Here I go again...

The headache is back. I could feel it creeping up my neck and instead of reaching for my Costco-sized bottle of ibuprofen, I have been talking to my TMS. And the headache has been getting worse...waking me up at 4:00am.

My dilemma is "to take ibuprofen or not." I know that I know this is TMS based upon years of medical evaluation and reading the books.

But I also know my stress level has been even higher than the usual baseline of stress....my dearly beloved gramma is dying among other circumstances - family drama and business pressures.

I don't want to feed the illusion that this is nothing more than a mild oxygen depreciation but today is going to be a HUGE day. Lots of family members packed into a little house to say good bye to the family matriarch.

Is this a good time to draw a line in the sand and not take anything (I do find relief...sometimes) or is this a time for self-compassion with the understanding ibuprofen is a placebo but it will help me through these challenging days?

I'm so tired of these d*mn headaches ruling my life! Any input is welcome...

 

No wonder you have a headache with a busy day with family visiting and grandma dying.

Get yourself through it as best you can. If possible take a few minutes for deep breathing somewhere by yourself.

If you can't get away from the crowd, try deep breathing while you're working on meals. Maybe just go to the bathroom and breathe deeply. Slow and deep from the tummy inflated like a balloon... hold the breath a few moments, then let it out with a "whoosh," and think peace... "I am relaxed. I am at peace."

I am working on a new thread for the forum about headaches from this article below that might be of help to you.


Headache Center

Types of Headaches and Causes

While there are many different kinds of headaches, tension-type and migraine headaches are most common. Since these two headache types may be treated differently, determining which type you have is a critical step in relieving the pain.

Tension-type headaches are sometimes called muscle contraction headaches. The pain is usually a dull ache on both sides of the head and has been described as feeling like a tight band across the front of the head. It is also associated with stiffness of the neck/shoulder and frequent pain.

Migraine-type headaches produce moderate to severe pounding or throbbing pain, common on one side of the head. Migraine pain is often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and sensitivity to light and/or sounds. To answer your questions about migraines, visit the Migraine section of this site.

Other types of headaches you may have heard of include:

Cluster headaches are relatively uncommon, but cause excruciating, sharp-as-knife pain around one eye. Attacks occur daily in clusters of weeks or months, then disappear completely for months or years. They are four times more common in men than women, and typically start before age 30. See your doctor if you think you have a cluster headache.

Rebound headaches occur in less than 2% of patients whose persistent headache pain causes them to overuse headache medication. These headaches may worsen with physical or mental exertion. Talk to your doctor if you feel that you may be experiencing these headaches.

Sinus headaches are headaches with a deep and constant pain in the cheekbones, forehead, or bridge of the nose. This pain usually intensifies with sudden head movement or straining and is usually accompanied by symptoms such as fever, runny nose, and clogged ears.

Causes of Headaches

The cause: brain chemistry


Medical researchers understand the mechanisms of headache better than ever before. In fact, the latest theory about the underlying cause of headache has to do with brain chemistry. While research to the underlying causes of headache is ongoing, common factors that can trigger headache today are well documented. This understanding can greatly help headache sufferers like you. By avoiding the factors that trigger your headaches, you can help prevent their onset.

Headache Triggers

Triggers and patterns



Foods very often trigger migraine headaches. Below is a list of the most common food triggers. Keep them in mind the next time you suffer a headache. Does eating or drinking any of these coincide with your headaches?...

Red wine or white wine bananas other alcohol citrus fruits chocolate monosodium glutamate (MSG); cheese freshly baked bread (yeast) pickled foods coffee, tea, cola nuts aspartame (food or drink)

Think back to a previous headache. Was it a particularly stressful day or was there a sudden change in the weather? Using the following chart, check off some of the factors that could be involved in the onset of your headaches. You may see a pattern.

Identify your triggers


Stressful or hectic days, including long hours, intense deadlines Other emotions, such as depression, anxiety, let down, frustration — and even pleasant excitement Poor posture and tense jaws Foods (see list above) Alcoholic beverages Odors Skipping meals Irregular sleep patterns.

Headache Prevention & Management

Understanding headache prevention and treatment techniques can help you manage your headache pain. This section will help you quickly assess your headaches and evaluate your success in managing them. It provides tools for charting important factors involved in your headaches, guidance on recording the characteristics of your headaches, discussing them with your doctor, and tips for your pain.

 

Hi Montana, we often seem similar! Most of my usual TMS pain is nicely under control, but I've been getting headaches the last few months. I need repeatedly to keep remembering it is TMS (your post helped!). I too have had a stressful family thing since June, and that's when the headaches started. What a surprise

Anyway, a few ibuprofen to get you through a hard day just seems sensible to me. You have a firm idea that it is TMS already. If anything, a bit of relief might help the mind focus on something other than pain, which is always good TMS strategy. Good luck in the coming days, grief and family gatherings can be minefields for sure. Hang in there!

 

Hi, just try really hard to relax, just really try to meditate or just focus you thoughts on a
happy time in you life, I will work if you try!! Just say Stop It, I will not do this!! Feel
free to write back. Don't Let It Contol You! You are in Control of Yourself! Nancy

 

Thanks for the encouragement (and information!) Walt, Tarala and Nancy. I DID end up popping some ibu with, like usual, minimal results. My old script for the headache pain has been a car accident history (which included a fractured skull) and then later herniated discs (which my PT postulated was a result of the accident over two decades previously.) I only add that because I wonder if there's part of my mind that has trouble letting go of that story and embracing TMS.
The day went well overall, lots of relatives...laughter, hugs and a few tears. Gramma was soaking it all in. (She asked everyone to gather before she dies so she can say goodbye; she is very frail but 100% cognizant.)
This morning, I woke up with the headache just raging again. But what is so frustrating, I had a CLEAR connection in my head as to a trigger...and then POOF...before I could get to my notebook...it disappeared like a vapor in the wind. It was a quite the AHA! moment and I'm frustrated that I didn't remember. Perhaps my mind is slowing bringing something to the surface and it will reemerge in due time.
We will be heading back to gramma's today; I am so grateful for this opportunity to see her again. She has been requesting music (many of us play an instrument) and today I'm bringing my favorite poetry book to read some of our favorite poems to her. It's a lesson on How to Die Well. It's sounds a bit macabre but is a lovely gracious gift for both us and her.
Hope y'all have a wonderful day.

 

MontanaMom, it sure sounds like you had a lot better time with the family and visiting grandma than you expected.
I bet your inner self loved it.
And getting rid of the overnight headache so fast shows it can be done. We can journal in our minds, too. We don't have
to always write it down, especially if there isn't time to do that. Positive thinking is what it takes.

I posted a day or two ago about headaches and you might take a look at it.
I find that if I have a headache, they either subside or go away if I do deep breathing, tell myself some positive affirmations,
and give my head a massage... forehead, sides, and top of the head... Hands on healing plus thinking calm thoughts.

Hope your visit to grandma today goes well... music and poetry. Your grandma is an inspiration to us all. Tell her I said hi.

 

Thanks, Walt.....I wasn't clear about the headache. The headache did plague me this morning; it was the connection to TMS that disappeared as quickly as it popped into my head. Right now, I am *mostly* free of the headache. And yes, I DID read your helpful post about headaches...thank you!

The visit with Grandma today was wonderful. A little hard to get through a few poems though as I got choked up a few times. I'd read a poem and would pause for her to fill in a few verses here and there. Longfellow...Fields...Whittier...oh, the volumes tucked into her lovely head!

The greatest treat was seeing her hold (with assistance) her great, great newborn granddaughter. The stuff of life.

 

I feel so many feelings for you, just wish you peace. I wish you so much relief from any emotional and
physical pain. I truly care as I know what you are going through. I lost my spouse 3 yrs ago and my mom
just 3mths ago. I truly wish you peace. Please write back if you wish to, Nancy

 

Nancy, Thank you for your kind well wishes. With the way gramma has been handling these things, believe me...it is bringing more health and peace into the entire family. She has set an example for all of us to follow: Love one another....and be sure and express that while you can!
I am so sorry for your recent loss. And for your spouse too. 3 years is still not very long.
I've known a lot of loss...mom, dad, a brother and a sister, so I can empathize with the pain your dealing with.

Blessings and peace to you, Nancy.

 

I thank you so much for sending me this message of encouragement, true feelings of understanding the process
of life. I am so pleased with the way you are approaching this loss. You are strong, empathetic, and just accepting
of what God has planned. I have also lost my Mom and Dad and a unborn child of 8mths, then my husband. TOO
MUCH!! Keep in touch, I always wait to see your posts!