Feeling Stuck / Knee

[Em82]

I've been working with a mindbody syndrome focused therapist for a few years now to address chronic pain in my arms and my right knee. I also have read The Way Out numerous times. Most concerning in the last two years is my knee - I'm young, live in a big city, generally healthy but often feel disabled. I tore my ACL in this knee 14 years ago, contributing to much of the fear around re-injury. I've made the connection with my therapist that the knee pain is often acute when I'm going through a difficult time. However I often feel I am one foot in the camp of TMS, the other foot in believing there's something actually wrong with my knee and I need to stay off of it.

Part of what is holding my back is excessive swelling in this knee, feelings of instability and as of a couple days ago a very loud pop when I was performing mild exercises at home. It is hard to believe often there is not a physical injury.

But I'm done living this way. I'm scared to do most of my favorite activities: walking around my city, being in nature, hiking, seeing live music and generally being able to socialize standing for long periods of time. I don't want my life and world to be so small and I want to stop the fear around inactivity. The immobility is detrimental to my mood/spirit, likely feeding the pain/fear cycle.

Further tips on accepting the TMS and reducing fear are welcome. I'm eager to see how joining the forum after knowing of it after a few years may help my recovery.

 

[HealingMe]

Welcome! You’re in the right place!

It’s great you’re working with a mindbody therapist. Do you feel you’ve made progress with them?

You say you often feel you are one foot in thinking it is physical and one foot in TMS. Maybe it’s time to strengthen your belief in TMS. What’s there to lose? There are many great resources here. Have you read any Sarno books?

Frequently recommended is the Structured Educational Program if you haven’t tried it yet. Many folks have great progress. Alan Gordon donated a free program and I found it very helpful.

You may want to give an Evidence Sheet a try. This helped me strengthen my belief in TMS.
Also try talking to your brain that there is nothing wrong with you. Sarno said to give it hell! “I’m going to go for a walk in nature and I don’t care what you scream at me. Bring it on. I can handle it. I’m done letting fear control me.”

Be patient. It’ll take a little bit of time and effort but you’ll get there. It’s like a snowball effect.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi, Em!
That’s good you’re getting fed up. It will lead you to freedom! This forum can help so much.

However I often feel I am one foot in the camp of TMS, the other foot in believing there's something actually wrong with my knee and I need to stay off of it.

This is your biggest problem. You can’t be in both camps. It’s like pouring gasoline on the TMS fire. It knows it’s got you. You need to work on believing you have TMS.

TMS can cause popping sounds. Sarno talks about it. It can also cause swelling and instability.

Here are some knee success stories. https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Knee_Injuries (Knee Injuries) Success stories always help!

@HealingMe has good advice. Make an evidence sheet. And definitely read a book by John Sarno. Here’s a good thread on evidence sheets. https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/the-benefit-of-an-evidence-sheet.2292/ (The benefit of an evidence sheet)