Hi everyone, I'm new to setting up an account here, but have been looking around on the site for awhile. Thank you for having this support place! I feel I know I have tms caused female pain after a very stressful couple years. And looking back I guess I've had "symptoms" for many years. But it became very very debilitating in the last couple. I've read most all the tms books. Finishing up Steve's now. And more recently have really shut off all physical ideas and treatments. I have no money left -I can't afford any more physical treatments anyway. Plus they never helped. You name them, I probably tried them). Medically nothing has been found wrong other than tight pelvic floor muscles, but after some more recent PT, even those tight muscles are being told to me to not be found tight like they were. Yet the pain still is there. So why the pain - all I come up with is tms. I had been feeling some very strong emotions of fear, guilt, and anger over things going on in my life in the last couple years. I think ( know) the fear of the pain, and confusion of why it is there is just fueling this thing. It is what is feeding it. I believe in what I read to treat it by means of just trying to live life and do things you are scared to do. And try to put as little of thought into the pain as possible and accept and know it's psychological. I truly think my crotch pain is emotional. It's just not normal to hurt like I do in that area. Other people heal it! I never use to have pain like this! And no injury occurred prior to it! There's nothing physically wrong that doctors have found, I've had a hell of a difficult emotional year from crap going on, and the stressed tensed me up! That's what is. But I can't break this! The conditioned responses are what get me! I do have moments of very little pain, but I also have the many times I worry of pain increasing from from a physical activity. Sexual intimacy is one of those! I have a great husband but because I've seen Intimacy increase my pain in the past, I fear it. I don't have pain during but more so after. I believe it's sub conscience fear of it hurting me later on. I try to tell myself it's ok and safe to be intimate, but I can't break my pain. Excercise is another one. I can exercise, but I feel the pain come on worse later. I must fear it hurting me. So I don't even walk or run anymore. I have pain all the time. I have Better times of the day, but I still have pain daily, it's just exercise and intimacy I feel increase it. Yes I have a history of sexual abuse, but I don't think it bothers me anymore. I forgive him. It was over 20 years ago. And I do journal and meditate. I just feel like I'm on this verge. Like one "right" thought Change and miraculously the pain will leave. Please someone wave a magic wand over me! I've had 3 kids and no pain after that- this is so crazy to have pain like this after no other occurance but stress. So my question to you all is: How can keep doing things that I "think" make me worse after? Anyone else have this stupid Intimacy response? How did you break it? Even though my husband us completely patient and supportive, Feeling broken in that area makes me feel like such a failure towards my husband. Ugh, I just want to go through my days without thinking about my crotch anymore, to have sex, to run, to feel free like thankfully so many others have? Why am I stuck? Thank you.