Fredric
New Member
Hip pain has been very distracting lately. It was just a spot the size of my finger tip on the left side for months. It would annoy me when I lie down to sleep. Otherwise I wasn't bothered, and I wouldn't hold back from lying on it because it is tms.
Hip pain was one of the first tms symptoms in childhood, starting at age 16 and 17. Foot pain started at 13. The hip pain would come suddenly when I would be alone in the hallway at school. The pain was distressing, but I would continue to walk on it and not tell anyone, as I didn't tell anyone about the foot pain. I would only think about the pain when it happened. Maybe it helped that there was no one to talk to in the sense that the pain would go away. I was usually very frightened while at school , and times that I was alone and walking the hallways and not being intimidated were a blessed break. At this point of my life I felt trapped in my parents' home and in the town they live in, felt controlled and watched over, and struggled to be hopeful for a better life. I also spent large parts of the afternoon after school obsessing about my skin's appearance.
That the hip pain wouldn't go away started to be an obsession in the last few weeks. I also have been obsessing about my appearance , including the skin. The physicophobia started in strongly, but I haven't held back from walking or exercising. The spot of pain increased in size, but I had the intuitive sense that this is better. However, the physicophobia has intensified, even though I know that the bone scan, CT , etc show no structural problem, only normal wear and tear.
I'm feeling alone with this struggle and frustrated and fed up with it. I'm feeling ashamed of not having a normal life and want to hide at home. But these are very old feelings that also remind me of being trapped in my parents house.
I dread exercising and journal writing today.
Hip pain was one of the first tms symptoms in childhood, starting at age 16 and 17. Foot pain started at 13. The hip pain would come suddenly when I would be alone in the hallway at school. The pain was distressing, but I would continue to walk on it and not tell anyone, as I didn't tell anyone about the foot pain. I would only think about the pain when it happened. Maybe it helped that there was no one to talk to in the sense that the pain would go away. I was usually very frightened while at school , and times that I was alone and walking the hallways and not being intimidated were a blessed break. At this point of my life I felt trapped in my parents' home and in the town they live in, felt controlled and watched over, and struggled to be hopeful for a better life. I also spent large parts of the afternoon after school obsessing about my skin's appearance.
That the hip pain wouldn't go away started to be an obsession in the last few weeks. I also have been obsessing about my appearance , including the skin. The physicophobia started in strongly, but I haven't held back from walking or exercising. The spot of pain increased in size, but I had the intuitive sense that this is better. However, the physicophobia has intensified, even though I know that the bone scan, CT , etc show no structural problem, only normal wear and tear.
I'm feeling alone with this struggle and frustrated and fed up with it. I'm feeling ashamed of not having a normal life and want to hide at home. But these are very old feelings that also remind me of being trapped in my parents house.
I dread exercising and journal writing today.