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Fear and TMS

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Rainbowdash, Nov 7, 2017.

  1. Rainbowdash

    Rainbowdash Peer Supporter

    I feel that I have a lot of fear buried inside me. It is not the fear of the pain, but fear in general like "Something terrible will happen". I've been uncovering a lot of feelings and this is one that I can't get to the bottom of. I did have a lot of fearful experiences in my life, so I sort of understand where the fear comes from.

    My question is, how do we process this emotion and clear it? I just feel it as a tightness in my chest.
    Bodhigirl likes this.
  2. Saffron

    Saffron Peer Supporter

    Interesting question. Following. X
    Rainbowdash likes this.
  3. Click#7

    Click#7 Well known member

    Rainbowdash likes this.
  4. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    The Power of Now helped me. But, easier said than done.
  5. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is your primitive brain at work, trying to protect you, and keep you alive. Your primitive brain is wired to believe that if you're constantly on the alert for danger, you will survive, and survival is the only thing it cares about.

    I had to overcome this in order to achieve most of my recovery. You've already succeeded where others still struggle - you have heard the unnecessary negative messages. Now you need to fight back and replace the negativity with something positive, constructive, and powerful, so you can take back the power and get on with your life.

    Some of my counter-messages are along the lines of "Hey, this isn't necessary! I'm totally safe, there isn't any actual danger, I'm not being threatened, so this is not needed!"

    Have you read Claire Weekes, Hope & Help For Your Nerves? It's a fabulous little book and resource for learning to get past anxiety.
    MWsunin12, Ines, Time2be and 4 others like this.
  6. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Perfect timing for me t9 see your post, Jan. Just got home from three hours in the dentist chair and knew I needed t9 get grounded as the Novocain wears off. I am afraid. Afraid of pain. Yet... There is NO reason for this to hurt! Sore, maybe, but no nerve pain. Back in the Dark Ages before recovery all sorts of things set off pain. Eventually they would settle down but the fear certainly triggered a response that created unnecessary suffering.
    I am going to read my reminders... and trust I can go out to dinner tonight with my husband who really wants to go out. I can feel the pressure to be Just Fine and I want that to be true. I’m tired from three hours in the dental chair but it’s OVER. It’s my first crown replacement which is good news. I have lived long enough to need this. And no root canal necessary which is what I feared most. I can shake it off and step up to the next thing the day presents.
    I will download Hope & Help for your Nerves and read a bit!
    JanAtheCPA, Time2be and Rainbowdash like this.
  7. Rainbowdash

    Rainbowdash Peer Supporter

    I read power of now long time ago. It was a good read, but it hasn't really helped me. May be I should read it a second time.
  8. Rainbowdash

    Rainbowdash Peer Supporter

    Thanks Jan. I read about hypervigilance yesterday and I think that's exactly what I'm suffering from. I'm telling myself constantly that I'm an adult. I'm safe. I'm healthy. Nothing is wrong with me. I can handle it.

    I guess having a name for that fear is helping. I will look up the book you suggested.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  9. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I second Jan's recommendation. You may enjoy these threads from the forum; one is a summary of Dr. Weekes work and the other contains links to free audio files:

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/lessons-from-claire-weekes.3873/ (Lessons From Claire Weekes)

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/claire-weekes-audio.2569/ (Claire Weekes Audio)

    And this is a link to the Claire Weekes wiki page:

    http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Overcome_Anxiety_with_Dr._Claire_Weekes (Overcome Anxiety with Dr. Claire Weekes)

    Plum x
    Lily Rose and Rainbowdash like this.
  10. Saffron

    Saffron Peer Supporter

    I couldn't get through the repetition
  11. Saffron

    Saffron Peer Supporter

    I used to get my clients to get her book.
  12. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    OMG, Bg, I used to be the WORST dental patient! My dentist would have to stop drilling, because the tiniest little twinge would have me begging for another shot of the anesthetic. This was a waste of time and I was a nervous wreck. Thanks to everything I learned doing this work, I can get through a procedure now without having to stop.
    There you go! My parents always told us we would outlive our teeth if we didn't take care of them (our Aunt Helen had dentures before she was 50). At this point I've had many crowns but only one root canal, and it was a piece of cake even though I'd been dreading and fearing it for years, thanks to my mother's description of root canals decades ago. Times have changed, thankfully!
    Bodhigirl and Time2be like this.
  13. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    Oh, dental work, I was very afraid of it. But then since about 15 years I can manage. I just think that it is the dentist who is doing the work, not me. I can relax and if it hurts I tell him and it is her/his duty to make it as painfree as possible. That somehow helps me ..
    JanAtheCPA and Bodhigirl like this.
  14. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    For me, uncertainty - much of life - is unknown and unknowable... and understanding that my brain tracks to a negativity bias (expecting the worst) does not exactly process it to make it pass but rather we open our hearts to the fear as we could to a scared child. Then, our softened and compassionate heart holds the fear. We don’t have to fight anything. We just have to practice being with our emotions. I am at a place where I can disarm the fear by agreeing with it. E.g., “something terrible will happen” ...well, yes, terrible things happen every day to people. Is something terrible happening now? No? Great! What’s next? If we think we can master it - clear it - we will be disappointed.
    That expectation of an arrival, a cure, is delightful if it occurs but these neural pathways we have are easily heated up!

    The feelings never stop, sometimes they are a nice breeze and sometimes a hurricane. Judging them as bad and good can get us in a whole lot of trouble.

    Hope that helps. Maybe you could think of fear as a bubble and your awareness of it and it’s predilection toward pain and hurting is something one can POP with mindful kindness.

    Hang in there. It does get better!
  15. Click#7

    Click#7 Well known member

    OMG almost forgot about my 1st dental experience...no novocain. I was really young and the dentist was a monster. My mother almost kicked his behind when I came out crying. Years later I remember having pain in my teeth and a new compassionate dentist couldn't find the source of the pain after exams and x-rays. It eventually went away on it's own. Wow that explains my history of TMS....thanks Bodhigirl !!!
  16. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Me, too is so healing. We remember together. We recover together.

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