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From SteveO's "10 Book" :

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Tennis Tom, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you both for your kinds words....yes loneliness is my key fuel of tms pain it took me a longtime to figure this one out, my sadness his really consuming me also ...Eileen good idea about volunteering soemwhere will look in to that..

    Hi Deb

    longtime hope all is well ...it been a real tough road alot of emotions have been coming out of late...but my brother leaving is a big one finally got divorced finalized and done baby steps ...but my pain as escalated to all time high REAL BAD..
  2. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Sorry to hear this. It will take time to adjust to your brother moving. I hope you can visit him soon.

    I like when Steve O says to look at your situation like you are already better because there is nothing wrong with you- physically that is!

    Better times ahead my friend..
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    It's been brutal my TMS Dr sees I am really getting mentally unhinged and wants to put me on Cymbalta to take the edge off ...my pain level is threw the roof and everyday I can't take it anymore a human being only as so much resolve I been dealing for 7 years with no improvement...but with that said I know it tms and I know my loneliness and fear are the ones that cause it all..even though I am changing they way I am reacting to these events I am running out of patients and energy..

    I ignored it yelled talked journaled mediated ( that's was a was of time).. went on with my day did all the tms road work and still nothing went in for another round of test nothing...fainted and went to hospital where I lost my voice for 24 hrs and I said ahaha you over played your hand ....did all test there MRI cat scan you name it ...all clean . I figured I had it on the run a week or so later I have been in crippling pain for the last month..

    I am reading tontake anything to shut this cycle down and regroup and advice out there would be helpful
  4. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Marco I really feel for you. I am glad you are seeking help because doing this alone would be difficult. Maybe you are trying too hard to get better. As Steve O says we have to have lightness in our heart, a more carefree attitude, and I don't think you have reached that point yet. Letting go of the anger towards your wife would be a big step in the right direction. My father uses a lot of different sayings and I believe them. Sayings like - let go, live and let live, acceptance.....

    There will be better days ahead. Oh, and maybe Cymbalta might not be a bad idea for awhile....
    Tennis Tom and Ellen like this.
  5. ThatBookBlewMyMind

    ThatBookBlewMyMind New Member

    I am spotting signs that i am not ready to heal, is there a way to become ready to heal or speed up process?
  6. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Another sign of not being ready to heal is to want to speed up the process.

    Healing is something that is understood, it isn't a destination, or time. Everyone with TMS is already healed, but the drivers of the needs are still in place that generate the sensations. bangheada ...and the vicious cycle continues.
    Celayne and ThatBookBlewMyMind like this.
  7. browndogisinthehouse

    browndogisinthehouse Peer Supporter

    I understand the point of not trying to speed up the process of healing but if one is under financial stress and bedridden what is one supposed to do? This issue has not been addressed in any of the books of material that I have read so far and that is why asking about it I hope it is ok. Thanks
  8. AC45

    AC45 Well known member

    Hi All -

    Thanks for such a great thread. I'd like to add a personal story.

    My issues were/are anxiety, hip pain, knee pain, carpal tunnel/RSI and plantar fasciitis.

    I feel much better after 14 months of work. I improved 80% after a few months but that was not enough.

    I read The Divided Mind and followed all of the recovery protocols. The journaling helped reduce my symptoms but I felt alone with a book and a self diagnosis.

    I went to a TMS MD, saw a psyotherpaist for a while and then moved to a TMS therapist.

    Brene Brown says we are built for connection. I do love my kids and my husband. They are not experiencing TMS. I am. This forum has been very helpful for me.

    Maybe I feel lonely with my TMS but not so much with my kiddos and sweetie. I find value in the TMS connection.

    The big things I have gotten out of the forum have been:

    1. Links to great books and resources. Sarno's book was a good start but skills such as mindfulness mediation, self compassion and other tools have helped me lead a "recovery lifestyle".

    2. The people in this forum provide guidance and inspiration. I think it is a good thing to be connected.

    3. For me, healing from TMS isn't a one time thing. It is a daily practice that includes "radical" self care (I read that term somewhere and I liked it).

    4. I am deeply grateful to those to participate in this forum. I have a lot of skin in the game. I also appreciate this tool in my toolbox.

    Thanks for being such a great community.

    Celayne likes this.
  9. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

  10. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    Gah. Having a bad technology day. My post was not supposed to be a quote from Steve.

    Steve, I agree and value your post on signs that someone is not ready to be healed. The only thing I want to say about it is in your paragraph about people only wanting to get free help, when you say they post things on forums that is easily found in books or elsewhere, sometimes people (like me) just want to start a discussion about that topic. (Run-on sentences much? ;)) The biggest help I've found is chatting with others who are going through, or have gone through, the same things. So I've posted a couple probably no-brainer type questions for that reason.

    I feel that I'm more than ready, at least 90% or more of me is, so not trying to abuse the system or get something for nothing. Just chatting.

    Thanks for your work. I'm reading The Great Pain Deception right now. It's so helpful as I navigate this weird little demon of a syndrome.
  11. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Please don't misunderstand. I never said that people who want free help don't want to heal.

    Also, forums are designed for just this, to discuss with other people, some who have gone through what you are going through. These are good steps, especially for support. But you have to be careful what you believe and don't believe. There is poor advice handed out often that most take as gospel because someone said it in a forum. Be aware: causes and effects are often spuriously entangled with little meaning, or even harmful affects.

    The key word is only. They want free help "only." I've tried to help countless people since 2000, and many are often people with great jobs, both husband and wife working, millionaires, and even a couple multi-billionaires. These are often the people who will not pay for help. They ask questions of those of us doing this work everyday, repeatedly, of which the answers are everywhere--draining us of time and energy--as long as it's free. It has to do with the deeper causes of TMS and ill-health, the diversion of deep fears through obsession (and on occasion "malignant narcissism"). In this case, obsession on keeping money even at the cost of good health. It's often due to having once been very poor, and the residual fear that remains. It's also evident through observation that those who pay do far better, or as the maxim states "having skin in the game." Those who are more invested in themselves tend to listen better, focus more, and are more persistent. Matthew 13:44

    Some of the TMS docs and psychs also have seen these tendencies. Dr. Gwozdz had an interesting experience with the pay-phenomenon as well.

    Those who truly can't afford help I try to help. Healing should be for everyone, not just the wealthy. The name of the game is compassion. But it cuts both ways; compassion a 2-way street. It becomes more and more difficult to answer everyone as the good doctor's work spreads throughout the world. But I certainly hope it continues....

    MWsunin12, AC45 and Tennis Tom like this.
  12. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    But you have to be careful what you believe and don't believe. There is poor advice handed out often that most take as gospel because someone said it in a forum. Be aware: causes and effects are often spuriously entangled with little meaning, or even harmful affects.

    Are you saying that not everything on the internet is true? Geez.

    Seriously, I do understand what you are saying. And you're right. When I read your words I jumped to conclusions a bit, probably because I had an experience a few years ago on a dog forum, maybe it was a Facebook page, whatever. My dog had suddenly become very lethargic over the course of a few hours. I was concerned, it was a Saturday and I didn't want to take her in to the emergency vet if I didn't have to. She was an 85 pound German shepherd, fearful and sometimes aggressive because of her fears. I didn't want to subject either her or the emergency staff to the rough experience of dealing with strangers if I didn't need to.

    I described on that page what her symptoms were and asked what people thought. Right away a man jumped in and said he was sick of people who just wanted free advice because they were too cheap to pay vet fees, and how did they think they could care for a dog if they didn't want to spend any money, blah blah blah. So maybe I'm oversensitive about this particular topic.

    It's sad about the people wanting to save their money at the expense of good health. Especially if it would be a small expenditure compared to what they have. So many people (including me) with TMS have spent/wasted so much money trying to find answers about what is going on with their (my) health. If I could have paid my way out of TMS, I surely would have done that!
  13. AC45

    AC45 Well known member

    Hi Steve,

    Thanks for the great follow up! This makes a lot of sense. This community is grateful for all of your contributions.

    I agree that respect is a two way street and I consider my payments to my TMS doc and therapist well worth it.

    To keep communities / ideas / healing going, we need to support our professionals. Thanks again for all that you do. Maybe we'll chat one day ;).

  14. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    The problem is insurance, if your employer pays your insurance then when you have to go into pocket to pay a TMS physician or practitioner it hurts. But when you add up what chronic pain costs in loss of ones living life paying a TMS savvy practitioner is a pittance. Most of us have spent thousands of dollars and hours wasted on useless woo-woo's, voo-doos, gizmos and snake-oyls, that have done nothing to relieve the pain or only very temporarily in the form of a placebo. When your employer or the gov pays for your "health-care", you are paying for it alright, it just doesn't seem like it because it's not coming directly out of your pocket. Paying a TMS physician $600 or so for an work-up and an objective opinion, or $150 an hour for a dozen or less therapy sessions to a TMS therapist or counselor or coach is money well spent in the long or short run to get your life back--the TMS gremlin maybe playing it's dirty tricks from your sub-conscious not letting you see the economics of paying for TMS care that will actually work.
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2017
    AC45 likes this.
  15. AC45

    AC45 Well known member

    Well said @Tennis Tom . I have insurance but my TMS practitioners don't take it. It is still money well spent.
  16. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    I have insurance but it hardly pays for anything, even standard Western medicine. No way TMS practitioners are covered. But it will be worth it to pay out of pocket.
  17. karinabrown

    karinabrown Well known member

    Interesting conversation here.

    I believe that checking in on forums and also keeping searching is a need in someone.(and in me) If it is loneless'' i am not sure, but is looking for some "gap"that needs/wants tot be filled
    i turned to a hypnotherapist last week for a intake who is totally on board with the tms approach..
    she aked me "what i expect"and i told here that i think it is all inside of me allready (the tools) : but need some help on finding the last piece of the puzzle
    and i believe that. I think i am shifting the last couple of months finally intoo thinkin of my self as " a person who's needs to be healed"
    to " a person who still has pain, but is doing better and living a better life" somehow i fixed my life more and hope that my body will follow completely, that's my hope for the future
    and reading tms books and reading here on the wiki has brought on these changes and giving me hope
  18. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I have a tms Dr and he takes insurance . I have paid for numerous tms sessions with Alan Gordon team and still no help...maybe i am just not ready to heal yet as Steve O says..
  19. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I have a tms Dr and he takes insurance . I have paid for numerous tms sessions with Alan Gordon team and still no help...maybe i am just not ready to heal yet as Steve O says..
  20. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    I don't feel like it is loneliness that has made me want to be part of this forum. It's more that it is so relieving to be able to know others have similar experiences and that many have been healed already. That may be loneliness of a type, though, because literally no one in my life understands TMS.
    AC45 likes this.

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