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Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by hopethishelps, Sep 23, 2019.

  1. hopethishelps

    hopethishelps New Member

    Hello all

    I need your advice. I went through this program and it did wonders for me. I had not felt as at ease and comfortable in my own skin for quite some time.

    weeks went by after finishing it and some days I still had some minor symptoms typical stiffness in some muscles or aches. They went away

    then a couple weeks later I had a big flare up. I tried thinking psychologically and sensing how I felt yet I was unable to find the real source for my sudden change in uptight-ness....

    I have also recently been having more problems educating our 3 yeR old and this has caused a lot of uncomfortable moments between my wife and me since sometimes we do not see eye to eye.... and it brings me stress tons of it

    even my daughter now I believe has TMS and she is only 3 years old. I feel super responsible for her. I believe I caused her TMS. She is very insecure and constantly wanting to control everyone and everything around her which in turn brings her a lot of frustration and thus is constantly getting colds, cough problems and allergies...

    i wish I could feel more secure and relaxed so that in turn my daughter could sense this and such be relaxed and wouldn’t want to control and always be like in defensive or survival mode which I sometime sense she is in....

    please any words of advice or articles or videos or info you could share with me will be very much appreciated
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Kinda answered your own question there!!! Most of us usually do. Sometimes the truth is so simple that we haven't had the stomach to look at it for a long time. Sarno said that whenever an attack seemed to come out of 'Nowhere' to look very close. That is; family, Partner, best friend....

    Childrearing is the most contentious thing most couples argue over. It may even be more touchy than Money. That story of yours is loaded with so much repressed rage... I know... I was married for 20 years and it was probably our biggest continual disagreement.

    Hidden in there is 'wow...this person is an idiot' right along side of 'oh my God, I might have made a mistake getting married... I don't agree with this person at all'. Those are both so scary, we get pain instead. Toss in some anger at your 3 year old and you have a perfect storm for TMS.... all unacceptable scary shameful embarrassing stuff that needs to be shoved down deep..
    srilankamama, plum and ssxl4000 like this.
  3. ssxl4000

    ssxl4000 Well known member

    Not much to add from Baseball65's great response...just one thing. My daughter seems to pick up on my stress and emotions in general. So, definitely, they more calm and care free you can be around her will probably help her. I know that's easier said than done, but it's something to consciously think about frequently to help you progress. The best advice I ever got from a therapist regarding kids is to "always validate their feelings." So we talk a lot in my house about how it's okay to be sad or angry or scared sometimes, etc. Problem is we have to practice what we preach, and make sure we act calm and accepting of our own anger, fear, etc.
    plum likes this.

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