How To Deal With People Who Can Trigger Symptoms?

[plum]

Juliet,
I felt a dejavu when I read your response. Four years ago, I was exactly where you are. Plum and others are so right when they say relax and enjoy the present moment of being in this place of healing and transformation. This is an opportunity to allow yourself to JUST BE. Cool, eh?
Find a way to love yourself as you are now - brain fog and all. I realized four years ago as I was lying there unable to do much more than minimal function, that I had always attached my worth to WHAT I did, versus WHO I was.

So I settled in and started recognizing the love and beauty I had all around me without even doing anything. A huge eye-opener! That was the beginning of learning to love myself, which I had obviously never done before.

Then, because I loved myself with such great compassion, I learned to love others better than I ever had before and started attracting people who loved me for me and not my awesome skills.

While you're lying there, reveling in how grateful you are, you can start to take inventory of all the things you loved before you were 10 (when we were truly our own unique selves)...and think about how fun it is to do those things again.

When you feel up to it, do them in 10 minute increments here and there and see where it takes you. I am here to say, it works!! Have fun with it.

❤butterfly_queen

Gorgeous reply. Absolutely gorgeous.

 

[Lily Rose]

While you're lying there, reveling in how grateful you are, you can start to take inventory of all the things you loved before you were 10 (when we were truly our own unique selves)...and think about how fun it is to do those things again.

This reminded me of a lovely quote ~ "When you've been knocked to the ground, roll over and look at the stars." It is also good to remember that the stars are always there, night and day. We just don't see them when our primary star is bathing us in delicious sunbeams.

... always with Love and Compassion <3

 

[JulietBlue]

Don't fret about the brain fog, it is very common with meds. My mum has it from her diabetic medications and my partner has experienced it as a side effect of his Parkinson's meds. It's one of the main reasons he's been coming off them and he is better, sharper and more present for doing so.

You may also benefit from brain training, in addition to the other practices you mention. I did it religiously for a while and my cognitive abilities all ramped. I felt sharp and clear. I recommend the apps Elevate, Lumosity and Clockwork Brain. All have free versions available. They or anything like them will ensure neurogenesis.

Thanks Plum. I'm trying not too fret too much about it but it's challenging. I do think going cold turkey with the pain medicine I had been taking for so long is a component to this, even though the fog really started when I did a taper of oral steroids to try to help some of the pain and inflammation I was having. I really regret that decision. They made me horribly ill during and after I finished the taper. Still haven't felt like myself ever since. I do notice though that whatever is causing it, it gets a somewhat worse with anxiety or when my tension levels go up. I almost rather feel the pain then the fog. I need both my brain and my memory right now more then ever.

Thanks so much for your response and suggestions. I'm already doing luminosity everyday lately but I had not heard of the other two apps. Definitely going to check those out as well. I think my brain needs as much exercise as it can get right now.

 

[JulietBlue]

Juliet,
I felt a dejavu when I read your response. Four years ago, I was exactly where you are. Plum and others are so right when they say relax and enjoy the present moment of being in this place of healing and transformation. This is an opportunity to allow yourself to JUST BE. Cool, eh?
Find a way to love yourself as you are now - brain fog and all. I realized four years ago as I was lying there unable to do much more than minimal function, that I had always attached my worth to WHAT I did, versus WHO I was.

So I settled in and started recognizing the love and beauty I had all around me without even doing anything. A huge eye-opener! That was the beginning of learning to love myself, which I had obviously never done before.

Then, because I loved myself with such great compassion, I learned to love others better than I ever had before and started attracting people who loved me for me and not my awesome skills.

While you're lying there, reveling in how grateful you are, you can start to take inventory of all the things you loved before you were 10 (when we were truly our own unique selves)...and think about how fun it is to do those things again.

When you feel up to it, do them in 10 minute increments here and there and see where it takes you. I am here to say, it works!! Have fun with it.

❤butterfly_queen

Beautiful Comment butterfly_queen. It's so great to feel supported and that I'm not alone in this anymore and that others like yourself have been through it and survived. It gives me a lot of hope that I can put things back together.

Finding a way to love myself, I'm trying to do just that. I've realized recently how often I berate myself, put myself down and just how nasty I can be to myself at times. I think realizing and noticing this has been the first step for me. I'm just hoping that I can feel like I can function somewhat normally again cognitively. It's hard to imagine everything else falling in line if I don't have that. I guess that's something that will get better in time too. But you're absolutely right, I need to have compassion and love for myself regardless. I'm working on that too as the next step, or at least I've been trying.

I love the whole taking inventory of the things I loved before I was 10. That's a great tip. I've already thought of a few things and I'm sure if I try harder, I can think of a few more. Actually did this the other day without realizing it. One of those things I used to love to do was dancing. Loved it so much that when I was around 4 years old my mother brought me to my first dance lessons and I did those all the way through my childhood too. The other day I was listening to music, something else I hadn't done all that much of either when I was having constant migraines and tension headaches. And I got up and actually danced for a while. Nothing crazy or insane; My body is still pretty stiff. But I still moved that way for the first time in a long time. Sure, I had pain and brain fog during and I couldn't do the moves I used to ( not even close ) but still did it for a while (Might have even been over 10 minutes ) and that's more then I would have been able to do before. I was pretty amazed just at that. So I'm just going to try to do those things even more and see what happens.

Thank you so much. Every great piece of advice from everyone helps so much.

XxJulietBlue

 

[JulietBlue]

This reminded me of a lovely quote ~ "When you've been knocked to the ground, roll over and look at the stars." It is also good to remember that the stars are always there, night and day. We just don't see them when our primary star is bathing us in delicious sunbeams.

... always with Love and Compassion <3

Such a beautiful quote. I love it and will remember that from now on. Thank you.

 

[Plumcrazy]

I am loving this discussion, because I am facing this with a complicated toxic situation involving the spouse of a family member, but also my family member, as well. They are going through a really horrible struggle, but the spouse plays victim in various ways. Unless I attend to them like they think that I should, then I am selfish. Not said in so many words, but I know. Trust me, I know. I honestly just want to love them from afar, pray daily for them like I do, and touch base at the obligatory times...holidays. If I could completely cut out social media connection without their knowing it, I would do it. I have unfollowed, but since we are long distance apart, I feel I need to peek in. The negativity is so not easy. I know that my past two summers of pain issues is mostly due to this.

 

[JulietBlue]

Hi Plumcrazy,


Thanks for commenting. I can definitely relate to toxic situations and family. I'm still learning how to deal with that myself.

As far as Facebook goes, I realized last year when I was at the height of my disability that it was better for me to try to stay away as much as possible. I agree that it can be a good platform to keep in touch with friends and family who live far away but for me, it just made me feel worse about my circumstances to see everyone else go on with their lives, seemingly perfect and happy. Even now, I don't go on that often and even disabled my account for a while. When I do, it's not to see what others are up to. Not yet anyway. Baby steps. Just recently I used it to get back in touch with a couple of friends I haven't spoken to in a very long time. I'm trying to face my fears and be a little more social after being off of everyone's radar for so long. Even if for right now it's just getting back in touch, minus the friend's I realized were not good for me to be around. Told one we would be getting together soon so that's the next step for me. Actually going out. Hard when you still have pain and anxiety and have been isolated for so long. I think the only way to face the fear now really is just by doing no matter what, it seems. Guess we'll see how that goes.

 

[Gigi]

Hi JulietBlue.
I have moved quite a bit geographically, and sometimes encounter people who I knew many years before. Some knew me when I was nearly physically incapacitated, and they ask how I got to where I am now.
I keep my response simple, such as, "it turned out to be largely stress related, and I've had a lot of success with doing mind-body work." Those who are open to knowing more will ask. Those who aren't just change the subject.

 

[Plumcrazy]

Hi Plumcrazy,


Thanks for commenting. I can definitely relate to toxic situations and family. I'm still learning how to deal with that myself.

As far as Facebook goes, I realized last year when I was at the height of my disability that it was better for me to try to stay away as much as possible. I agree that it can be a good platform to keep in touch with friends and family who live far away but for me, it just made me feel worse about my circumstances to see everyone else go on with their lives, seemingly perfect and happy. Even now, I don't go on that often and even disabled my account for a while. When I do, it's not to see what others are up to. Not yet anyway. Baby steps. Just recently I used it to get back in touch with a couple of friends I haven't spoken to in a very long time. I'm trying to face my fears and be a little more social after being off of everyone's radar for so long. Even if for right now it's just getting back in touch, minus the friend's I realized were not good for me to be around. Told one we would be getting together soon so that's the next step for me. Actually going out. Hard when you still have pain and anxiety and have been isolated for so long. I think the only way to face the fear now really is just by doing no matter what, it seems. Guess we'll see how that goes.

Likely, you are doing the right thing with the social medial breaks. Actually, I wish I had that willpower to step away, too. To many reasons for going there, myself, which draws me to other connections that I can't fully ignore. Good for you in moving forward to face fear and becoming more social, one step at a time.

 

[JulietBlue]

Hi JulietBlue.
I have moved quite a bit geographically, and sometimes encounter people who I knew many years before. Some knew me when I was nearly physically incapacitated, and they ask how I got to where I am now.
I keep my response simple, such as, "it turned out to be largely stress related, and I've had a lot of success with doing mind-body work." Those who are open to knowing more will ask. Those who aren't just change the subject.

Hi Gigi,

That's great advice. I was already wondering how I would respond to questions about this and not exactly knowing what I would say to those who ask. Of course I was already getting kind of nervous about how I would handle it. Trying to explain TMS to someone and all the different aspects of it just felt a little too daunting. Your response is much simpler. Thank you!