I read Dr. Sarno's book originally 10 years ago; felt it described me but I really wasn't dealing with chronic pain at that time (I'd put my back out and spend a week at home nursing myself back to health - this happened a few times a year, but I was pretty good in-between each flare up). Then exactly a year ago, I was at home praying to God to help me - I was so tired of dealing with the back and neck pain. Restless, I went into our basement to see what book I could read to soothe my frustration. Lo and behold, I saw the Healing Back Pain book by Dr. Sarno collecting dust on the bookshelf; I re-read it cover to cover in one night. It's exactly what I needed, and the timing could not have been more perfect.
I think I'm pretty astute about things but I caused myself an extra 10 years of pain, doctors galore and semi-disability. I could not BELIEVE that my mind could make a choice to self-inflict pain without consulting with me - LOL! Seriously though, this to me was the biggest hang-up. The night I read Dr. Sarno's book for the second time I had a severe pain spasm in my back when I walked upstairs. As soon as I thought to myself, "Hey, this is what I was just reading about," - whoosh - the pain spasm amazingly disappeared. So, I could not deny the diagnosis. It shocked me and I realized that my mind could both create and delete the pain.
So, perhaps her timing is such that it's not severe enough for her to acknowledge the psychological cause. You said you felt desperate for a cure when you finally came across and accepted Dr. Sarno's TMS diagnosis. I was desperate the second time I read his book, and maybe that is a trigger for acceptance. Surrender is probably one of the hardest things for a TMS perfectionist who has ambition to allow.
So Eric, you have every right to be mad and I'm glad that you expressed yourself on this forum. I like Jan's suggestion of a list of web links including this site. I think I will do the same should I come across someone who I think will benefit from the TMS knowledge.
Maybe, just maybe she will someday see the book on her bookshelf, collecting dust. And she will re-read the book and accept the diagnosis for her own healing journey. Free will.
Many years ago I had a wonderful mentor at Harvard Graduate School of Education - A professor who was a practicing psychiatrist. He said that the grand majority of his patients did not act on his advice. Ultimately, he said, his patients would proceed with what they wanted; it was the rare person who would alter their decision-making based on his advisement. His name is Dr. Chester Meadowbrook Pierce. He was a specialist for selecting astronauts for NASA, giving medical support for geologists in Antarctica during expeditions and working with clients in extreme environments (like sub-mariners). Even with all of these credentials he could not influence most patients to consider a new perspective. He was so humble despite the expertise and experience. I think he learned over time to acknowledge and accept that ultimately all human beings express free will. So I guess what I'm saying to you Eric is that if a man with these credentials told a class of graduate students this observation of his own experience, then why would we have a different finding?
You did all that you could do for her. You have a right to be mad. However, let it go. Give handouts if you don't feel like losing another book unnecessarily. But, keep some hope that she may read the book again in the future and voila - it'll be the perfect moment for her.
