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Day 21 Extended Self Care day

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Hedger, Dec 13, 2020.

  1. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    I took a week of self-care once I reached day 21. Not that I lost any faith in the process, I was just emotionally exhausted and needed a break.

    During this week I have still practiced Somatic Tracking, self-comfort etc. But no journaling. Just trying to be better in my mind during these days.

    I have been running twice with amazing finish-times. Something has happened to my glutes, quads etc. that release much more potential. They are not cramped up in the same way. And I have no pain after my runs even though I max out.

    Pain has been back to about 50-60% some days, and 0% some days.

    I have cried at least every other day. I just feel like I´m much more in touch with myself, and that I have much more stored up that need to get out. Or I´m just more emotional than I thought. But I don't see that as a weakness at all anymore, more like its beautiful to be able to feel all these things. I´m proud of myself regarding this progress.

    Hoping to process some anger again now when I get back into the Structured program.

    Mental success: I can find my self standing up to my inner bully now without trying sometimes, it just happens. Not all the time, but sometimes. I can also see myself standing up to other persons in my memories and fantasy by default sometimes. It feels empowering! My hope is that this will transition even more the coming months and happen by default all the time.

    I have new energy to continue now!
    Balsa11, JanAtheCPA and ssxl4000 like this.
  2. ssxl4000

    ssxl4000 Well known member

    Awesome post!

    I used to be very "emotionally stable" pre-treatment, or so I thought. Now, I get angry, upset, happy, excited more easily, and I show it more. However, I also am very aware of exactly why I feel those things, so I can get myself grounded again. I did not like it at first, feeling like I can't control my emotions, but I am getting used to it. And it really is better than the alternative: never showing feelings while everything in my body hurts!

    Keep up the good work!
  3. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    I agree completely, well written.

    Thanks for the encouragement!

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