SebastianM
Well known member
Hi everyone,
I finished my 4th exercise right now.
At first a short summary of my pain of the past two years and my treatments:
My pain is, let's say, all in my body but the central parts are my reflux/sour stomach and my left shoulder. Other pain symptoms occur in achilles tendons, groins, fingers, ellbows, back, neck, head. I would describe the "other pain symptoms" as a form of fybromylgia because they are in my opinion caused by tension in my tendons and muscles. For me it is a horrible imagination to have fybromyalgia.
My shoulder pain comes from hard fitness workouts in the past which never healed up and the reflux is caused by stress and alcohol also in the past and also never healed up.
I went to nearly every specialist you can imagine without a result. So my family doctor suggested to go to psychotherapy (autumn 2015). This was the beginning of recognising how wrong I lived my life and how less I enjoyed it. So I learned much about my personality and very slowly step by step my eyes were opened and I changed many things I was doing and THINKING.
But there is/was one problem: the pain. The pain got sometimes better, sometimes worse. And always when it was on a high level I had a deep depression lasting for a few hours or a day. So I tried to find ways to calm me down and then I found Dr. Sarno's book about the mindbody (December 22th 2016).
NOW: I would like to give you a short summary of my state of mind and my physical state:
I tried to go swimming and doing light fitness workouts (maximum 30 minutes). The positive aspect is that the fear is less but not away. The negative one is that I feel pain. But the pain is not that much hard in my head. It's the same pain like before but I am able not to focus it. It's not causing panic attacks.
It feels like I can do everything and I know that in the worst case it hurts. I accept the pain but only because I am hopeful to overcome it. In the past I often had such periods where I was stronger than the pain because my hope was very strong.
I am afraid of getting a fall back. The fear is not strong yet but it is there, I feel it.
The SEProgram helps me to keep hopeful and think positive but what if the pain nevertheless goes away and I am not strong enough to stand it. This is a big problem in my mind. My psychologist has no suggestions for me. I can only help myself by reading things about TMS and doing the SEP.
Maybe I am to critical but I am a "doublechecker" and always need a "Plan B".
I would be grateful to hear from you... suggestions, questions to my personality (I could write a book about it since psychoanalysis
), your stories...
There's one point to add, which in my point of view is very important to understand many things in me: I lost my father when I was 20 years old (now I am 25, pain occured when I was 23). After his sudden death caused by car accident I unconsoiusly suppressed my sadness and tried to be pefect in job and sports (especially muscle gaining) and be good to my friends, mom and girlfriend. Let's say I was/am a mixture of people pleaser and perfectionist.
Thanks for reading.
Hope to hear (read) from you
.
Greetings from Germany
Sebastian
I finished my 4th exercise right now.
At first a short summary of my pain of the past two years and my treatments:
My pain is, let's say, all in my body but the central parts are my reflux/sour stomach and my left shoulder. Other pain symptoms occur in achilles tendons, groins, fingers, ellbows, back, neck, head. I would describe the "other pain symptoms" as a form of fybromylgia because they are in my opinion caused by tension in my tendons and muscles. For me it is a horrible imagination to have fybromyalgia.
My shoulder pain comes from hard fitness workouts in the past which never healed up and the reflux is caused by stress and alcohol also in the past and also never healed up.
I went to nearly every specialist you can imagine without a result. So my family doctor suggested to go to psychotherapy (autumn 2015). This was the beginning of recognising how wrong I lived my life and how less I enjoyed it. So I learned much about my personality and very slowly step by step my eyes were opened and I changed many things I was doing and THINKING.
But there is/was one problem: the pain. The pain got sometimes better, sometimes worse. And always when it was on a high level I had a deep depression lasting for a few hours or a day. So I tried to find ways to calm me down and then I found Dr. Sarno's book about the mindbody (December 22th 2016).
NOW: I would like to give you a short summary of my state of mind and my physical state:
I tried to go swimming and doing light fitness workouts (maximum 30 minutes). The positive aspect is that the fear is less but not away. The negative one is that I feel pain. But the pain is not that much hard in my head. It's the same pain like before but I am able not to focus it. It's not causing panic attacks.
It feels like I can do everything and I know that in the worst case it hurts. I accept the pain but only because I am hopeful to overcome it. In the past I often had such periods where I was stronger than the pain because my hope was very strong.
I am afraid of getting a fall back. The fear is not strong yet but it is there, I feel it.
The SEProgram helps me to keep hopeful and think positive but what if the pain nevertheless goes away and I am not strong enough to stand it. This is a big problem in my mind. My psychologist has no suggestions for me. I can only help myself by reading things about TMS and doing the SEP.
Maybe I am to critical but I am a "doublechecker" and always need a "Plan B".
I would be grateful to hear from you... suggestions, questions to my personality (I could write a book about it since psychoanalysis
), your stories...There's one point to add, which in my point of view is very important to understand many things in me: I lost my father when I was 20 years old (now I am 25, pain occured when I was 23). After his sudden death caused by car accident I unconsoiusly suppressed my sadness and tried to be pefect in job and sports (especially muscle gaining) and be good to my friends, mom and girlfriend. Let's say I was/am a mixture of people pleaser and perfectionist.
Thanks for reading.
Hope to hear (read) from you
.Greetings from Germany
Sebastian
