Have journalled loads, discovered lots of anger. Pain continues often stronger than ever. Yesterday managed to tell partner of 30 years some of my truth and felt better to have done it. Partner as so often chose not or was unable to respond. However, has been nicer to me and talking to me more since. Breaks my heart as he is still closed but sort of more focused on keeping me happy. This morning I thanked him for his kindness and explained that this couldn't be a substitute for real feeling connection. Silence again and a hurt look. I cried in private later. Feels almost too big to handle - even as I sense that I'm on the right track. I know that Dr Sarno suggested that emotional awareness is key, but awareness makes me realise that the status quo in my relationship is not ok. Thank you to this forum- I'm finding everything in this programme a great support.