    Determining my support system by name: I have a list of folks who “get”me; people who believe in tme (or s mind-body connection) like my husband, a friend, or I can talk to about anxiety.
    Then I have a list of folks who ate encouraging but do not understand or believe in tms, but care about my wellness.
    This has been so helpful. On those days I keep focusing on symptoms, I’ll take out my list and think about those folks I’m grateful for. On better days, I connect with them. This has been so helpful, knowing that others believe and have faith that I can surpass my current struggles. It has brought me through hard days and helped me focus on thoughts of gratitude.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  14. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    I will certainly look at it. Thanks
  15. map76

    map76 Peer Supporter

    @thisworld I can relate. It’s tough to have 100% belief in something when it hasn’t relieved your symptoms. You accept the TMS diagnosis (as much as possible when none of your doctors even know what it is), but it just feels like more pressure now to cure yourself.

    I am in crisis right now and can barely get through an hour without completely breaking down. Any attempt I make at doing structured exercises or somatic scans seems pointless.

    I don’t mean to sound negative- or discredit the others offering advice here- but sometimes things just suck. Maybe I’m struggling with victim mentality right now, but it doesn’t seem fair to have to deal with this shit.

    @thisworld , I just wanted to acknowledge your frustration and say that you are not alone.
    thisworld likes this.

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