So here I am, two weeks after reading Dr. Sarno’s “Healing Back Pain” and about a week out since listening to “The Divided Mind”. And to my surprise, the pains in my back I am experiencing have gotten much worse, not better. I am 99% sure that I do have TMS despite a "successful" disk surgery (herniated disk) about 3 ½ years ago. I am now a 40 year old man and continued to have odd problems since that surgery with pain that has “moved around” my hip, calf, right side, left side, etc. I have seen the standard myriad of doctors (physiatrist, acupuncturist, pain doctor, sports medicine doctor, chiropractor, multiple physical therapists, etc). Even before the back surgery in my late teens I have exhibited many other symptoms of TMS like G-reflux, tinnitus, asthma, allergies, burning mount syndrome, panic attacks, just to name a few. So you can see, I am 99% accepting of TMS and would be 100% all in if I probably had known about this syndrome 20 years ago. I was diagnosed with OCD in my early 20s and my current primary care physician has not ruled out being bi-polar as both my father and younger sister have both been affected by manic depression. I have made the decision to see a psychologist. This week I will see him; first time I will have seen a psychologist since the loss of a child about 8 years ago. (Yeah, I know this is starting to sound worse and worse). In addition I have a lot of baggage I’ve been carrying around since childhood. I’d say I’m probably in that 20% Dr. Sarno references about needing psychological help. If there was a “Poster Child” for TMS I may make the cover. My biggest question: Can any of you recall actually getting worse, before getting better once accepting TMS as the diagnosis? The pain I am experiencing now is very reminiscent of the herniated disk I had before surgery. It is a little different as it seems to affect both sides of my body where the latter affected primarily my right side. I also don't have the huge burst of pain upon standing after sitting that I swear was in my soul before surgery. I take this as a good sign because TMS “moves around”. I now am wondering two things of why the pain may be getting worse. Is it: 1) Because this time I have accepted that TMS is the problem I have really been thinking about my psychological state and all the internal rage I have. Could I be getting closer and closer to the real problem and my subconscious doesn’t like it? So, it’s giving my all the pain it can so I don’t reveal the true devil. Or is it: 2) My obsessive tendencies of trying to figure out where my psychological rage is actually from is causing me to internalize or think about this too much. I simply need to accept that the problem is all in my subconscious and ignore it or as the great Elsa said, "Let it Go, Let it Go". (Any of you with small children, should get that.) So, I need to focus on my life and simply knowing that no long term damage is being done, hence this should aid in my healing. I have resumed normal physical activity and I don’t worry about my back. Well, I do worry about it but I now know and tell myself constantly, this is not going to hurt me, I’m strong. There is nothing physically wrong with me with the exception of oxygen deprived nerves, muscles, tendons, ligaments, etc. Let me clear something up, when I say I have resumed physical activity that doesn't mean for the last 3 1/2 years I've simply laid in bed or on the couch. I have always continued to run from time to time (although not competitively any more), work quite hard, wrestle with my kids, play sports with my kids, do yard-work and a host of other things. Heck, I want to stay very busy. I now have just recently realized I don't need to be so scared of doing those things like before. Sorry for the long post but don’t know how anyone could really answer my "quick question" without a little bit of history first.