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How to feel safe

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Lauren.R89, Aug 6, 2020.

  1. Lauren.R89

    Lauren.R89 Peer Supporter

    Question that I'm really struggling with. And this is probably a little negative.... I just need some help

    How do I feel safe in the body that is causing me pain? It feels like, at any moment, it could create a symptom. With other fears I feel like people can escape at least for a while then revisit them. I'm IN the thing that's scaring me. I can't like ... get a break from my own body. I'm with it.

    I don't know how to reframe this or work toward feeling safe in my body with the unpredictability of pain. And I think that is keeping my danger signals amplified.
    Idearealist and sarah2254 like this.
  2. Northwood

    Northwood Well known member

    Have you tried focusing on being in the present moment: breathing, calming yourself, recognizing that you can actually only BE in one moment, and that what you are afraid of is not the pain but your THOUGHT of pain. If you can deal with the thought--recognize that it's an unreal thing your head--and not hook into it, just let it drift on by, then you might feel a little less afraid. I mean, it sounds to me like you're not necessarily in pain when you become afraid, but that you're worrying about future pain. Is that right? If so, that's the brain stuff, the emotional pain (fear) which fuels tms. I notice that if I'm able to calm my own fears (the worries, that awful claustrophobia of being stuck in a hurting body) then the pain lessens. Fear & worry amp it all up. Another thing I'm finding helpful is to work consciously on creating a self-loving atmosphere around myself. Writing daily gratitudes. Affirming myself in writing. It helps me to see that I am a friend to myself. Sounds corny, maybe, but that helps to create a sense of safety. I'm "there" for myself, so to speak. Makes it harder for negative self-talk to cause its mischief.

    Have you checked out Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program? He's got some nice short passages on fear and how to soothe yourself. Best wishes to you!
  3. Lauren.R89

    Lauren.R89 Peer Supporter

    Thanks. These are all good insights. I think sometimes I am actually in pain when I become afraid. Ive been working with a TMS therapist and gone through the pain recovery program. I have some other mental health things going on that have made pain linger a bit. But ya, I do a lot of predicting and a lot of living in the past or future so this is really helpful

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