Hi everyone,
This is my seventh day on the program (2nd time). I am stuck with a horrible flare up that has nothing to do with doing the program and which is putting me in a very distressed and gloomy mindset. Here is what happened.
Exactly a month ago I attended a CFS support group in my city. I didn't want to go as I thought that in order to follow Dr Sarno's instructions, I should avoid such gatherings. Plus, I didn't believe that I could gain anything at all from this group (or another one). Yet, my partner kind of encouraged me to go, saying that I had nothing to lose and that Dr Sarno could be right in that there is a psychosomatic part in my condition but that I should close no door since there could be something else. The meeting is set in a hospital quarter, I have an appointement with a doctor there in January, a doctor who is a researcher on fibro and cfs. The people at the meeting are all his patients. I remember telling him about my fear of catching new symptoms. I must add that I fell sick over six years ago little time after meeting my sister-in-law who has had fibro for decades. Little did I know back then what it was or that I was a TMSer, I had no idea, as you can guess. In a nutshell, knowing my tendency to copy other people's symptoms, I was reluctant to attend that meeting and I went only to see. See what... I have been wondering and I think I expected to learn something, find something interesting or meet people I could relate to (racordify as Steve O says). I am completely cut off from the world, I only speak to my partner (or my dog!).
The day after the meeting, I started having some symptoms such as coughing, very intense and extended muscle and joint pain, sweats, cognitive issues such as impossibility to focus and very strong diahrea. From the beginning: I thought things like "I hope I haven't caught these people's CFS symptoms".
I don't have fatigue. I remember people at the meeting complained of a great deal of fatigue but none of them had pain. After two weeks, I saw my doctor who told me it was a kind of flu virus that a lot of people had, that this year it was particularly weird and that some people had it for up to three weeks. I was reassured and kept taking some pain killer (as it helps with the fever).
Now, it's been four weeks and I have no improvement at all. So, very reluctantly, I checked the web yesterday to try and figure out what was going on. The only answer I could find was: flare up.
I have been doing the wiki program again for seven days and following Dr Sarno's tips seriously for five weeks. Thinking psychologically mainly is one thing that I had dropped.
So here I am: stuck with new symptoms plus old ones that are reaching a stage where all I want to do is just be in bed and cry. I cannot help but think of my body, it hurts so bad. I had managed to do some sport, be more physical, even do some chores at home but now I can do nothing at all. I am really in hell, this reminds me of about a year after falling sick: my state had been worsening and I had reached a stage where I could no longer walk, pain was too intense. Now, add sweats and diahrea and you've got a body that is hassling me.
Has anyone ever experienced this kind of flare up (again, I'm not talking about flare ups triggered by the program but one that is triggered by a virus). I make a difference as I know what happens due to the program and I know it is transient and goes away by itself, just by being persistent.
What should I do? I read that some fibro sufferers take antivirals in order to shorten the flare up. That's fine but they take this medicine shortly after the appearance of symptoms, I have had them for a month...
Anyone's insight is warmly welcome. I am very hurt. I used to be sad and moody, now I am shattered. I really wonder how to cope with this new development. I continue the wiki program, of course. I have the impression I have fallen down very very deep and don't see how to gather enough strength to pull myself up. I mean one month is long, no improvement at all is disheartening.
Thanks in advance for sharing your insights and experience.
Mina
