There have been a lot of ups and downs since I started the TMS education. When I can convince myself that the real diagnosis is TMS I do feel much better for awhile. But when I talk to my doctor or a friend (especially those in the medical profession) I can lose ground rapidly and fall into believing the MRI and Xray diagnosis. Then I do feel worse and feel depression along with the pain. I wish I could just trust my experience alone and not need validation. There are no TMS trained doctors in my state. I may try a doctor who uses skype just to help me stop doubting. I also struggle with feeling like a nut case when I try to talk to friends about this. For now I've stopped trying because it seems to set me back. Most think I'm nuts for not wanting to have both of my hips replaced. It can feel lonely processing all this stuff in a world that doesn't get it. I'm in the middle of doing the Presence Process. It has been very helpful for getting in touch with my feelings. I realized when I journaled that I was writing about feelings without feeling them. Also been doing things to calm my nervous system- tai chi chih, acupuncture - not for the pain but for stress and calming my nervous system. The hardest part of the hip pain is that I can't walk for pleasure or stress relief. All my life walking was how I de-stressed and processed things. I'm trying to find other ways but I so miss walking. I've been able to resume most activities, I can bike, do various exercises and garden, I can walk around at work, home and my yard. But most of the time when I try to go for a walk after a few minutes every step hurts and something in my hips locks up. I feel like I've forgotten how to walk normally but I know that's not possible. But I am hopeful and I'm learning to be patient with this process.