How can I ‘get on with life’ while I’m in pain and weak?

[Booble]

I agree, @JanAtheCPA. I am loving these husband stories! My husband and I both think that this recent bout of my TMS has really put us both to the test. It takes a lot to get through this together. So much strain on both sides. I’m not the one who ever wants to be weak. I hate to be vulnerable, which for right now, I am. And now I have to be gracious and accept all this help from him.

Meanwhile, he has learned how to cook! Ha! I never dreamed that was possible. He refused. Now he’s even become kind of “protective” of “his” kitchen. He shoos me out if I try and help. And he actually follows recipes, so things turn out great! (I never do follow recipes exactly). Believe me, he can have the kitchen! He is also doing all the laundry and the million little things I used to do. He says, “I’m exhausted! I can’t hold up under all this pressure!” And I say, half jokingly, “Oh, you mean, doing what most women the world over are doing on a daily basis?” I think he does have a new understanding of things. But yes, it’s good and also very hard sometimes these days.

And like Booble said:

I love that he has learned to cook!
I was spending alot of time out of town for a few years prior to COVID. I'd be gone for 3-5 weeks at a time. Husband had to take care of himself in regard to cooking. It was good for him! He didn't get into like your husband did (darnit!) but he would manage to make some meals with instructions I gave him.
He'd make a giant thing of spaghetti meat sauce and then eat it all week long.
It definitely was good for both of us to learn how to spend some time away from each other since we've been like Siamese Twins.

 

[Ellen]

OK, I'm going to make an unconventional suggestion. Be silly and have fun with your props or assistive devices. Paint that scooter a bright color, add streamers, a silly horn, and crazy lights. Wear a clown wig and big red nose and go up and down the boardwalk having the time of your life. I bet people will smile at you big and stop to talk. You will be having too much fun to think about your pain, weakness or past trauma. Get your husband on board and let him have fun with it too.

There is actually some method to my mad suggestion. You will be throwing your brain a complete curve ball that will keep it from sliding into its established grooves. It will not know what the hell is going on and will be forced to find a new way. The fun and silliness will serve as a distraction, so you won't need the distraction of TMS.

Bonus points if you film this and share it with us!

 

[Diana-M]

It's interesting how the legs seem to be your major TMS zone.
Have you explored?
Legs -- what happened around legs? What are legs used for? How do legs work? Who hurt your legs? Who tried to stop you from moving forward? Who do you hate?!

Great idea! Thanks, @Booble! I have looked into it a little. But it can’t hurt to explore some more. I heard in a Nichole Sachs podcast that you often have to visit topics of anger many many times.

 

[Diana-M]

OK, I'm going to make an unconventional suggestion. Be silly and have fun with your props or assistive devices. Paint that scooter a bright color, add streamers, a silly horn, and crazy lights. Wear a clown wig and big red nose and go up and down the boardwalk having the time of your life. I bet people will smile at you big and stop to talk. You will be having too much fun to think about your pain, weakness or past trauma. Get your husband on board and let him have fun with it too.

There is actually some method to my mad suggestion. You will be throwing your brain a complete curve ball that will keep it from sliding into its established grooves. It will not know what the hell is going on and will be forced to find a new way. The fun and silliness will serve as a distraction, so you won't need the distraction of TMS.

Bonus points if you film this and share it with us!

Awesome idea! I like this!

 

[Booble]

I heard in a Nichole Sachs podcast that you often have to visit topics of anger many many times.

OMG I repeat the same dang stuff over and over....and each time it alleviates one thing or another.
My little self needs to get out it's frustrating and anger and temper tantrums multiple times.

 

[Diana-M]

Everyone who helped me in this one, thank you!!! Last night I took it all to heart and I tried walking around my living room using only one hand on the rollator, with it at my side. I wouldn’t have tried this without your tough love. It made me realize that even though I’m doing all this TMS work, I really AM thinking something’s wrong with my legs. So now I have to change that. I caught a glimpse last night. I also began some more journaling on my legs. What’s this all about. I found out an even bigger layer—even more about my history. (I’ll spare it for this discussion). It was BIG. I’m getting somewhere. And I love you guys for it!

 

[Diana-M]

Ask yourself what secret "missed" medical condition would cripple you like this...without you being dead by now.

Anything?

Haunting me!

 

[Booble]

Everyone who helped me in this one, thank you!!! Last night I took it all to heart and I tried walking around my living room using only one hand on the rollator, with it at my side. I wouldn’t have tried this without your tough love. It made me realize that even though I’m doing all this TMS work, I really AM thinking something’s wrong with my legs. So now I have to change that. I caught a glimpse last night. I also began some more journaling on my legs. What’s this all about. I found out an even bigger layer—even more about my history. (I’ll spare it for this discussion). It was BIG. I’m getting somewhere. And I love you guys for it!

Fantastic!
You are in charge of your legs not your scared girlie inside. Compassion for her but taking charge yourself.
Well done!

 

[Cactusflower]

Everyone who helped me in this one, thank you!!! Last night I took it all to heart and I tried walking around my living room using only one hand on the rollator, with it at my side. I wouldn’t have tried this without your tough love. It made me realize that even though I’m doing all this TMS work, I really AM thinking something’s wrong with my legs. So now I have to change that. I caught a glimpse last night. I also began some more journaling on my legs. What’s this all about. I found out an even bigger layer—even more about my history. (I’ll spare it for this discussion). It was BIG. I’m getting somewhere. And I love you guys for it!

Wonderful! Keep picturing it all as layers of the onion!