How to eliminate the fear factor?

[danijel1998]

Alright, so i have been working on dr. Sarno’s approach for about 5 weeks now even though i only started to really work on his approach today because i was constantly focusing and checking on my symptoms which i shouldn’t have done and which is the basically most important thing (to ignore the physical and concrete only on psychological).

Even with this approach i made a huge improvements particularly in IBS symptoms and GERD as well as a shoulder pain.

-I would say that my IBS is almost non existent (normal bowel movements and i am able to eat food that bothered me before but i still didn’t try everything so i don’t know if still have some but with the current state i am able to eat almost anything and only experience very mild pain for a few minutes). Overall i would say at like 80% improvement.

-Gerd is particularly gone even though i still experience some deep burping but other than that i don’t have other symptoms. I am also able to eat fatty meals and things that were not Gerd friendly but i still avoid unhealthy meals which had more than 20 fats per meal…
I would also say around 80% improvement.

- Shoulder pain almost gone completely ( if I experience it it would be for a short period a few minutes to an hour but very slight pain). I even started doing a 100 pushups a day 3 weeks ago and even though I experienced the pain in the beginning while doing them now i can say that i am most of the time pain free while doing them.

But… my biggest problem and fear is orbiting around my ears particularly tinnitus and sound sensitivity. Even though sounds sensitivity got way better i still have a huge fear from that and tinnitus. I wasn’t able to constantly stop checking on my symptoms and comparing the symptoms from day to day until two weeks ago when i stopped checking them for 4 days and started ignoring the symptoms and i found that by ignoring the symptoms they were at least 40% less noticeable in only 4 days. But i relapsed and got worse again and started ignoring them again. I again made it to day 5 and i felt like something told me to check if ny tinnitus is worse than before. I only checked for like a minute or two and when i heard the sound i literally felt the fear completely filling me from inside because of that sound and the day after i noticed that sound sensitivity is worse but i realized VERY IMPORTANT THING- FEAR.

i realized that the fear is actually what brings my symptoms back. In only 4 days of ignoring my symptoms i got significantly better but once i checked again i got filled with the fear which ramped up my ear symptoms.

I 100% believe that if i stick ti TMS treatment and completely ignore my ear symptoms that within a few months if not weeks that my symptoms would vanish but i don’t know how to overcome fear cause even if my symptoms vanish i know that the battle hasn’t been won until i eliminate the fear factor.

Can someone please tell me how to completely eliminate the fear?

 

[Cactusflower]

It takes time and dedication - a commitment to yourself to begin working with the fear and anxiety of TMS.
My suggestion is to embrace a program: there are two free programs on this website at tmswiki.org (scroll down page) .. choose one, and begin to do it slowly (little bit each day). Read a book by Dr. Sarno to discover how TMS works in the mind. It is so helpful to have this solid knowledge.
The reality is, nobody can really give you “the way” to deal with fear. You can do a program that offers you some methods to try, but the ability to deal with this challenge is up to your mindset, and to a small degree, self-education.
Don’t push away or stifle the fear. Feel it, in your physical body and let it pass. Fear is just a thought. Thoughts are not necessarily true. You have to find a way to flip your fear switch to believing this.
Have patience. It took you a lifetime of anxiety to have TMS symptoms, it takes some time to learn new behaviors and thought patterns.. and sometimes we also need to do the emotional work to deal with all the internal stress our mind is creating.

 

[Booble]

I find tinnitus to be an easy one despite that I have very loud tinnitus. It's not dangerous and can't kill you so that lowers it on my personal worry/fear list.
Nearly everyone has ringing in their ears. Everyone. They just don't...errr....hear it. Or rather pay attention to it. I have super duper loud tinnitus but I hadn't "heard" it until I read your post.
Sometimes it's bothersome when I'm trying to sleep because it's so quiet where I live.

I've had moments in time when I worried about it and then it's all you hear but I promise you this is one that some day you will forget about and even though it's there, you won't hear it. It's hard to explain.

What is it that you are afraid of about it?



Drats! Now I'm hearing mine loud and clear. And I haven't thought about it before now for months!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Wow, @danijel1998, look how far you've come! I mean, getting back to 100 pushups with no pain? That's awesome.

Yeah, it's possible that the tinnitus might be your particular go-to symptom for your TMS brain. Remember that TMS is a normal brain response, it's not a "condition" which is going to be cured. You have to do the work and develop your skills so that managing it becomes almost automatic and totally manageable. Which you have already done for your significant symptoms.

I have a couple of TMS symptoms that come back instantly just going about my everyday life, which I just see as a reminder that I've got a lifetime of anxiety and hypersensitivity to be mindful of. One is reflux, which happens because I go around physically and mentally clenched. And in certain situations where my brain feels unsafe, the symptom is dizziness/imbalance.

The ironic thing is that even though I know what to do, my anxious TMS brain has a hard time allowing me to do it! My tool is to stop, take a deep breath, stop thinking for a moment, allow calm to take over, do a quick body scan to release tension, and then literally tell my brain "hey, we're okay!" And keep going. Takes about ten seconds at the most. It doesn't replace the emotional work (the writing exercises in the SEP, for example - and I have to get back to writing for any significant flares) but it's surprisingly effective for the everyday tension that our brains like to keep us in.

Remember, your TMS brain has only one goal, which is to keep you out of danger so that you survive. The problem is that it doesn't recognize how physically safe most of us are in the modern world - it evolved for tens of thousands of years in a very primitive world, with the modern world a tiny blip of time. Every time you have a stress response to anything that our world throws at us constantly, your primitive brain treats it like it's a sabre-tooth tiger waiting to eat you. The stressor can be something really small, like someone cutting you off in traffic, or a comment from someone that made you uncomfortable or angry, a news article, your concern that something you're planning won't be perfect, or even just your overflowing email inbox. For most of us, it's an accumulation of these things, day after day.

 

[danijel1998]

It takes time and dedication - a commitment to yourself to begin working with the fear and anxiety of TMS.
My suggestion is to embrace a program: there are two free programs on this website at tmswiki.org (scroll down page) .. choose one, and begin to do it slowly (little bit each day). Read a book by Dr. Sarno to discover how TMS works in the mind. It is so helpful to have this solid knowledge.
The reality is, nobody can really give you “the way” to deal with fear. You can do a program that offers you some methods to try, but the ability to deal with this challenge is up to your mindset, and to a small degree, self-education.
Don’t push away or stifle the fear. Feel it, in your physical body and let it pass. Fear is just a thought. Thoughts are not necessarily true. You have to find a way to flip your fear switch to believing this.
Have patience. It took you a lifetime of anxiety to have TMS symptoms, it takes some time to learn new behaviors and thought patterns.. and sometimes we also need to do the emotional work to deal with all the internal stress our mind is creating.

Thank you for you response, i realized that i will need to have a lot more patience which combined with the right approach can give the results.

I 100% believe that my tinnitus is caused by TMS i am planning to follow dr. Sarno’s approach of ignoring the physical and start focusing only on psychological but with one element of Alan’s approach which is telling myself that the ringing is safe and not dangerous if i hear it during the day ( but will never be in the silence or try to hear it intentionally).

 

[danijel1998]

I find tinnitus to be an easy one despite that I have very loud tinnitus. It's not dangerous and can't kill you so that lowers it on my personal worry/fear list.
Nearly everyone has ringing in their ears. Everyone. They just don't...errr....hear it. Or rather pay attention to it. I have super duper loud tinnitus but I hadn't "heard" it until I read your post.
Sometimes it's bothersome when I'm trying to sleep because it's so quiet where I live.

I've had moments in time when I worried about it and then it's all you hear but I promise you this is one that some day you will forget about and even though it's there, you won't hear it. It's hard to explain.

What is it that you are afraid of about it?



Drats! Now I'm hearing mine loud and clear. And I haven't thought about it before now for months!

Very interesting, being that loud and yet not hear it in months, that’s amazing…

i don’t know, my TMS first manifested as ear fluttering and then i started researching and found out about ringing in the ears ( didn’t know that was possible) and i got so scared at that moment i panicked.. literally a day later i had a feeling that something spilled in my head and after that i started getting the ringing. I thought because of that spilling sensation that it is something serious and that i will die or something but everything is completely fine it is just my mind trying to place that idea of the structural damage. Idk it just sounded terrifying to me even before i got it… than once i got it i felt even more terrified…

 

[danijel1998]

Wow, @danijel1998, look how far you've come! I mean, getting back to 100 pushups with no pain? That's awesome.

Yeah, it's possible that the tinnitus might be your particular go-to symptom for your TMS brain. Remember that TMS is a normal brain response, it's not a "condition" which is going to be cured. You have to do the work and develop your skills so that managing it becomes almost automatic and totally manageable. Which you have already done for your significant symptoms.

I have a couple of TMS symptoms that come back instantly just going about my everyday life, which I just see as a reminder that I've got a lifetime of anxiety and hypersensitivity to be mindful of. One is reflux, which happens because I go around physically and mentally clenched. And in certain situations where my brain feels unsafe, the symptom is dizziness/imbalance.

The ironic thing is that even though I know what to do, my anxious TMS brain has a hard time allowing me to do it! My tool is to stop, take a deep breath, stop thinking for a moment, allow calm to take over, do a quick body scan to release tension, and then literally tell my brain "hey, we're okay!" And keep going. Takes about ten seconds at the most. It doesn't replace the emotional work (the writing exercises in the SEP, for example - and I have to get back to writing for any significant flares) but it's surprisingly effective for the everyday tension that our brains like to keep us in.

Remember, your TMS brain has only one goal, which is to keep you out of danger so that you survive. The problem is that it doesn't recognize how physically safe most of us are in the modern world - it evolved for tens of thousands of years in a very primitive world, with the modern world a tiny blip of time. Every time you have a stress response to anything that our world throws at us constantly, your primitive brain treats it like it's a sabre-tooth tiger waiting to eat you. The stressor can be something really small, like someone cutting you off in traffic, or a comment from someone that made you uncomfortable or angry, a news article, your concern that something you're planning won't be perfect, or even just your overflowing email inbox. For most of us, it's an accumulation of these things, day after day.

Thanks for your response, i made some good progress in one month even with being focused on the physical symptoms all the time, but from now i am starting to follow dr. Sarno’s approach to the teeth which means ignoring physical and focusing only on psychological.

Shoulder is almost back to normal completely, i only need to get back to my old routine of heavy lifting (which will i do slowly of course), IBS doing better as well with still some 3 out of 10 pain in a specific spot only for a few minutes a day and being able to eat various foods. I truly believe that my ear issues will resolve as well once i stop giving them that much attention in combination with huge amount of fear.

 

[Booble]

Very interesting, being that loud and yet not hear it in months, that’s amazing…

i don’t know, my TMS first manifested as ear fluttering and then i started researching and found out about ringing in the ears ( didn’t know that was possible) and i got so scared at that moment i panicked.. literally a day later i had a feeling that something spilled in my head and after that i started getting the ringing. I thought because of that spilling sensation that it is something serious and that i will die or something but everything is completely fine it is just my mind trying to place that idea of the structural damage. Idk it just sounded terrifying to me even before i got it… than once i got it i felt even more terrified…

Health Anxiety. Catastrophic thinking. I know it well.
Ringing in the ears is really nothing to be afraid of. I remember when I was younger one of my aunts said, "oh, yes, tinnitus, I've had it for years. Never bothers me." She was so casual about it that I was surprised. Now I understand. It really is no big deal. After awhile you won't even notice it unless you stop and think about it.
Of all the things to worry about, that one isn't really one.
But don't read message boards about it. You'll hear all these people focusing on it and it will make you think it's a big, bad, awful thing.
It's not. You'll forget about it soon.
(Unfortunately to be replaced with some other thing you'll worry about even more if you don't work on minimizing the health anxiety.)

 

[NameK]

I've been recnetly struggling with tinnitus again after mine has gotten louder in the past two weeks.

I know moat people here wouldn't think about using earplugs at like a bar and this one wasn't very loud.

I did not use them or think I needed them and I was there for 3 hours.

But ever since I've had a really bad spike or it could be from me being anxious and stressed about it.

It's noticeably louder and it's effecting my sleep. If it goes back down I could relax but the fact that it hasn't is driving me nuts.

Did I really somehow damage my hearing because of that!?

I used to avoid going out to loud events because even with hearing protection I was afraid that it would get louder and worse, I stopped using headphones for awhile as well.

I used to be very carefree and not worry about stuff like this but now I feel like I can't relax

I have noise induced tinnitus as far as I know

 

[TG957]

I used to be very carefree and not worry about stuff like this but now I feel like I can't relax

You need to focus on your anxiety in the first place. The more you take care of your anxiety, the more likely your tinnitus would stop bothering you. Have you tried audios from Dr. Claire Weekes? You can find them on Amazon.

 

[Cactusflower]

I've been recnetly struggling with tinnitus again after mine has gotten louder in the past two weeks.

I know moat people here wouldn't think about using earplugs at like a bar and this one wasn't very loud.

I did not use them or think I needed them and I was there for 3 hours.

But ever since I've had a really bad spike or it could be from me being anxious and stressed about it.

It's noticeably louder and it's effecting my sleep. If it goes back down I could relax but the fact that it hasn't is driving me nuts.

Did I really somehow damage my hearing because of that!?

I used to avoid going out to loud events because even with hearing protection I was afraid that it would get louder and worse, I stopped using headphones for awhile as well.

I used to be very carefree and not worry about stuff like this but now I feel like I can't relax

I have noise induced tinnitus as far as I know

What if your increased tinnitus is actually a form of social anxiety. Consider where you were, what you were doing and how you were truly feeling when you were there. Do you ever find you have social anxiety elsewhere (even if unrelated to any symptoms). Dr. Sarno asks us to always first think psychologically, so it's not about the music causing symptoms but how you were feeling (up, the stress and anxiety) in your life which led you to need symptoms).

 

[ValkyrKai]

Thank you for you response, i realized that i will need to have a lot more patience which combined with the right approach can give the results.

I 100% believe that my tinnitus is caused by TMS i am planning to follow dr. Sarno’s approach of ignoring the physical and start focusing only on psychological but with one element of Alan’s approach which is telling myself that the ringing is safe and not dangerous if i hear it during the day ( but will never be in the silence or try to hear it intentionally).

I struggle so much with the “ignore the symptoms” no matter how much I tell my brain not to pay attention it feels impossible. I mean, that’s literally why they’re there; to be a distraction!

I think one of the biggest pieces of proof I have that TMS is real is that someone who is truly experiencing a symptom that is caused by something structural may get distracted from their symptoms, but they’re still there. They can kind of still always feel them. Whereas if I get distracted when I turn my attention back to my symptoms they’ll fully be gone sometimes. Fully. But once I start thinking about them they comeback. And that’s just not how structural damage works

I think what has been helping me is when I’m having symptoms I’ll soothe myself and remind myself that they aren’t dangerous. I’ll remind myself of my proof. And I’ll remind myself of what is actually happening. Neural pathways and all that. And then I’ll just try to go about my business. Trying to ignore the symptoms just makes me think about them more. But if I acknowledge them, Soothe myself, and then continue what I’m doing regardless of whether it goes away or not it seems to be helping. If not with the symptoms it at least makes me feel better about them happening.

and patience is big. Not only on the process but with yourself.

 

[TG957]

I struggle so much with the “ignore the symptoms” no matter how much I tell my brain not to pay attention it feels impossible.

Ignoring symptoms is very different from accepting symptoms as part of you. Never fight them, just accept them as a signal sent to you by your brain. It is a necessary act of healing.