Hi everyone, So although it is DAY 1 of SEP for me, I have read Dr Sarno's book, Healing Back pain many times, I recently read The Mind-Body Prescription and just this morning, finished Steve Ozanich's, The Great Pain Deception. I am about 95% sure that I have TMS. The inkling of doubt is because the pain manifests as tension headache and mild migraines (I am saying mild, in comparison to what I used to get before I started reading about TMS). The 5% is because I sometimes link my migraines to food sensitivities and also I worry that it is something more serious. My father passed away from a brain tumor and I can get wrapped up in that. There was a small paragraph in Ozanich's book about (I am totally paraphrasing here) a father and son relationship, where the son took on the health issues of the father. Anyway, this is probably the wrong thread for this. I will look to see where I need to write my story and go further into it there. DAY 1: I had seen the video before and really related to it and it helped me believe even more that I have TMS. What really made me pause to think was the question. What would a life without TMS mean to you? Wow. This question has really made me face some very difficult realizations this morning. I haven't even journaled about it yet but I am grappling with the truth that a life without TMS would mean that I would have to show up! That I would no longer be able to hide behind the pain du jour. This is really bloody scary and it leads to a bigger questions about why I am afraid to show up for myself and my life which if I dig deeper, leads to some emotions and memories and feelings about my childhood (which I will write in My Story) that are very overwhelming in terms of rage, sadness, fury etc. I am also realizing the goodist in me makes sure everyone else is ok and today, I am feeling a lot of anger and want to yell "BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? WHO IS MAKING SURE I AM OK?" None of this is really that new to me, as I have been in therapy on an off for years but I think that the level of the rage is hitting me stronger because I have copped on to what my body is doing. The game is up and I can see how pain is a distraction, so my rage is laid bare. I can see why I would want to distract myself through pain as these emotions are tough to face and to sit with and lean into, but the scale has tipped and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I am grateful that this support forum is here and I welcome your experiences and words of wisdom.