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Headache Replacing grief

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by ellie freegan, Oct 31, 2015.

  1. ellie freegan

    ellie freegan Peer Supporter

    A friend died last night but instead of feeling much sadness I have a terrible headache. I am consoled by the fact that she was very unhappy and she is now nolonger suffering. However I would like to feel grief instead of a headache but I'm not managing to do so. Anyone have any tips. Thank you so much everyone for your support in answering all my other posts so far it's much appreciated.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Ellie. You may have a delayed reaction to your friend's death. Or I think the headache is how your mind wants to react.

    I was surprised myself when a few years ago I learned of the death of one of my very best friends. He had lived far away and I had not seen him
    in years. We emailed each other a lot. I still miss him. We were like brothers. But I knew he was in great pain for years, so I too think it was best that he was finally out of his suffering.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Ellie, someone else in our TMS community, Kevin, posted this today about the death of a dear friend and how he is dealing with it. It might also help you.

    Hello community,

    I just wanted to share about my recent experience. I'm 4+ months post SEP (Structured Educational Program, located here on this site) and have been 100% since finishing it. About two weeks ago I received the call that a dear friend of 20+ years suddenly died. I flew back home to Seattle for two wakes (one private, one public... he was a popular guy), and not once did my back issues return. I have been grieving, and experiencing all sorts of emotions, but I've present and open to feeling them, which is why I believe I haven't had a pain relapse. I learned how to do these things by working the SEP, participating in this community, and being active in my recovery. I am so grateful for the ability to confront difficult emotions..... before all of this, I would have ran and hid from the pain. I can face it now. It hurts, but better now than later once it's festered and become so toxic that my body reacts.

    Anyhow, I just wanted to to put that out there because it's been something like my first life "test" since I recovered. Death is part of life, and there will be more, but I'm grateful that I learned a healthy way to experience it.

    That's all for now.


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