Day 8 I am slow

[Freesoul]

Its been almost a month since I have started the program, But I am too slow due to my routine and lack of the 'me' time. I am not complaining... My daily routine is not stressful as it sounds , but taking out time to watch a video or read or write becomes difficult. So far I am on day 8 . I love to read articles and watch the videos, especially Alan Gordon's but time is a problem. So this is my status.
A)I have recovered almost 75% by reading the book and starting the TMS wiki structured program.
B)Now I know that what are my shortfalls. 1) I always underestimated myself, way too much. 2) I had very low self-esteem. 3) And I am a hardcore worrier( This post is also one of my worries I guess)
C) I am not scared of the pain, or so I think. Deep down I have no clue but on the surface, I am not.
D) however I do sense back pain now and then. And if it's not there, I am conscious that it's not there. My back pain also moves here and there.

So to sum up, I confess I am not sincere about the structured program, nor about journalling and I just hope it will not affect my progress.

 

[Aimee88]

It sounds like you are doing what is best for you, in the time that you have available. I am reminded that one of the traits we (TMSers) tend to have is this drive to be right, perfect and good, which translates to setting deadlines and outcome goals for ourselves. You have made good recovery, you are more self-aware, you are not scared of the pain, and you are aware of what's happening in your body. What could be wrong about all this?

 

[Freesoul]

Oh yes..absolutely..the whole point is not to be obsessed with deadlines and goals...and which other place would be better to start it..this!! Hahaha
Thanks a ton!

 

[miffybunny]

There should be no pressure to do a program or read a book on some kind of timeline. The truth is you can get better if you never journal or do a structured program and you just read 1 book at your leisure. The mindset of striving and achieving and doing more, right now is the exact mindset that causes TMS. What IS important is living your actual life and not spending much time thinking about TMS. Healing from TMS is quite counter intuitive and opposite of what we are used to. It's about letting go, accepting and living your life authentically on your terms.