Headaches since childhood

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Yelrish

New Member
I don't have much doubt that I have TMS. I started having headaches when I was a child. My dad suffered from headaches and all three of my older sisters, too. My older brother and my mother dealt with eczema. When I was about 29, I had myself hospitalized to see if there was any organic reason for my headaches. I remember having a spinal tap, but I know there were quite a few other tests as well. They didn't find any physical reason for my headaches. I am 71 now, so that was about 1975. After that, I was referred to a psychologist, and over the years, I've spent a lot of time in counseling. It is particularly telling that in the late 80s, the counselor I was seeing had me stop taking anything for my headaches. And the number of headaches I had went way down. I'd have 1-3 really bad headaches per month, but a lot of days when I didn't have headaches. My bad headaches are migraines. I get nausea, don't want to eat, do anything, or talk to anyone. I just hole up for the whole time and seriously want to die. Back in the 90s, I went to see a psychologist who did biofeedback. I specifically wanted to work with that, but he put me on an anti-depressant. Since that time, I've been on various medications and seeing neurologists. Now I take 2 anti-depressants plus other things. I want to get off the meds really badly, but every time I try, the headaches come back with a vengeance. I think it was last February when I read about Dr. John Sarno. I bought his book, "The Mindbody Connection," and also Steve Ozanich's "The Great Pain Deception." I've been listening to YouTube presentations a lot, including Ted Talks. I love this resource. I don't have any trouble believing that my headaches are TMS and I have been feeling better lately, but I know I have a long way to go. I've also been practicing meditation for the last three years. I had a terrible childhood so it isn't hard for me to figure out that my brain is trying to protect me from the feelings that come out of that. The last counselor that I saw really helped me deal with the childhood stuff. I get stressed over things, too. I also journal and I know that really helps me a lot.
 
Welcome to the forum, Yelrish! We have a wonderfully supportive community here - so you have certainly come to the right place! You might be interested in Alan Gordon's new Pain Recovery Program (it's at the top of every page) which he has very generously donated to tmswiki.org.

I discovered Dr. Sarno at age 60 - not that much younger than you - and I got my life back (feel free to read my profile). This is great stuff.

Wishing you all the best,

~Jan
 
Thanks, Jan ... I did read your profile. Can see you've come a long way! I I did do the first installment of Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program today and plan to continue. I am finally at a place where I can really see some progress.
 
Here I am 6 months later. I can't believe I haven't posted in all this time, but I have definitely been focused on my TMS problem. On Halloween Day of 2017, I went in and had an upper endoscopy because I was having symptoms of acid reflux/GERD. They found that I had 2 ulcers which were believed to be caused by my terrible, almost lifelong habit of taking Excedrin. Over many years, I have struggled to get off the Excedrin and believed that I could, only to go back to it over and over again. With having a chronic-daily-headache problem, that meant taking Excedrin most days of the month. Since that diagnosis, I have only taken Excedrin one time, so I am very thankful to say that I have finally stopped that awful habit. Now I'm allowed to take Tylenol, but find I'm not taking much. I really believed in Excedrin and I think that is part of the TMS thing. When I was growing up, my dad always used Anacin for his headaches. Anacin is the same formulation as Excedrin except for the acetaminophen.

I believe it was in December of 2017, I started trying to wean myself off of Impramine (an antidepressant prescribed for my migraine) that I've been taking for about 20 years. I am completely off of it now. I noticed a lot of stress and depression during and after weaning myself from this drug. These factors ... along with the headaches coming roaring back ... I believe, are reasons why I always went back to taking the Imipramine. Another medication that I've been on for years ... Nadolol (used for controlling high blood pressure, which I don't have, but it was prescribed for my migraine) ... I'm using 1/2 tablet per day and ready to go to every other day. I AM doing this weaning off of my medications under the direction of my neurologist.

In January, 2018, I had 27 out of 31 days headache-free; in February, 25 out of 28 days headache-free, and in March, 27 out of 31 days headache-free. This is huge for me!

I have another medication that I want to wean myself from and that is Bupropion (generic for Wellbutrin). Since we are planning a vacation later this month, I plan to wait until we return from that.

Meditation has really been helping me a lot. When I feel a headache coming on, I am almost always able to get it to go away by meditating. Now this new development is occurring ... I am waking up during the night with headaches coming on, and often I'll wake up with one. I still count my days as headache-free ... if I don't take any abortive medication (tylenol and/or sumatriptan) for it and am able to get it to go away with meditation. The whole thing of getting the headaches coming on during the night is very frustrating to me. It makes me think that the pain is coming out of my subconscious ... the TMS.

I am listening to a lot of podcasts about TMS these days and have been working on Dr. David Schechter's Mindbody Workbook. I am so obsessive about it that it takes me 2-3 days to do one day of journaling.
 
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Wonderful news! You are doing so well. Sharing your story gives hope to others. Thank you for updating your journey. I'm sure it feels good to write something so positive about your experience with TMS.
 
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