Day 8 First Physical Sign of Progress!!

[happyliltrees]

I had my first breakthrough 2 days ago!! I heard about TMS a month & a half ago & up until this point I have been reading, going through the programs, and contemplating TMS topics but on Tuesday I felt major stuff clicking.

Three big things for me were:
1. Believing I have TMS (Before I was thinking this stuff makes sense but it might not be applicable to me bc I don't see a strong connection b/w the discomfort-which is pretty consistent for me, and my emotional state/stress levels which has varied drastically from day-day & year-year. I also hadn't felt any changes in discomfort up until that point)
2. The realization that I have repressed anger. I always prided myself in how rarely I got mad at anyone. No road rage, no yelling matches. I thought I just "wasn't an angry person" and was superior to people who had outbursts (despite feeling frustration towards myself). I saw those as immature people who couldn't control their emotions.
Now I'm thinking I might have been repressing my anger to the point it was difficult for me to access it. When I first heard concepts like 'perfectionism can be infuriating to the body' I didn't get that. Because I didn't feel anger. So I actually had to imagine myself (basically pretend) what it would feel like if I was P.O.'d at setting these high standards for myself. And I started feeling twinges of real anger, it was cool. Then I thought about past situations in life that normally outrage people. I thought about my dad. I made myself get angry at him. I'd not done that too often because I love & respect him & didn't think I was being a good daughter by harboring hate towards him.
The rest of the day my hips felt in alignment and my shoulder discomfort was much more dampened. I contribute this to processing that bit of anger.
3. Getting a better understanding of how unsavory emotions & thoughts are O.K. and part of being human. That it is healthy to accept and express these unlikeable parts of myself (the greedy, lazy, whiny, angry side) yet still LOVE & ACCEPT myself.

Since this breakthrough I have felt the discomfort come back but I am much more confident in the diagnosis & excited to dig up some more things to rage about haha.

 

[ssxl4000]

Hello and great job so far! Make sure you revisit your post if you have some down days or start feeling doubtful. The fact that you saw good progress is proof you can overcome your symptoms.

 

[Wheelchair]

Keep going, you're on the right track. I remember it was March of this year just before the pandemic hit my country that i learned about Dr Sarno, i was a guy who couldn't stand up for more than 5 mins with multiple disc raptures in my back, thought my life is just a mess now as i'm never gonna be normal like others which was wrong and here i'm now like 5 months after with a pain scale of 8/10 to around 3/10 now, i do play soccer these days and i have occasionall tingling on my right calf aswell as my fingers but things are going good, i'm doing great is i know this is just my mind trying desperately to keep me on the doubt but i care less now as reading gave me insights and now i don't care a shit about if the pain is there or not, if it's gonna take another 6 months i'm fine because overtime it has taught me something about myself which existed but never realized. Bdw what helped me from then is a simple thing, ignoring the pain or any sensation, i found this to be the greatest tool, any sensation is a distraction and if it cannot distract you it serves no purpse so just keep going, you're gonna heal one day. Don't look at the calendar and just do what you love to do, enjoy your life and if you do feel sensation just remind yourself that, for example sitting still hurts me but now when i do sit, i just remind myself that i'm fine, sitting does not hurt me and again here i'm from a person who couldn't sit for 1 min can now sit perfectly for hours with bearable pain which back then was nearly impossible. I hope i can post my full success story soon on this forum but i don't want to as i want to completely banish it. Ignore any sensation, once you reach to the point that any sensation does not bother you, your pain or any sensation servers no purpose and will eventually leave you. Good luck.