Flaring up real bad!

[Karen]

WOW, Karen, WOW. Please, please, please (even if you can only do it for me) take at least 30 seconds and give Karen a HUGE hug from me - CONGRATULATE her for how much she has been through and how well she has handled it. I can't even being to imagine everything you have been through and the fact that you are NOT in a wheelchair is nothing short of amazing to me. I cracked under far, far, far less.

I highly recommend keeping those little grandchildren around for entertainment as often as you can tolerate, but be careful it doesn't become "expected" (by their parents or by you). I spend some hours each week with a few little ones and they are always very good for laughter. Not to mention, they have fabulous imaginations so they can be very helpful for improving your imagery skills if you try to follow along with what they're "seeing". The added bonus is that if they are pre-school age they are also extremely helpful for "personifying" your inner child. It's kind of eye-opening for an adult that hasn't been around a young child for many years to come face to face with one throwing a tantrum and realize "hey, that's exactly what my sub-conscious is doing inside me right now (for the same illogical reason too!)".

I know you will find all the support and encouragement you desire on this site, it really is a wonderful group of people. I couldn't have made it without them, that's for sure. Do your best to be kind to Karen, and when you can't - just put a post on the forum that says so and you'll get lots of help with it!
Happy Healing!


Lianne - was there anything in your lessons from Nancy that had to do with broken appliances that were fixable by the hubby? You have me on high alert now wondering what sort of "event" is about to "clog up" my life!! Yesterday in the middle of washing a few small doormats, the washer just stopped working. Turns out the backing on one of the carpets had disintegrated and had clogged up some part before the drain. Fortunately my husband was able to fix it and it's now working fine, although I did get a very stern warning about "so much as thinking about putting small carpets in the washing machine ever again".

And I thank you so much Leslie because you have opened my eyes to where I want some of my priorities to be from now on. I loved the metaphor of the 'child tantrum'!! Awesome thought!! You guys are wonderful. It's just good to feel hope today. I did 6 laps up and down my stairs today. I am trying to act like a 25 year old again. Trust me, it's much slower than a 25 year old...but maybe in a few months....

Hug for you tonight! Back to Steve's book for an hour......

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Karen, you are doing great work, I am in awe of your strength and resilience. And SO happy you found us :^)

Having just started reading my first book by Peter Levine, I'm thinking he might be the next author you could read after finishing Steve's book. His life-long work has been working with the victims of trauma - both emotional and physical - and you've had both. The trouble is, he's written so many books, I don't know which to recommend specifically - some are, I think, more scholarly, some are aimed at self-help.

I'm reading Freedom From Pain which was one of the few I could get on my Nook from my library - it's all about self-therapy, it's supposed to come with an audio CD of exercises.
His classic is Waking The Tiger, which I have not read but have seen recommended many times
Another is Healing Trauma which looks like it is for self-help.
I really want to read his newest book: In An Unspoken Voice (with a foreword by Dr. Gabor Mate, who is brilliant)
Anyway, check out the descriptions and reviews. He's a really good writer. Our friend MathewNJ recommends him highly.

Okay, my break is over, see you later everyone!

Jan
(checking in for the first time in days - up to my eyeballs in tax returns...)

 

[G.R.]

Karen,
I just want to encourage you. I have had bad sciatica pain on both legs. I was getting really depressed over it.
I primarily used Fred Amir's book and Dr. Brady's book. They really helped me. I started using a lot of visualization.
I imagined myself walking. I could hardly go to the supermarket without wanting to sit after being there for five minutes.
I am so thankful to say last night I went to the supermarket and did a fairly big shopping although I did have to sit at the end.

Right now I am so thankful I do not have any sciatica but am still dealing with some back pain when I get up from a chair.
So, please be encouraged.
G.R.

 

[Dear Lianne]

"When you've become a care giver for a family member in decline you're faced everyday with the fact that you're not immortal and all powerful." Bruce

"I wrote my own obituary." Karen

Hi TMS Colleagues:

While reading through the recent threads on this post two statements jumped out at me in particular. Not sure why, but these two statements leapt off of the page for some reason. Karen, when you wrote the obit for yourself, was that part of your journaling exercise? How did you feel about writing your own obituary and did it help you in any way? Was there any re-assessment about how you wish to live your life from this point forward? Were there any surprises for you by going through this process? I don't need you to go through all of the personal details (that's your personal business), but I wondered how the obit read and if you felt good about yourself when you finished writing? Or did you feel otherwise? It just jumped out at me so I thought I would ask you how it felt for you to do this exercise.

Bruce: I love this statement! I am a caregiver for a family member and one of the lessons I've learned is that we are not really in control, even though we try to convince ourselves that we are in control. I will say that ultimately we are powerful beings but not in the way that we imagine ourselves to be; we are each infused with an inner light that supersedes this material realm we call Earth. Finding that inner core is freedom but I don't think it can be accessed through the material realm.

 

[Dear Lianne]

Karen,

Talk about the physical realm, I forgot to ask you about the painting of your home. Congrats for finding someone to do this for you! What colors are you planning on painting your home?

 

[BruceMC]

Karen and Lianne: You both might want to check out what Dr Gabor Mate has to say about the perils of care giving to patients with dementia:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/media/dr-gabor-maté-how-stress-can-cause-disease.39/

They have to self-sooth to overcome the negative effects on their bodies and minds.

 

[Karen]

"I wrote my own obituary." Karen

While reading through the recent threads on this post two statements jumped out at me in particular. Not sure why, but these two statements leapt off of the page for some reason. Karen, when you wrote the obit for yourself, was that part of your journaling exercise? How did you feel about writing your own obituary and did it help you in any way? Was there any re-assessment about how you wish to live your life from this point forward? Were there any surprises for you by going through this process? I don't need you to go through all of the personal details (that's your personal business), but I wondered how the obit read and if you felt good about yourself when you finished writing? Or did you feel otherwise? It just jumped out at me so I thought I would ask you how it felt for you to do this exercise.

Dear Lianne,

I just wanted to validate this post and let you know as soon as I can get some time, I want to tell you about this. It's just that it's getting late for me right now and I am the slowest two finger typer in the world!! But I will share with you in the next few days because it was a very interesting thing to do.... to say goodbye to yourself..... But very healing to face your own morality. I'll be back!

Hug!

P.S. The painting went well and I loved it and I am so encouraged now to do the things I need to do to fix this ole' joint up again!! I'm ready!! thanks for asking!