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Feeling emotions

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by music321, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    As an American male, showing "negative" emotion is frowned upon. As a teen cashier in fact, I was told that unless I started smiling I would lose my job. As I've been doing the structured program (first week), I've been releasing pent up anger. I live with my parents, and they dislike any display of "negative" emotion. At best, I'm told how unacceptable my moods are. I'm worried that when I start working again, if I train myself to feel and open myself to emotion, I might cry, become angry, etc. and lose the job. Any advice? thanks.
     
  2. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Yes, the social expectation on men to keep their feelings to themselves sucks.

    For TMS healing, fortunately, the only one who needs to know about your feelings is you. You're fine hiding them from the disapproval of others, as long as you don't hide them from yourself.

    Since your parents are a negative influence, you will have to do your SEP away from their attempts to undermine. Nothing generates anger more than being told that your feelings are unacceptable.

    You will also have feelings at a job, but you can learn to acknowledge them to yourself without necessarily showing them to others.

    What kind of work do you do? Some professions are more comfortable with feelings than others.
     
    Ellen and Gigalos like this.
  3. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    I've cried at work many times and have never lost my job. It's ok to be human. In fact, once I started to TMS approach and regularly felt my feelings I stopped crying at work because my tension levels lowered. Just think.. you have so much unconscious anger, guilt, shame, etc.. that you need to feel that your body is automatically crying. That's a mind/body sign that you have some feelings to get out. It won't make you cry more it will make you cry less once you get it out.
     
  4. music321

    music321 Peer Supporter

    It seems that by forcing a change in facial expression, I am denying my feelings to a certain part of my brain. When I force a smile, negative emotions get pushed into the background. As for the type of work, I've been out of the work force for a long time, and don't know what I'll go back to.
     
    Ines likes this.

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