got a new job, but I'm scared

hello! well I have an herniated disc that i have successfully heal with meditation and trusting tms 100%(reading books) but right now i have a new fear. i went back to the gym and im active again, which makes me super happy, but my new job MIGHT actually require me to be in the merchandizing department (lifting package that weights 25 pounds) and im scared because i might get worse. heres the thing, for some reason i can bench press, barbell row, deadlift, squat at the gym (pretty heavy) but im scared of this job because its a constant lifting stuff for 3-4 hours. I shouldn't be scared because i believe 100% in tms and I KNOW herniated disc does not cause pain (trust me i know ). Lastly, It's not 100% sure im going to be merchandizing because EVERYONE starts in the front (cashier, saleing and such) and depending on how you work its where they put you. but during out training one of our staff members ask us if we knew how to lift a package and I admit i said i know how to and demonstrate it and because of the demonstration I did im in constant anxiety because they might had said "wow, well he's going to be a merchandizer for sure" when in reality we all start saleing before anything else. what do you guys think?

I'm trying to just go with the flow, be present and do my best with being first a sale associate and if it happens that i go to merchandizing I will just say to myself "I'm not scared, im healthy and nothing will happen to me". I'm trying to be possitive.

 

Hi stevow, and congratulations on your successes!

Question: did you do the Structured Educational Program (SEP) on the main tmswiki.org? The SEP teaches you how to make lists and to write about the things that are concerning you, or about anything that is bothering you - from little everyday annoyances to the big emotional issues that your brain is trying to repress. The goal of these exercises is to uncover the stuff that your brain thinks is too dangerous to acknowledge.

Here's the thing - I'm guessing that you probably have other concerns and fears about the job that are a little deeper and more emotional than just lifting merchandise. It's not hard for me to guess this, because this is the thing we all have in common.

Your brain doesn't want you looking at these deeper emotional issues, so it's trying to focus your attention on your fears about your back - by doing that, you are staying alert for danger, instead of wallowing around in subconscious emotional issues.

Start by making a free-writing list of concerns. Just start writing stuff down as it pops into your brain, even if your brain tries to tell you that something is not relevant or important. Believe me - those are the things that you DO need to look at. Then look at them, and write about them. Write a letter to yourself, or write an "unsent" letter to someone else that you wish would hear what you have to say to them. By bringing some of this other stuff out in the open, you'll be able to put aside your physical fears.

Finally - on a purely practical note, I think it's awesome that you spoke up and offered your knowledge about how to lift correctly. You can help teach others how to do that, but the managers would be stupid to have you spending your time shifting merchandise when your initiative will be much more useful up front. Don't you think?

Good luck,
~Jan