Feeling your feelings!

[Dee.1983]

So I've read that I have to actually feel my feelings but what if I feel nothing but my symptoms.
This morning I feel sad because my symptoms have started early and I'm exhausted by them and I've just had enough.
I've tried sitting quietly to feel where this sadness is in my body but I don't feel anything other than my symptoms - tightness in my jaw / face / neck / pressure in my head. At present its just sensations and no pain but it always progresses to pain by the afternoon.
So how do I learn to feel safe.
I think I've suppressed sadness for so long I have no idea what it feels like.
I'm so confused

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I see that you've started the SEP. Be sure to read the recommended introductory materials about how to get the most from the writing exercises when you get to them. You're going to need to become emotionally vulnerable and go deep in order to really progress beyond your shallow "sadness that you have symptoms". The true sadness doesn't come from symptoms - the symptoms are only there to distract from what's really hurting you.

A number of us address this in various ways in the following thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/struggling-to-connect-emotional-triggers-with-persistent-pain.29924/ (Day 8 - Struggling to Connect Emotional Triggers with Persistent Pain) Be sure and read the entire thread and all the responses, especially @Ellen's responses today.

Nicole Sachs is another great resource for emotional vulnerability. Go to her website and find the podcasts page. Scroll the episodes or use the search feature to find topics that speak to you.

 

[Dee.1983]

I see that you've started the SEP. Be sure to read the recommended introductory materials about how to get the most from the writing exercises when you get to them. You're going to need to become emotionally vulnerable and go deep in order to really progress beyond your shallow "sadness that you have symptoms". The true sadness doesn't come from symptoms - the symptoms are only there to distract from what's really hurting you.

A number of us address this in various ways in the following thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/struggling-to-connect-emotional-triggers-with-persistent-pain.29924/ (Day 8 - Struggling to Connect Emotional Triggers with Persistent Pain) Be sure and read the entire thread and all the responses, especially @Ellen's responses today.

Nicole Sachs is another great resource for emotional vulnerability. Go to her website and find the podcasts page. Scroll the episodes or use the search feature to find topics that speak to you.

Thanks for replying I have read everything suggested before starting including Alan's book. I have not read Nicole's book yet but I do listen to her podcasts for greater understanding and insight. I will read the tread suggested.
Again thank you

 

[Dee.1983]

I have now read the link and all the comments it's very helpful. I have a lot of work to do and I'm scared and excited for the journey but I'm worried as my memory of my childhood even my teenage years is very sparse so I'm concerned I may not find the hidden treasure I need to find and free these emotions

 

[feduccini]

I'm worried as my memory of my childhood even my teenage years is very sparse so I'm concerned I may not find the hidden treasure I need to find and free these emotions

Well, first I'd recommend not to look for the "hidden treasure". This makes a lot of people frustrated because even if they find significant traumas, the symptoms usually don't go away this quickly. The idea of "feeling the feelings" is to open space to anything that's repressed inside of you - and causing symptoms - so it will be free to finish its purpose and be released. The second thing is not to worry about your memory. Your body and your unconscious will remember, and they will find ways to release it. That's why the somatic practice is so important. Even so be advised one of the ways they go away is also through symptoms, so don't worry if they get worse from time to time.

 

[HealingMe]

Don't get hung up on trying to find that "hidden treasure". You need to teach your brain that you are safe to feel your feelings, right now, in the present. It's okay to go back to your childhood or an event. This is good exposure therapy to feel your feelings. But never get hung up on trying to find that one thing. Personally, I never found that one thing, and I don't think it exists.

 

[Diana-M]

Your body and your unconscious will remember, and they will find ways to release it.

I’ve been really intrigued to learn recently that the body is actually releasing the trauma that got stored inside it—sometimes through symptoms, sometimes through tremors, etc. This changes the idea of what TMS is. It might even be the “cure.”

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Well, first I'd recommend not to look for the "hidden treasure".

Don't get hung up on trying to find that "hidden treasure".

Instead, pay attention to the messages your brain is giving you as you're making your memory lists in the SEP (I forget which Day this starts).

This is the point in the SEP at which I realized that my brain was saying things like "Oh, don't write THAT down, it's a little embarrassing, and it's probably not important, so you should skip it" and similar excuses. If you sense that the thought of writing something down makes you the least bit uncomfortable, be sure to write that thing down. You might have to literally fight against your resistant brain to get it down on the paper! Remember that you don't have to keep anything after you've written about it. Burn it if needed!

Personally, I did not uncover anything earth-shattering about my childhood. It was just very typical childhood experiences and feelings that caused guilt or shame. As Nicole Sachs says, nobody escapes childhood unscathed. Facing these uncomfortable things and writing about them with self-compassion was very freeing, helping to inform me how I repress emotions and respond to relationships, and giving me permission to respond differently.

 

[Dee.1983]

Well, first I'd recommend not to look for the "hidden treasure". This makes a lot of people frustrated because even if they find significant traumas, the symptoms usually don't go away this quickly. The idea of "feeling the feelings" is to open space to anything that's repressed inside of you - and causing symptoms - so it will be free to finish its purpose and be released. The second thing is not to worry about your memory. Your body and your unconscious will remember, and they will find ways to release it. That's why the somatic practice is so important. Even so be advised one of the ways they go away is also through symptoms, so don't worry if they get worse from time to time.

Thank you feduccini

That's really helpful

 

[Dee.1983]

Don't get hung up on trying to find that "hidden treasure". You need to teach your brain that you are safe to feel your feelings, right now, in the present. It's okay to go back to your childhood or an event. This is good exposure therapy to feel your feelings. But never get hung up on trying to find that one thing. Personally, I never found that one thing, and I don't think it exists.

Thank you healing me

 

[Dee.1983]

Instead, pay attention to the messages your brain is giving you as you're making your memory lists in the SEP (I forget which Day this starts).

This is the point in the SEP at which I realized that my brain was saying things like "Oh, don't write THAT down, it's a little embarrassing, and it's probably not important, so you should skip it" and similar excuses. If you sense that the thought of writing something down makes you the least bit uncomfortable, be sure to write that thing down. You might have to literally fight against your resistant brain to get it down on the paper! Remember that you don't have to keep anything after you've written about it. Burn it if needed!

Personally, I did not uncover anything earth-shattering about my childhood. It was just very typical childhood experiences and feelings that caused guilt or shame. As Nicole Sachs says, nobody escapes childhood unscathed. Facing these uncomfortable things and writing about them with self-compassion was very freeing, helping to inform me how I repress emotions and respond to relationships, and giving me permission to respond differently.

Thank you JanAtheCPA very helpful