Free from pain forever

"I Can not deal with my emotions" is a form of self-victimization. It's a fear of feeling them. To learn to be at peace with our emotions.
It is hard to love others unconditionally when we find it difficult to love and accept ourself unconditionally. Loving ourselves makes us more satisfied with our lives, and might lead to more internal peace and happiness.

 

What causes pain, anxiety, depression, cancer, and all other chronic diseases are RUTs - repetitive, unwanted, thoughts. How do you control them if you are alone? Or if you are retired, or if you don't have your mind occupied? It's impossible. Even if you know they aren't true. The problem is that your stupid brain floods you, non-stop, with these negative thoughts, maybe because, in the end, you really have to die, it's everyone destiny. If you don't die of an accident, your brain/mind will kill you in the end. Yes, I've called it stupid. You live in a constant battle against your brain. Who says otherwise, is because they are emerged in writing a book, or other activity, that prevents them from having theses negative thoughts. I mean, it is just a matter of time, until your brain starts to control you again. It is really frustrating. You shouldn't have to fight yourself. I really don't have this romantic idea about the human condition. Your brain is your worst enemy. That's a fact.

And how can I love myself, or my brain, if he is constantly undermined me, with fear, doubt, loneliness thoughts, nostalgic thoughts, painful memories, etc? If you start thinking about pain now, it is guaranteed that you will feel pain... 200% Sure. Of course, if you let those thoughts pass through you, you stop feeding discomfort.

I'm sorry, I'm not having a good day. But I'm so tiered of the burden of having to constantly fight the changes in life, and need to maintain a positive attitude, although life doesn't makes any sense. I mean what's the point? Watching my mother's decay, it's is really affecting me. You build, but in the end, you will lose everything. I feel a lot of rage. Rage is pain

I feel rage because I'm alone, I feel rage because I'm losing my teeth, I feel rage because I had to abandon all my dreams, I feel rage because I have to pay unfair taxes, I feel rage because my country is being sold to rich foreigns, and digital nomads, which made houses prices raise 180% in 5 years, I feel rage because big pharma is putting everyone sick, and getting loads of profit, doing so, I feel rage because my country is spending a lot of money buying weapons to the USA, Germany, and France, so they can maintain wars, and nothing will change, despite my hanger. How can one ignore the external world? Maybe that's where the cure lies. If that is, What is the purpose of the external world? To tease us?

 

I get you Filipe. Hard not to look at the state of the world and not feel the weight and let it impact us. Combine that with our own personal problems, yeah it’s tough.

you’re allowed to have off days and off moments, give yourself some grace.

it is possible to combat the thoughts that are fueling despair but it does require consistent effort. I’ve found non guided spiritual meditation helpful. Belief in something bigger than ourselves, bigger than just this shitty physical reality filled with seemingly endless horrors. I think it’s important to think there is some more out there, to put something above ourselves.

I’m sorry for what you’re going through and hope there are better days ahead, for all of us.

 

It's been like this forever and it will continue to be like this for a loooong time. Why bother with stuff that you can't change? You don't have to carry all these on your shoulders, you know...

Take care of yourself.

 

Thanks for replying. I sometimes wonder what is the purpose of the external world, If all you should focus on would be the way you react to it? Shou we all be blind? You see beautiful women, dream jobs, expensive cars, no wonder you feel frustrated/in anger about your miserable life. It's like life rewards only the bad guys, and the ones that are selfish, and deceive others.

I'm alone, but the women I meet Daly are either traumatized by their exes, so there is always loads of drama, the other ones look at you in away, like they are always thinking, "can I get better?" Modern dating apps allowed them to think that way, "next!". Nobody bothers to invest in you, or to build something with you after a certain age. The younger girls are super futile. Most of them are just looking for a sugar daddy, or a career opportunity.

I feel disappointed with life. Sometimes I just think about go living in the mountains, like an hermit.

Technology is making everything and everyone the same. There will be a time when it would be impossible to hide from big tech influence in behaviours.

 

Unfortunately women have been dealt a shitty hand throughout history, and there are shitty and good people of all genders. I think we can have had a bad few experiences and then generalize large swaths of the population based on those experiences. Not all women are looking for something better or new at every turn.

What you are describing is one of the core principles of Buddhism which is the general dissatisfaction inherent to this physical life. And lots of peoples’ answers to this dissatisfaction is craving for physical things (sex, cars, houses, appearances, health, etc), but we are never satisfied and our craving and dissatisfaction grows. Recognizing this loop is a good first step, and something I try to work on but it’s a struggle.

 

Feminism brought more divorced. Devide and conquer. I know a lot of guys like me, that are alone, simply because women are always looking for better. The status quo. And today, dating apps allow it. Well most men are in those apps just to have sex.

What I mean is that 15, 20 years ago it was impossible for a guy like me to be alone. Before Facebook, Instagram, and such. Women would never change the company of a men, for a cat. We all live perfect life's on social media. It's dead easy to block someone on social media. I've been block with no apparent reason several times, and although it doesn't make sense, it wears you down. Ghosting is also very popular.

No wonder people feel alone, maybe is not a matter of gender, but women still think they have to prove something to this sick society, and no wonder most of the chronic pain, and autoimune diseases are from women.

 

@Filipe2025 Your post is sexist because it wrongly blames feminism and women as a group for men’s loneliness, divorce, and relationship struggles, ignoring data and shared experiences. Feminism didn’t cause more divorces — for instance, UK rates have actually fallen to their lowest since 1971, down 30% from 2021 to 2022, partly because it’s helped marriages by promoting equality like men sharing more housework.

Dating apps and social media amplify ghosting and blocking for everyone — studies show women use ghosting more, but men report high burnout and loneliness too, with apps declining 16% in UK users recently as people disengage.

Men like you feeling alone is real and valid, but pinning it on women “always looking for better” or choosing cats over partners dismisses how both genders navigate a broken system.

 

yeah, gonna disagree Filipe, feminism has been a much needed historical course correction. Why should someone be a second class citizen because of how they’re born?

get off social media, get off dating apps, go volunteer somewhere, hell get off the internet if you can this shit (not this site lol) is absolute poison.

If you are this unfulfilled, a relationship will not fulfill you.

Many men are completely broken. I’m completely emotionally and socially stunted, my first relationship was at 28. I imploded that and broke someone’s heart because of my aforementioned issues. I put too much faith that a relationship would be the thing to fix me, the thing that would fulfill me. I wasn’t an abuser or a cheater or sex obsessed, just broken and avoidant. Women take a tremendous gamble putting themselves at the risk of men who run the gamut of being like me or worse-abusive monsters. I understand their desire for agency and freedom and breaks from conventional ways of living and dating.

the patriarchy impacts not only women but us too. What do you think the reason is for our emotional repression and subsequent chronic pain?

women have unquestionably dealt with more health issues throughout history. Not as a result of feminism.

 

It's what I found constantly. Women that get divorced, just to feel miserable later, living with cats. I think there's this agenda to destroy marriage, and couples. Im only talking about what I see. Men looking for company, and women wanting to be alone. Apps give the false sensation that you can find better, just because the way you market yourself. I got tiered of acting. And that what women don't like about me. They want to believe that the right guy, will be there, a doctor with a brilliant career, etc.

If you use the apps, you will see..some women's post photos like they are doing a fashion catalogue. I image that some men do the same, but we all know that woman are usually more prone to be cheated by false "airliners pilots". In Portuguese we say "ir na canção do bandido". Anda with AI, social media allows it. When they see a simple guy like me their Hollywood dream vanishes..

 

They can't accept their femininity anymore...that's it. If a war starts now and all the men get drafted and die...all the lonely women will still have their cats. Men will have...a grave. Maybe.

Talk about patriarchy...

 

Women feel the need to prove they are as good as men, that's why they get sick more often. They don't allow themselves to be vulnerable. On the other hand, they hate vulnerable men

 

Yes, and what you 'see' and are expressing is your own sweeping, sexist take on things.

Suggest you take @Rabscuttle's advice and go volunteer somewhere -- help some people worse off than yourself.

 

this isn’t remotely true. You’re judging an entire gender off what, dating apps and some real life encounters? Filipe you’re projecting your dissatisfaction with life onto people who aren’t responsible for it.

 

They are as good as men. It depends on the IQ and other factors.

 

Don't label me. That's a form of dictatorship. You should feel free to say what you think...

Women are obsessed with empowerment. Who would be the women that want a truck driver as is husband nowadays? Today, most young women think they will be the lover of a famous soccer player, like Cristiano Ronaldo, etc, because social media sell us that.

I'v been fooled by Hollywood where the gorgeous beautiful women would end with the ugliest unpopular guy, just because he had a good heart (just watch the movie, can't buy me love). We all know the opposite is true.

How life would be different if there wasn't this thing called status quo, or if money was given us by the trees.

 

Your ire should be directed at the capitalists who are using the internet and media to psychologically prey on people, not women, who have historically been victims.

your mindset needs an update.

 

No, historically men would go hunting, and women do the socializing. That's why they know the way to climb social ladder

We are different. The sum is bigger than the parts. The aim should be the team

 

Oh boy, how did this become a 4chan thread?

 

Maybe in the next life you can be born as a woman who wants nothing to do with men, or maybe as one of their cats.