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Fear.... the Hunter & Getting through the Crunchy Bits

Michael Reinvented

Michael Reinvented

Peer Supporter
Hi Folks,

I am hopeful that some good TMS soul out ther can relate to this, and offer some inspiration that this will lead to better days.

Overall, I am certain that the Psychological benefits of this Forum have underpinned my determination to get through.

Lightening Bolt recently.... whilst journaling on life events, it occurred to me with great clarity that in order to heal I MUST undersatnd my relationship to FEAR.

The history is there and undeniable: fear of pain from childhood surgeries, fear of abusive father, fear of failure as a teen, fear of failure as a self employed business person, (in spite of consistent success), fear of losing parents, fear of disability, fear of genetic dementia, FEAR OF PAIN, bloody hell what a fraidy cat... then again a pretty standard people pleasing western character?

Currently, I seem to be experiencing a daily ratcheting upwards of symptoms, with little respite. Tried a 300m run recently (last week) ... hurt during (NEW different parts of both feet) then heaps after.. the ole TMS Monster is fighting to survive. Is it time to run 3000m and send the subconscious a serious message?
 
It is time to run 3000m when you are ready. It all depends on where you are at.

As for the fear, this is something that most people go through. For me, I had a lot of fear of hurting myself permanently. This really led me to avoid doing a lot of physical activities. This fear started going away when I began reading success stories. Gaining confidence in the approach and accepting the diagnosis was a major catalyst for me in terms of overcoming fear of my symptoms.

But as you mentioned fear can be prevalent in other parts of our lives. Exploring your fear will help you discover more about the reasons you developed TMS. I do think that it is more important to understand why you have fear than overcoming all of your fears. A lot of times our fears and anxiety are us TMSing. Understanding why we do this, will help you recover and move forward. It sounds like you already identified several key issues to address, which is a very big step. Remember a lot of people with TMS can't even recognize when they have this fear or strong emotions like this. The fact you were able to pinpoint some of your fears is a good sign that you are on the right track.
 
I'm right there with you, Michael - when I started listing my fears during the Ed Program, I was a little appalled at the length of the list! And I added some new ones recently (but took off a couple of old ones) so it's not like they're gone. Fear and anxiety - had them all my life, but my relationship with them is quite different now. Now I recognize my anxiety as a symptom of TMS. I acknowledge my fears (half the battle as Forest says) and, on the advice of the brilliant Claire Weekes*, I accept them, float through them, and let time pass. You will, too.

Jan

* Dr. Claire Weekes, Hope & Help for Your Nerves (the book that helped me the most after Sarno - excellent for anxiety)
 
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