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Day 2 Feeling more hopeful but need sleep advice!

N

Nightowl

Peer Supporter
I have spent the day reading this forum, reading books about TMS, and watching videos, and I feel much more convinced that my vulvodynia and urinary frequency are TMS. My evidence is:

--It started during a period of extreme stress with no other precipitating factors.

--At the time, my mother had the *exact same symptoms* and was talking about them constantly and that's when I started having the symptoms.

--When I have been very distracted, the pain is less.

--When I am in a stressful situation, like when my husband and I were working on taxes, the pain gets MUCH worse.

--In general, I go from ailment to ailment with only brief breaks in between. I have had neck pain, back pain, wrist pain, reflux, IBS flares. I've also had weird foot pain. I had tingling in one foot for weeks after wearing a sock that was too tight, which now seems a little unlikely, but resulted in a sock phobia.

I'm excited to do the daily assignments and try to get to the bottom of all this.

Even my symptoms feel a little better at the moment. I mean, I still feel like I have to pee when I don't, but the burning has gotten a lot better. There was a baclofen suppository prescribed by my urogyn that I think makes the burning worse but he said it would be the only way to loosen my tight pelvic floor, but I decided not to take it because if it's TMS, I shouldn't need a medication to treat it.

My huge challenge is the anxiety surrounding my pain, which has been messing with my sleep. If anyone has any tips for ridding yourself of sleep anxiety while dealing with this, I would love to hear!

And thank you to everyone who has responded to my posts so far. This is such a welcoming and supportive community, and I'm so grateful that I'm not doing this alone.
 
Nightowl said:
I have spent the day reading this forum, reading books about TMS, and watching videos, and I feel much more convinced that my vulvodynia and urinary frequency are TMS. My evidence is:

--It started during a period of extreme stress with no other precipitating factors.

--At the time, my mother had the *exact same symptoms* and was talking about them constantly and that's when I started having the symptoms.

--When I have been very distracted, the pain is less.

--When I am in a stressful situation, like when my husband and I were working on taxes, the pain gets MUCH worse.

--In general, I go from ailment to ailment with only brief breaks in between. I have had neck pain, back pain, wrist pain, reflux, IBS flares. I've also had weird foot pain. I had tingling in one foot for weeks after wearing a sock that was too tight, which now seems a little unlikely, but resulted in a sock phobia.

I'm excited to do the daily assignments and try to get to the bottom of all this.

Even my symptoms feel a little better at the moment. I mean, I still feel like I have to pee when I don't, but the burning has gotten a lot better. There was a baclofen suppository prescribed by my urogyn that I think makes the burning worse but he said it would be the only way to loosen my tight pelvic floor, but I decided not to take it because if it's TMS, I shouldn't need a medication to treat it.

My huge challenge is the anxiety surrounding my pain, which has been messing with my sleep. If anyone has any tips for ridding yourself of sleep anxiety while dealing with this, I would love to hear!

And thank you to everyone who has responded to my posts so far. This is such a welcoming and supportive community, and I'm so grateful that I'm not doing this alone.
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I breathe a certain way. I focus only on my breath. When my thoughts wander, I return to my breath. A deep belly breath in and a slow, longer one out. It slows the heart and relaxes me. After less than 20 minutes, I become drowsy. I sleep alone now so it’s easier. It may take you a bit longer.
 
Mtnjac said:
I breathe a certain way. I focus only on my breath. When my thoughts wander, I return to my breath. A deep belly breath in and a slow, longer one out. It slows the heart and relaxes me. After less than 20 minutes, I become drowsy. I sleep alone now so it’s easier. It may take you a bit longer.
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I do this for about five minutes. Maybe I need to force myself to do it for longer!
 
I'm also one that focuses on my breath and it has made a huge difference in helping me fall asleep; I don't even really change how I breathe, just focus on it and the rhythm. Sometimes I'll do a little body awareness while I'm doing it as well, I guess what they call somatic tracking by just landing on an uncomfortable spot and just kind of sitting with it. Weirdly it zonks me out.
 
You have a great evidence list! I struggle with sleep too. Find a guided meditation or visualization and close your eyes and follow along. (Try Youtube for free ones..) That helps me a lot. I keep the bedroom very cold and dark to help me further fall asleep. But the biggest help for me was to exercise! I started slow and just went on walks. I'm now up to 2.5 miles and I do try to go everyday but weather will hinder that. Exercise has really gotten my body in a rhythm to being tired around 10 each night.
 
Joulegirl said:
But the biggest help for me was to exercise!
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The connection between exercise and well-being is irrefutable. I know it's essential for my mental and physical health, and the consequences of slacking off are noticeable. It's also a form of meditation for those of us who are resistant to extended meditation.

For sleeplessness, I am also a big proponent of a few minutes of mindful breathing. It's surprisingly effective to use those few minutes to visualize sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed. Once you understand and practice it, you can totally do it on your own. It's really great for those middle-of-the-night awakenings.

The key for many people is convincing your brain that it's safe to go to sleep instead of remaining awake and on guard!
 
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JanAtheCPA said:
For sleeplessness, I am also a big proponent of a few minutes of mindful breathing. It's surprisingly effective to use those few minutes to visualize sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed. Once you understand and practice it, you can totally do it on your own. It's really great for those middle-of-the-night awakenings.
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Oh wow! I'll have to try this.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
The connection between exercise and well-being is irrefutable. I know it's essential for my mental and physical health, and the consequences of slacking off are noticeable. It's also a form of meditation for those of us who are resistant to extended meditation.

For sleeplessness, I am also a big proponent of a few minutes of mindful breathing. It's surprisingly effective to use those few minutes to visualize sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed. Once you understand and practice it, you can totally do it on your own. It's really great for those middle-of-the-night awakenings.

The key for many people is convincing your brain that it's safe to go to sleep instead of remaining awake and on guard!
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Yes, I think this all started because it was the middle of winter and I just wasn’t moving around enough. I try to walk 2 hours per day now.

Sometimes deep breathing helps me a lot, other times not as much. Last night I tried sleep stories on the Calm app and that seemed to help.
 
HealingMe said:
What if you stopped caring if you get sleep or not? Anytime I've tried to go to sleep at a certain time because I needed to get a restful sleep otherwise I'd look/feel awful in the morning, I ended up actually not sleeping very much. It's when I stop caring so much if I get to sleep or get X hours of sleep is when I fell asleep.

You may find this thread helpful: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)
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That's a very helpful thread, thanks. I really do try not to care, but it can be hard to get yourself in that mindset.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
Nope!

This is a "Yes, But..." statement! Try to avoid these. This is a common and sneaky TMS brain trick! It seems so harmless, but in fact it is insidiously self-defeating!
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You're very right. Do you have any advice to get yourself not to care about sleep or pain? it's so hard! :(
 
Nightowl said:
Do you have any advice to get yourself not to care about sleep or pain? it's so hard!
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"It's so hard" is just another example of self-defeating inner dialogue. And it is actually what you need to focus on. Lying awake and worrying about being awake is just another symptom which is a result of the fact that your brain is full of negative and fearful self-talk.

Imagine a cage full of squirrels. That's your brain on TMS.

My advice would be the same that you already received from @HealingMe:
HealingMe said:
What if you stopped caring if you get sleep or not? Anytime I've tried to go to sleep at a certain time because I needed to get a restful sleep otherwise I'd look/feel awful in the morning, I ended up actually not sleeping very much. It's when I stop caring so much if I get to sleep or get X hours of sleep is when I fell asleep.
Click to expand...
 
Nightowl said:
he said it would be the only way to loosen my tight pelvic floor
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Well, that is 100% nonsense. There are so many ways to loosen your pelvic floor! Mainly relaxation but also PT which when done in a caring manner (I needed this after my first childbirth) also helps you feel respected, etc.
I'm not saying to do PT -- I understand about this being TMS and so you likely wouldn't want to -- but just to validate your choice not to accept a doctor who says "X IS THE ONLY WAY."
 
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