I am so angry!!

I got a call from an employer today because a patient I saw earlier in the week was upset because I had told her that she had TMS symptoms and gave her a copy of Dr. Sarnos to read. She was a classic case in every way including tender points where she had no symptoms. She F#@! pissed me off. How could she not see it when it was so clear. She is such an idiot and will probably now have unnecessary procedures and pain as a result. This stress made my back pain worse and that made me angry because all I was doing was trying to relieve her pain. I am also out a copy of Dr. Sarno's book which are not always so easy to find. I know intellectually that this is a hard concept to swallow and you often have to repeat the message 7 times to get a new idea to sink in. I guess I was over confident. She seemed so receptive at the time of the visit but maybe that was her people pleasing side. I accepted the concept so readily because I was desperate for a solution but not everyone is at that point. I tried to go over my feelings on the way home to help relieve the stress but it kept popping into my mind so I decided to write about it. Lesson learned: Baby steps

 

Hi Eric,

I'm really sorry about that. Even Dr. Sarno said that only 10% of patients will be willing to accept a TMS diagnosis. For a lot of people it's just too radical of a concept or they feel like they are somehow to blame for their illness (even though that is not what Sarno is saying).

I am a Reiki practitioner and I see a lot of clients who have tried everything for pain and then come to Reiki. I'm pretty clear with them that Reiki is for relaxation and wellness, and that they need to see a doctor medical conditions. Once I learned about TMS I got concerned about sending these people back to their PCPs who will probably put them through the usual PT, meds, etc. Luckily, my TMS doctor is in the same city as me so I refer these clients to him. Even so, I'm not sure how many people follow through on seeing him. Even clients that seem open to the idea of TMS (and I'm seeing people who are open to energy healing/meditation, so usually they are open to a mindbody approach) have to be ready. My TMS doctor was saying that he doesn't even bring up TMS with patients the first time he sees them unless they already know about it. Sometimes he just plants the idea of a mindbody connection with them in the first appointment and then when they come back talks more about TMS.

Maybe you could connect with some of the TMS doctors and ask them how they handle this?

This patient's anger is probably a good sign...some part of her is resisting the TMS diagnosis because it's true. Later on down the road she may be willing to consider it.

Keep on making your own healing #1 priority! Sounds like you are doing great and glad to hear that you were able to express anger here over this.

~ Veronica

 

Ericmd

I get symptoms when I get angry also.

How do you stop doing this?

By the way, don't despair, most people rather do surgery than admit their issues.

Barbara

 

Gosh, Eric, I would be devastated to have an employer call and complain. Of course, now I understand my thinking much better and why I would feel that way. The employer is disappointed in you and the patient is disappointed in you... yes, be angry, be furious. Consider Getting out the ole dish towel and wack it as hard as you can on nonbreakable stuff. Yell too. Get it out of your body.

You have a lot of the TMS traits activated in this one story. Perfectionism, caretaker role, not wanting to disappoint others, fear of rejection.... not just anger.

I am really glad you posted. Write about all that other stuff too.

I have talked to many people about Sarno and My Story. As said, so few are willing to consider the idea. But we are planting seeds.

 

I read Dr. Sarno's book originally 10 years ago; felt it described me but I really wasn't dealing with chronic pain at that time (I'd put my back out and spend a week at home nursing myself back to health - this happened a few times a year, but I was pretty good in-between each flare up). Then exactly a year ago, I was at home praying to God to help me - I was so tired of dealing with the back and neck pain. Restless, I went into our basement to see what book I could read to soothe my frustration. Lo and behold, I saw the Healing Back Pain book by Dr. Sarno collecting dust on the bookshelf; I re-read it cover to cover in one night. It's exactly what I needed, and the timing could not have been more perfect.

I think I'm pretty astute about things but I caused myself an extra 10 years of pain, doctors galore and semi-disability. I could not BELIEVE that my mind could make a choice to self-inflict pain without consulting with me - LOL! Seriously though, this to me was the biggest hang-up. The night I read Dr. Sarno's book for the second time I had a severe pain spasm in my back when I walked upstairs. As soon as I thought to myself, "Hey, this is what I was just reading about," - whoosh - the pain spasm amazingly disappeared. So, I could not deny the diagnosis. It shocked me and I realized that my mind could both create and delete the pain.

So, perhaps her timing is such that it's not severe enough for her to acknowledge the psychological cause. You said you felt desperate for a cure when you finally came across and accepted Dr. Sarno's TMS diagnosis. I was desperate the second time I read his book, and maybe that is a trigger for acceptance. Surrender is probably one of the hardest things for a TMS perfectionist who has ambition to allow.

So Eric, you have every right to be mad and I'm glad that you expressed yourself on this forum. I like Jan's suggestion of a list of web links including this site. I think I will do the same should I come across someone who I think will benefit from the TMS knowledge.

Maybe, just maybe she will someday see the book on her bookshelf, collecting dust. And she will re-read the book and accept the diagnosis for her own healing journey. Free will.

Many years ago I had a wonderful mentor at Harvard Graduate School of Education - A professor who was a practicing psychiatrist. He said that the grand majority of his patients did not act on his advice. Ultimately, he said, his patients would proceed with what they wanted; it was the rare person who would alter their decision-making based on his advisement. His name is Dr. Chester Meadowbrook Pierce. He was a specialist for selecting astronauts for NASA, giving medical support for geologists in Antarctica during expeditions and working with clients in extreme environments (like sub-mariners). Even with all of these credentials he could not influence most patients to consider a new perspective. He was so humble despite the expertise and experience. I think he learned over time to acknowledge and accept that ultimately all human beings express free will. So I guess what I'm saying to you Eric is that if a man with these credentials told a class of graduate students this observation of his own experience, then why would we have a different finding?

You did all that you could do for her. You have a right to be mad. However, let it go. Give handouts if you don't feel like losing another book unnecessarily. But, keep some hope that she may read the book again in the future and voila - it'll be the perfect moment for her.

 

I take every opportunity to feel anger because I am so good repressing it. I am trying to be more aware of it. I am trying to be a better person to myself and to recognize my anger and do something about it if it is something I have control over. When my boss says something I do not agree with I tell her why I do not agree instead of saying nothing. Much healthier approach.
It was that dam goodist trait trying to help people at my expense. The Divided Mind has some chapters written by some doctors at the back which I read. These were very helpful. The best I can to is to encourage people not to fear further injuring themselves and encourage them to be active.
Thanks

 

I agree with the part where Lianne said that you may have planted a seed that the patient will take advantage of some day. There was a doctor that I went to a long time ago and I showed him what I was doing for my plantar fascitis and he told me it wouldn't do me any good. While he was telling me this I thought he didn't understand my condition but it's always been something that I've weighed at the back of my mind as I try and understand my symptoms.
The other thing is that you did the right thing by giving your best diagnosis- I think it's important to remember that regardless of whether you get positive or negative feedback doing the right thing is important.

 

whenever someone would bring up fibromyalgia having psychological basis i would get so mad and upset, its been six disabling years now with it and only now am i ready to explore this route . I would love to tell all my fibro online friends about it and how im doing but they are very touchy about the subject, baby steps with all i guess, baby steps