How to actually do the program? 6 weeks total commitment?

[Robert_42]

Hello TMS wiki,

I have had TMS for over two years now. I was diagnosed very soon after symptoms developed and have ever since being trying to get better.

I have read Dr. John Sarno's books over 10 times, I meditate daily, I exercise regularly, I journal daily and this is my second time doing the programme but I am yet to complete it!

Tonight however when I was working I hit bottom… again… the pain in my back was horrific and I just emotionally slumped… I feel so low and so desperate… I can't help but think about how better it would be if I just stopped the pain by killing myself.

I have realised however that I have missed a few days of the wiki recently… and that the wiki doesn't really advise on how to do the process.

The programme takes about 1 hour to 1 hour 30 a day… which doesn't sound much but fitting that in everyday is very difficult!

I am a student and at university. I live with other students and one of the biggest problems of my life is balancing work and social life. Which often involves long essays that take 12 hour days of library work and then a social life that involves going out drinking late at night which results in an irregular body clock.

Neither of which I am enjoying because my back hurts for about 14 hours my waking 16 hours per day. University life is great and supposed to be the best times of our lives but all I really want is to not be in pain everyday.

So I am thinking of fully committing to my TMS treatment: six weeks of no parties, no late nights and TMS work everyday.

What would everyone say to this? I know forest talks about trying too hard and that he got better when he stopped trying but that is easier said then done. And I know that some of you are going to try to tell me to achieve balance and this too is easier said then done… as finding an hour and a half a day sounds easy but it's not when you are already busy doing a degree.

Thank to anyone that helps,

Yours,

Robert

 

[Ryan]

Robert,

Sorry to hear where your at, sounds like your in a desperate place. It's not worth taking your life over, if need reach out to someone and get help. You have hope and life is a precious thing. Talk with a trusted friend or therapists for where your at, don't isolate yourself. Feel free to private message me if you need someone to talk to.

As for your other questions, take the program at your own pace. There is no right or wrong way. By the way you are talking you are putting a lot of pressure on your self to do certain things. In your last paragraph you answered your own question. Maybe you do need balance and find a way to do this.

You sound like you are also in a place of fear and doubt. Until you can overcome the fear of the pain it will persists. Also to not be preoccupied with the symptoms. How often per day do you monitor the pain? If you continue to fear It will cause you to go into a flight or fight response which will keep your nervous system stimulated.

Wishing you the best of luck and hope you get some relief soon. Never give up and lose hope, faith and perserverance go a long way.

Ryan

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Robert, I echo Ryan's advice. Don't push yourself so much doing the SEP. Do the daily exercises
at your own pace. And don't despair. Healing from TMS takes time for most of us, and total
100 percent belief that our pain is not structural but from repressed emotions and/or a
perfectionist and goodist personality.

When you really feel low, change your mind by laughing. And deep breathing.
Think positive, that you are doing to lick the pain and be healthier and happier than you
ever thought possible. Then you will be.

Don't let your Inner Bully make you fear you are not going to be free of your pain.
Tell it to stop it. Laugh it into oblivion.

Don't give up on enjoying life. That won't help you to heal. Enjoying life can
distract your Inner Bully.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Robert,
I think your inquiry is a good one: How much effort and commitment will really serve me, as I am in this moment. I think others are pointing to that "worry, fear, and pushing too hard" is all part of the "problem." But there you have it, this is part of your make up, as it is mine. So I want to address this, and pardon me for not voting in your poll.

No matter how you decide to handle the logistics of your program, you might put aside a minute or two to simply acknowledge these traits (the traits that you surmise are related to your TMS) in you: how they come up in relation to your life, in your relationship to your work on the TMS program, how you use certain behaviors to feel relieved from these traits, how you find yourself trapped in repetitive "non-productive" stances like worry, fear, pushing. Doing this, you may see how your personality is pressured, how it is active, and all the suffering involved.

I think some of our core personality stuff, our familiar nexus of suffering is part of what TMS distracts us from. This pressure. This compulsivity. Because it is so core, it is actually very familiar and available to our awareness. For me, this is great because I can see it easily --but painful if I make myself wrong for having this. It helps me to see my personality suffering, this pressurizing as part of the human condition. And that at this level, I don't expect it will ever change.

I have to remember that Dr. Sarno says you don't have to change anything in yourself. You have to see what's operating and make the connection to your pain. This undoes the TMS. In our deep pain suffering, we naturally want to change things, and this means thinking we need to change our inner landscape. This in itself can be recognized as a TMS personality trait, and observed. TMS relief is more easy than having to change something so strong in us. And true compassion doesn't push us to be other than what we are.

So seeing the very traits that may keep you in TMS with compassion may help you, as a daily medicine while doing the program.

I see your pain, Robert and the incredible commitment you have to taking yourself out of this suffering. I send my support and deep respect.