So I have been putting off posting for awhile. It seems like I have had trouble starting certain things and I don’t know why. For example, I had been playing basketball a lot but then I had real injuries to both my ankle and my hand and had to stop for about 3 months. Ever since, I have been very hesitant to return to athletics. Anyway, it seems like things have been worse ever since I bought into the TMS idea about 15 months ago. Ever since I have had an incredible sense of sadness every now and then like I want to cry but I can never actually cry. It is particularly strong when I read others’ success stories. I had a ton of symptom imperative (my hip, and then my knees where I couldn’t walk for a few days) after initially starting physical activity a little over a yea rago. There have been a few times where my symptoms have seemed to subside and I think that healing is around the corner but then they come back stronger than ever. Overall, I would say that physically I am feeling worse than when I first discovered TMS. Brief history, it started with tingling and constant headaches after a couple of concussions. Then I had tingling/numbness/weird nerve sensations in my feet. That crept to my lower back. Then I had a couple “incidents” that triggered it full on. Terrible back pain and the nerve feelings in my feet being unbearable. Everything had been stable for about 5 months until mid-February. I had this constant pain in my hip that had been there for months and I couldn’t remember how it started. I had something much worse on my other side and it left after a week when I accepted it was TMS. I just wasn’t having the same luck. I tried doing some stretches which I wasn’t worried about in the least. However, afterward I had a new terrible nerve pain in the back of my upper legs. The pain in my feet also returned full force. Last week I noticed that the pain in the back of the legs hadn’t been there for awhile and as soon as I thought that, it came back and now all my symptoms have come back stronger than ever. I have back pain again, lower back and a particular tightness right in the very middle of my back that I can only feel when I bend over. I hadn’t had any back pain or butt pain in months and my feet had been manageable. Now because the pain is so much, my focus is starting to get back on the pain when it had taken me so long to stop thinking about it all the time. I have pain in my back, butt, and weird nerve sensations/pain all the way down the back of my legs to my feet. Sometimes my feet feel like there are claws inside. Now any kind of movement sets off some new symptoms. This is beginning to shake my confidence in the TMS diagnosis. I don’t know what is wrong and why I can’t seem to get any better. Sometimes I feel like I will always be stuck like this and won’t get back to any kind of normal. I have identified all my stressors and notice that symptoms increase with certain stressors. Some people say it's what you don't recognize but I have gone through everything in my life and there is literally nothing left that I haven't identified. I've also noticed that I have been a lot angrier since I have delved into TMS. There's a lot of things that anger me and many I feel helpless about. What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do?