Day 18 Frequent Emotions

[BamBam]

The most frequent emotions that show up in my journaling are fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. I feel fearful that the pain is never going to go away or that it's going to come back or get worse. I feel fearful about paying rent. I feel fearful about being abandoned. I feel fearful about not being good enough. All that fear will eventually lead to me feeling anxious about these same things. Nothing like sitting in your living room staring at the ceiling worrying about all this stuff. I feel angry at myself for worrying and I feel angry that I don't have enough money or that I feel alone. I feel sad that TMS is such a struggle sometimes and I feel sad when I think I'm moving forward and then I seem to take 2 steps back. At anytime I feel that there all these layers of emotions happening at the same time.

 

[mrk591]

Bambam,
I'm not sure if it helps but you are not alone in feeling those emotions. Your description so easily could have been about myself. Pain can be so isolating but there are lots of people like us. I really think it will get better though, just keep up the good work.

 

[Gigi]

Hey Bambam. I think your post could have been written by any of us on the forum, at one point or another in our journeys. I would venture to say that fear and anger are the two primary drivers of TMS. And yes, it's quite common to take two steps forward, then one back.
The good news is that you've found your way to the wiki and the SEP, and that you've made some progress. Recovery is attainable! Hang in there!

 

[Janine28]

Hi BamBam,
I am on day 18 too and went through my journal, identifying many of the same emotions: fear, anxiety, anger and sadness. I can very much relate to your post. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences... you've inspired me to post about this as well! Take good care of yourself.

 

[mncjl123]

I also can relate. those are mine as well. but it is a cycle. when you are in pain, it cause those emotions! I hope to get off the roller coaster too. thanks for writing what you did.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, BamBam. I'm 86. healed from sever back pain by believing in TMS and doing the SEProgram, but know about fear and theotherthings you posted about. I fear about not having enough money to pay the mortgage on my small ranch house I have with my darling dog. But someone I get through each month's bills. Sometimes I borrow from friends who are very helpful. I still work, online, but most months still struggle.

As for pain, it can come and go as we try to deal with daily emotional stresses. Believe me, the SEProgram works. Believe in it and TMS 100 percent and you will heal. The other good people who have replied to you show that you are not alone. The TMS community on this web site is very caring and helpful. Keep meditating, deep breathing, and visualize yourself already healed and happy, living in the sunshine of life.

 

[Sean]

BamBam, I echo the others and u...especially the fear and anger...pain brings it all back in intensity and it is a vicious cycle...I find identifying triggers could be the answer for me...sometimes I feel like for some reason they all picked this time in my life to surface together...I guess if the issues go on for long enough the effect accumulates...like a trigger/repression crescendo...