I know how disappointing it can feel when you start to have some improvement and then the pain increases or moves somewhere else. Habitual thinking patterns can be challenging to change. Our thoughts are each and every moment, and so you can do really well for a long period of time and then poof, you fall back on what is easy and familiar and a chain reaction occurs. Many years ago, I spent a lot of money on Cognitive Behavior therapy to change my anxiety producing, worst case scenario, chronic thought patterns. I would wear rubber bands on my wrist and snap it each time I had a negative, self deprecating, worrisome thought. I just ended up beating myself up for not being able to change the way I think. I was just reflecting on how I eventually did it. How have I successfully managed to change my more damaging thinking patterns? And I think that rather than controlling or concretely changing the way I think, I have mastered the ability to redirect my thoughts. So when I notice that my thoughts are fear provoking, I choose to either think about something else, or I think some soothing thoughts. I often tell myself that I am okay, even if I do not feel okay. I reassure myself, I remind myself that I am a really good person and I am doing the best I can. I tell myself all kinds of things that I never used to say. I did not say them before because I was not positive they were true. In the past I tended to focus on the what if's, all of the things that could be wrong. The pain was constant verification that something was wrong. The more I convince myself that I am okay, the better I feel. The more I think about what is going on in my life outside of pain, and focus on how I feel without any negative editorializing, the less pain I feel. And when I do feel pain, I am not as likely to focus on it non stop and create a lot of fear around it. I don't expect to never have the kind of thoughts I used to have, but I am much more aware of when they come and much better about not running with them. 3 weeks is not a long time and you have already made a lot of progress. It will get better. Practice as much outcome independence as you can. It will get easier.
