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How do I handle stress when my husband cannot?

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Cat Lady 13, Jun 9, 2017.

  1. Cat Lady 13

    Cat Lady 13 New Member

    So today the clutch in the 2003 Corvette gets stuck to the floor and my husband can't go see his psychologist. He had a complete meltdown and is texting and calling me at work. He can't handle ANY type of stress. He has a friend visiting tomorrow for an overnight stay that he has not seen in 20 years which is freaking him out as well.

    So as always I take care of EVERYTHING! I call the auto repair shop and talk to them. And when I get home I call and arrange a tow through our insurance company for Monday. I send the friend the best routes to our house because my husband cannot and does not travel anywhere unless I am driving. I travel to visit my friend on the other side of the state regularly.

    I really don't care anything about this friend but I don't want to discourage the visit because it's the first friend he has had visit since we moved here almost 20 years ago. I just hope he doesn't have an IBS attack or a migraine and I am stuck entertaining. I had to go to meet his family last fall down in Orlando because he could not. So I represented the family.

    Who the hell takes care of me? Gee I wonder why I have back pain and headaches too!! Could be 20 years of dealing with all of this crap. No wonder I have depression, anxiety and chronic pain.

    How do I learn to deal with it and not feel the pain?
  2. nick

    nick New Member

    hi cat lady 13,

    that sounds exhausting but with a powerful note ;) may you should take care of yourself first!!! Im also a person who takes a lot of care about others and forget myself very often. For me its time for a change ;) i try to look at my needs and my wishes ...
    It is not easy, but its time, cause i only can take care, if Im in balance ...
    maybe it is time to stop doing things for your husband?... I read he has a lot of anxiety ...I know thats not easy, I also had horrible panic attacks ...and ok it is nice to have someone on your side and helping you, but honestly it doesnt help against anxiety and stress ... I learned to come down and to be with anxiety and to do all what I avoided. Now I can handle the panic and anxiety.... With pain it is harder for me ... I had big improvements with ignoring, see my first, doing goods things and saying: its ok pain, you can stay ...accepting and understanding is the key ( for me)
    wish you the best

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