FOOT PAIN? SHOULD I KEEP MY APPOINTMENT WITH THE PODIATRIST?

[Lala]

Hi Lala,

Being angry about things that are good in your life really rang a bell for me. I have a great family, a job I love very much, beautiful place to live ... and sometimes I wish it would all go away. I feel ungrateful thinking this, so mostly I don't. Or maybe it's not as perfect as I make out. I get confused sometimes between the two processes of allowing and acknowledging negative emotions, and trying to focus on thoughts that make me feel good. Perhaps I skip over the acknowledging bit a little too much.

yes, we must acknowledge these feelings...they are just feelings after all and as long as we don't act on them...they are not hurting anyone (but ourselves if we are repressing them)...this is what my therapist told me today.

My biggest fantasy is of me alone in a white hotel suite with nothing but room service, my kindle, and great movies on a big screen tv and a massage therapist who visits me twice a day (and maybe a private yoga instructor). I think wanting to escape from it all is universal for anyone who leads a busy life...society makes us feel guilty for secretly wanting this b/c we are supposed to always feel such gratitude for our blessings.

I think I am not only dealing with repressed anger and resentment, but then I deal with the feelings of shame and guilt, which I also repress...vicious cycle, no?

 

[tarala]

Yes, I tell people all the time that acknowledging feelings is okay, even if acting them out is not (I am a psychologist, those who can't do, teach, just kidding). Seriously though, I think being a therapist feeds into my unwillingness to own certain negative emotions, like I "should" be past that, if I'm suggesting it to other people.

I not only share your fantasy, I do it. I am long past the two year old child stage (all kids grown), and only work part time, so a busy life is no excuse for me. Travel is my passion, and while it is still true that I love exploring other cultures, at this point it is more about getting away all by myself, remembering who I am, putting me first. I take my Kindle to India and have two hours of massage daily (I have sciatica). And it works ... while I am there. Pain goes away, I'm relaxed, etc. When I get home it usually starts up again. Pretty classic TMS case. This year was a record for me, I was away five out of the twelve months. Do I feel guilty about it? Not too much. Am I cured? Nope. I am beginning to realize now that I can feel a bit better for a while by removing the triggers, but my reactions are still there, lying in wait for me. The time away still feels pretty valuable, it's just not curing me of TMS.