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Help with managing thoughts during flare

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Freeange, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    i have been doing the SEP for 22 days and over the last week saw some improvement even significant on some days. Today I'm having a flare of symptoms (fibromyalgia) and am really discouraged. I think this is probably normal but my thinking has gone back to old patterns (is it the weather, did I eat something I'm allergic to, is it a side effect, blah blah blah). I have been reading the 12 reminders etc and using self talk but I'm not sure what else to do. Do I continue with the exercising I started even though I'm in pain? Do I just relax and ride it out?

    Any help appreciated. Lots of fear right now
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  2. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Personally I'd relax and ride it out. Take the pressure off by doing something pleasurable...a warm bath with a good book, lie on your bed and listen to music that lifts your spirits, or do as Sarno suggested at one point, enjoy a decent glass of wine, go to bed and embrace the truth that tomorrow is another day and a fresh chance to turn it all around.

    On my long and tedious tms journey I have found that once pain starts to ebb and flow you are getting somewhere. Loosen your hold on the day-by-day fluctuations and focus more, much more, on what nourishes you.

    As for fear, my best advice is to read some Claire Weekes. She had a real knack of putting it in context and helping you get past it. You'll find some of her stuff on here, on youtube and tinternet generally.

    Keep your faith my sweet.

    breakfree and mike2014 like this.
  3. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    Thank you Plum. That was very helpful. Sometimes I just need someone to out it in perspective for me.
  4. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    So, so delighted that @plum is posting again on the Forum! No one is better at mixing kindness with great advice. We all are enriched by her presence.

    Hope you are well, my friend plum.
    breakfree and plum like this.
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Ellen, you are my favourite favourite, and have been since your first post. I greatly appreciate your compliment however I have to say that you outstrip all of us on the kindness and advice front. Not only are you generous, you are also authentic. And you are sweet to me when I'm so fiery I'd fight my own shadow. It takes a big brave heart to love someone through their silliness. Thank you so much for being you and for being there for us all. xxxx
    Ellen and Boston Redsox like this.
  6. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    My pleasure. Honestly I think we all need to take a breather, sit on a grassy hill and take a moment to see how far we've come. The greatest distance we ever cover especially with tms is facing it down and taking the first psychological step. It ain't easy. Hence the fear and loathing. Have you read Ellen's fibromyalgia thread? It's bloody brilliant and the most-liked thread on the forum for good reason.

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-20-years-of-fibromyalgia-and-a-lifetime-of-migraines.7924/#post-43808 (Recovery from 20 years of fibromyalgia and a lifetime of migraines)

    Plum x
  7. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    Yes I've read Ellens thread. In fact I printed off her recovery tips and have them in my journal. It makes this journey so much easier (and so far it's been a bitch) than going it alone. The perpectives of others are extremely helpful to me which is surprising to me because I'm usually a bit of a loner.
    plum likes this.
  8. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yeah, I'm something of loner too. Some of that stems from years of people-pleasing but mostly it's because I'm a moody bitch. One of the great boons of all the tms-psychoarcheology is that I'm cool with this part of myself. I'm getting better at balancing the social with solitude.

    Very glad that Ellen's thread helps. When I discovered tms this forum didn't exist. There was another place where we all used to punch each other out. Then Forest rescued us from ourselves by creating this beautiful sanctuary.

    I think the healing journey sucks but healing itself is awesome. I've had some shining times and they give me the faith to hold on.
  9. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    I know how disappointing it can feel when you start to have some improvement and then the pain increases or moves somewhere else. Habitual thinking patterns can be challenging to change. Our thoughts are each and every moment, and so you can do really well for a long period of time and then poof, you fall back on what is easy and familiar and a chain reaction occurs. Many years ago, I spent a lot of money on Cognitive Behavior therapy to change my anxiety producing, worst case scenario, chronic thought patterns. I would wear rubber bands on my wrist and snap it each time I had a negative, self deprecating, worrisome thought. I just ended up beating myself up for not being able to change the way I think. I was just reflecting on how I eventually did it. How have I successfully managed to change my more damaging thinking patterns? And I think that rather than controlling or concretely changing the way I think, I have mastered the ability to redirect my thoughts. So when I notice that my thoughts are fear provoking, I choose to either think about something else, or I think some soothing thoughts. I often tell myself that I am okay, even if I do not feel okay. I reassure myself, I remind myself that I am a really good person and I am doing the best I can. I tell myself all kinds of things that I never used to say. I did not say them before because I was not positive they were true. In the past I tended to focus on the what if's, all of the things that could be wrong. The pain was constant verification that something was wrong. The more I convince myself that I am okay, the better I feel. The more I think about what is going on in my life outside of pain, and focus on how I feel without any negative editorializing, the less pain I feel. And when I do feel pain, I am not as likely to focus on it non stop and create a lot of fear around it. I don't expect to never have the kind of thoughts I used to have, but I am much more aware of when they come and much better about not running with them. 3 weeks is not a long time and you have already made a lot of progress. It will get better. Practice as much outcome independence as you can. It will get easier.
    Boston Redsox, breakfree and Ellen like this.
  10. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the reply. It's very helpful I have been starting to use affirmations (which up until now I thought were BS but willing to try after reading blog by Shad Helmstetter). Will re-read the post on outcome dependence again.
  11. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I am glad affirmations are working for never really did anything for me .... But remember do not hate your pain or the dr that could not help you ... Let go of all resentment and in time our pain will pass
  12. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I have the same issues when I have a flare and it always seems to be surrounded around bad weather which I know is just a trigger but that being said its a big coincidence

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