You need to address your anxiety which makes you act irrationally. BTW, there are many ways to address weight control. Moderate exercise and moderation in food intake may be much better than weight lifting. I don't lift weights, but I walk daily, hike on a regular basis and practice yoga at least 3-4 times per week, and have been very slowly but steadily losing weight. Weight lifting is good, but also in moderation, not as a focus of obsession.