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Fatigue and pain since mother's sudden death

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by mimetic_polyalloy, Jun 7, 2021.

  1. Hi all, would just like to introduce myself and tell my story. To start, I have talked to several doctors about my issues. I'm a healthy, 31-year-old male. I've gone to allergists, internists, psychiatrists, read books on fatigue, etc. My blood work is always normal and the advice is always the same - exercise more, get more sleep, try these supplements, etc. One doctor tried to prescribe me anti-depressants during our first appointment after I told him about my fatigue. I was pretty shocked as he barely knew anything about me.

    A friend recently recommended Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" to me, which is what led me to research the mind/body connection. I then came across "This Might Hurt" and began to read Dr. Schubiner's work. I enrolled in Dr. Schubiner's online course last night and I'm really excited to work through it. Coincidentally, Dr. Schubiner is based right near where I grew up and I even recognized one of his course participants in "This Might Hurt".

    To briefly sum up my story: my mother passed away very suddenly about 10 years ago shortly after I turned 19. We were extremely close and her death was devastating to me. Four years ago, I lost my father under very similar circumstances. We were also very close but I was in a different place in my life and better able to handle his death from an emotional perspective.

    Shortly after my mom's death, I developed a lot of anxiety around my own health. I began to feel low-level aches/pains all around my body and constant fatigue. I was convinced that there must've been something physically wrong with me. I was constantly thinking that I must have had a disease that caused these issues. Many possibilities crossed my mind: cancer, HIV, various infections, allergies, gluten intolerance, etc. I remember researching fibromyalgia and CFS around this time too.

    I started going to therapy on and off after my mom's death. I fully committed to weekly talk therapy about five years after she died. I found it extremely helpful from an emotional perspective. I am much better able to discuss my feelings and my experience with grief. I also opened up about the anxiety around my health.

    I no longer worry about the pain and fatigue; I've just learned to live with them. I still experience daytime fatigue nearly every day. I fall asleep almost right away while trying to read or watch a movie. It interferes with my work as I am tired almost always. It feels like I need to take a nap all the time. I feel low-level pain and stiffness in my limbs, joints, hands, face, and teeth pretty much every day. I am not worried about these symptoms being a part of some serious disease like I used to but they still consume my energy and interfere with my life. Prior to reading van der Kolk's book and learning about TMS, I thought that this was just how my body was and the best I could do is learn to live with it.

    I believe that my symptoms are caused by TMS and I am looking forward to working through Dr. Schubiner's course! I plan to track my progress here. Best to all.
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2021
    miffybunny, BloodMoon and Ellen like this.
  2. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Welcome to the forum! You are in the right place. Fibromyalgia and CFS are TMS, no doubts about it, and you fit the description quite well. This forum has a lot of information, you may find that most of your questions have already been answered over the years, so lean on the search feature as much as you can. Be patient, read, listen, ask questions! Best of luck to you!
    BloodMoon likes this.

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