Hi,
Today's SEP question is how am I doing. The answer is frustrated. There are some moments every day when I start to feel like myself. I am walking 4.5-5miles (up to 2 miles at a time) with great success but I still fear standing and sitting. I hate the vibration sensation in my feet. I also hate that yesterday I ended up with mid-back pain. When the sensations are better controlled, I fear them coming back. I FEAR that I will fail. I am setting myself up for failure in all ways. I need to think of each good moment and try not to Fear the bad ones. I need to stop talking about the pain and control and just give in and let it happen. I think the fear is leading to more pain! Yesterday I went for a massage - not because I needed it but because I enjoy it. Ok, I needed it too. I wanted a break. I was able to let go for a short period of time and give in. I wish I could do this without the massage! I want to feel normal aches and pain not nerve pain and tingling/buzzing. I like to work out and get a little achy and sweaty. That was great, this is ugly! My goal is to try to stop fearing this and keep moving forward.
Today's SEP question is how am I doing. The answer is frustrated. There are some moments every day when I start to feel like myself. I am walking 4.5-5miles (up to 2 miles at a time) with great success but I still fear standing and sitting. I hate the vibration sensation in my feet. I also hate that yesterday I ended up with mid-back pain. When the sensations are better controlled, I fear them coming back. I FEAR that I will fail. I am setting myself up for failure in all ways. I need to think of each good moment and try not to Fear the bad ones. I need to stop talking about the pain and control and just give in and let it happen. I think the fear is leading to more pain! Yesterday I went for a massage - not because I needed it but because I enjoy it. Ok, I needed it too. I wanted a break. I was able to let go for a short period of time and give in. I wish I could do this without the massage! I want to feel normal aches and pain not nerve pain and tingling/buzzing. I like to work out and get a little achy and sweaty. That was great, this is ugly! My goal is to try to stop fearing this and keep moving forward.
