Feeling discouraged...pain is getting worse

[ashljunk]

I am on week 3 or the Structured Educational Program. My story can be found here. My pain is getting worse, and it's gotten to the point where I can't take care of my kids. Cooking dinner feels impossible sometimes...changing diapers and chasing toddlers too. I know I'm supposed to do my normal activities and just "observe" the pain. I am asking myself "what is this pain trying to tell me?" But honestly, the pain is so bad, I can't think about anything else. How do you continue to do your normal activities when the pain is so bad? How do you NOT tense up and "expect" the pain? I try, but the pain still comes. I'm so worried that this program is not going to work for me. Thank you for any insight you can give me.

 

[BloodMoon]

Rather than trying to analyse the pain or make yourself relax, try bringing your attention back to your breathing. You don't need to make the pain go away or convince yourself that everything is fine. Just pause for a moment and notice your breath — the feeling of the air coming in, and then going out. Let your breathing be as natural as possible.

When you notice yourself tensing in anticipation of the pain, you can gently acknowledge it: “There’s the fear and anticipation again.” Then bring your attention back to your breathing and to what is actually happening in this moment, rather than what you fear might happen with the next movement.

You might even make the goal much smaller. Instead of thinking, “I have to cook dinner while ignoring this pain,” think, “For the next minute, I’m going to breathe and stay present while I do this one thing.” Then another minute.

And importantly, I wouldn't interpret the increase in pain as proof that the programme isn't working. Recovery isn't usually a straight line, and sometimes increased attention to symptoms can temporarily make everything feel louder. Try not to turn the pain level into another test of whether you're getting better.

You don't have to successfully stop the pain, stop tensing, or stop being afraid before you can make progress. The practice is noticing what's happening, breathing, and gently returning your attention to life rather than continually monitoring the pain.

And please be kind to yourself. Taking care of toddlers while dealing with severe pain is genuinely hard. You don't have to prove anything by pushing through beyond what is reasonable.