Day 12 Feeling very dispondent

[sickofpain]

Feeling bit down today. Don't feel like I am getting anywhere. Pain was awful last night and I was up pacing the house on several occasions. Still journaling and doing the homework but just not having any ah ha moments, or think i do and nothing changes. Find it so hard to think psychologically when in so much pain. It does the job well of getting all of my attention. I don't know what I am repressing. Keep telling myself I am getting there, but just not feeling it today.

 

[Tennis Tom]

... Don't feel like I am getting anywhere.
... I was up pacing the house on several occasions.
...Still journaling and doing the homework but just not having any ah ha moments, or think i do and nothing changes.
...I don't know what I am repressing.
...Keep telling myself I am getting there,

I just read a nice page from Monte Hueftle's book "GET RID OF THAT PAIN IN YOUR BUTT NOW!", that applies nicely to your post--I'll make a thread about it later. In it he talks about exactly what you are doing, ruminating on the past and the future and trying to come up with the black-bullet event in the past that precipitated ALL OF THIS! He's talking about that NOW thing--being in the NOW.

Recovery is not like a concentration camp with a sign above the gate that proclaims : "WORK WILL SET YOU FREE"--it didn't and it won't!--Changing your thought patterns will. We are always repressing, that's why it's called repressing--we aren't aware we are doing it. The TMS "homework" is living your life and doing what makes you feel good about what it is you are doing--substituting positive molecules of emotion throughout your mindbody-bodymind rather then the emotional molecules of fight-flight-stuck-frozen. It's not about "getting there"--you are THERE--it's your emotional molecules that aren't cooperating--do something that gives you pleasure.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, sick of pain. I hope you will tell your mind to knock it off when you can't sleep, and that you will think about worrisome things in the morning. I find it very helpful to do some deep breathing in bed... Inhale through the nose to the count of 4, hold the breath for 7, and exhale through the mouth to 8. Repeat 4 times. If that doesn't do it, follow by counting backwards from 100 to 1, and maybe do it twice or three times. Try to keep your mind a blank. I think most people's minds are blank all the time. Haha.