Finished Day 40 of SEP

[Spindoc932]

What a difference 6 weeks can be....6 weeks ago, life was pretty grey..I was physically and mentally sick.....Besides obsessing over my back and hip pain(which has gone on for 5.5 years), I had a cloud of depression over me which is hard to describe.

On the outside, everything was great. Big house, great career, great wife, good support system...But deep inside, it was a different picture. I had issues with anxiety, issues with self image, issues with guilt and shame....I also dealt with some inner rage and the inability to show emotions like sadness and anger....Those feelings marinating inside me for decades actually......

But I didnt come to this forum or buy a Dr Sarno book for the emotional pain. I bought it for my back and hips..............Little did I know, the book Healing Back Pain and the SEP would not only heal my back, but it would heal my emotional state just as much................The journaling in the SEP has helped me more than anything I can remember. Each day i would journal for 20-25 minutes, without stopping. My pen would overflow with words, my hand would start to hurt from jotting down thoughts so quickly, and i didnt even care if it was legible because it felt so good to just LET IT OUT....The SEP really hit the nail on the head. The combination of current issues, past issues and personality trait issues was exactly what needed to be addressed......The more I cleaned out my attic of the supresed emotions, the better I felt physically and emotionally.......

I feel so blessed right now and my life has gotten drastically better. I am treating myself so much better and that means that im treating other people better as well. I am letting off a better energy. i am exercising and taking care of myself. I am putting myself first and not being lazy....I know that im not out the woods yet. I know physically, there will be flare ups and I need to be ready to implement some of the techniques I have learned. Emotionally and mentally, I know I still have alot of work to do. I can see and feel where I need to make even more improvements and I cherish the chance to address those issues

With the SEP ending, I think I will buy a nice new notebook and continue journaling daily. It will be a steady mix of deep deep down issues from childhood and current stressors that affect me. I hope to continue learning more about myself...I also plan on reading through a bunch of stories and articles on this site. i have yet to really comb through this site. I feel alot of things will "stick" better now that I have a good base of recovery already.....Thanks and good luck to all

 

[Mala]

You have come a long way spindoc & I'm so happy for u & yr success.

Journaling for some can be very powerful & healing & a v important tool in recovery.

All the best on yr continued success & don't forget to keep us posted & do let us know what techniques worked for u.

Mala

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Spindoc,

What a wonderful, heartfelt report. I hope Forest reads this, since he has put so much work into this site.

I love how you have really used the process to open doors in your life, to grow. It seems that in your evolution, this program, and your TMS symptoms have conspired to take you down a certain path that will continue to support you, and teach you. In short, I might call it "knowing and allowing myself to be."

I think deep down we have such a desire to be seen and felt in all our experience. To be known and understood, and contacted. We often look for this outside ourselves. Your work with a journal is a way to own this process yourself, which is the ultimate answer. We have always wanted to come home, intimately to our own experience. This quality of self-intimacy and understanding, attunement is very satisfying to feel.

I am very happy for you. Good luck in your journey.

Andy B