LittleWildflower
New Member
Hello, I’m new to the forum and just trying to figure things out for myself. I have a question about non-pain symptoms.
Although I have experienced back pain at the beginning of all this (apparently scoliosis), and TMJ/headaches, I would confidently say that I rarely get physical pain anymore. I would say I have quite a high pain threshold so whenever I did get pain I’d ignore it and just get on with me life. I found it boring rather than a distraction. So I believe it explains why my body has given up with that and has resorted to trying to floor me with other non-pain symptoms such as breathlessness, feeling very faint, extreme fatigue, dizziness, SVT (heart palpitations), tremors, muscles weakness, chest pain, eye/vision problems and anything that resembles a heart attack. These, of course, have a far stronger hold on me, terrify me, and despite seeing a cardiologist, lung specialist, gynaecologist and endocrinologist there appears to be nothing particularly wrong with me.
I conclude I may have TMS. Or at least I’m VERY stressed out.
I even said to myself the other day I’m quite invested in being bed ridden with this. I feel SAFER when I’m not moving, not living, hiding, numbing myself from the fear, but it’s ultimately making me feel worse. I anm so depressed and anxious now because of it. Every day is a nightmare atm. I feel like it’s ruined my life. Taken away all my joy and hope. I’m terrified to breathe let alone live!
And as soon as one symptom gets ruled out, another appears. It looks VERY suspect. But because it’s my heart… and because I see my local surgery/hospital missing cases and people dying through medical negligence, I am finding it really hard to release my fear over this. When your heart starts thumping at 180bpm out of nowhere and you’re home alone with a 2yo- that’s scary. When you suddenly cant catch a breath and you feel yourself getting hot and dizzy when driving with your kids in the back on the motorway- that’s not ok. If I pass out… I know Sarno says it’s can’t hurt you but what if I DO faint and bang my head? What if these symptoms progress so much I DO have a heart attack? This is possible right? Or will my body relent at the point of hurting me? Is it trying to scare me more then destroy me?
After my MRI, my heart revealed minor scarring which ‘might’ be causing my SVT but they can’t be sure. They aren’t worried at all. But they’ve offered me a cardiac ablation which I’m not happy about. I don’t know why. I think I’m more scared it won’t help and I don’t like the idea of permanently scarring my heart to see if it stops it. Plus it’s insanely expensive. So I’m researching other causes for it right now hence why I’m here. I’ve also found out I am potentially iron deficient, my bloods are a bit odd… my ferritin levels are normal but apparently I’m also starved of oxygen and low on iron. I’ve been treated for the iron deficiency recently with an infusion but of course my symptoms continue to persist and frankly… embarrass me. I feel absolutely pathetic. I think I’m dying and everyone’s looking at me as if I’m mad. I feel so so so so so guilty if it’s TMS. Because people don’t mind if you’re sick with a bad heart or broken leg right? If you’re collapsing because you feel a bit stressed out that’s going to ruffle a lot of feathers. I’m such a hard working person, I try so hard to be strong and get stuck in and fight through hard days, so to think I’m being taken out by emotions is beyond humbling.
Stress, anxiety, panic attacks, a nervous breakdown, nerves, clearly very worried, the worrying type, psychological causes have all been mentioned to me time and time and time again. For some reason I can’t get on well with any of the antidepressants, sedatives or beta blockers they’re given me. My body is just rejecting everything except isolation and stillness…. Which is a huge red flag right? I should have found some relief?
So I think I am a perfect candidate for TMS.
I have a history of alcoholic parents, a painful childhood, im a victim of sexual abuse, I was bullied, etc. I am currently going through an extremely stressful time atm although I can confidently say life is definitely in a better place than it was 20 years ago so I can’t complain. Except now my body is doing this to me.
Is this possible? Is this TMS? How do I fight through the fear of dying? Pain is one thing, but I’m really scared I’m going to drop dead from this. Someone told me to just battle on and not care if I do… like push myself to the point where I faint to see if I actually faint.
Although I have experienced back pain at the beginning of all this (apparently scoliosis), and TMJ/headaches, I would confidently say that I rarely get physical pain anymore. I would say I have quite a high pain threshold so whenever I did get pain I’d ignore it and just get on with me life. I found it boring rather than a distraction. So I believe it explains why my body has given up with that and has resorted to trying to floor me with other non-pain symptoms such as breathlessness, feeling very faint, extreme fatigue, dizziness, SVT (heart palpitations), tremors, muscles weakness, chest pain, eye/vision problems and anything that resembles a heart attack. These, of course, have a far stronger hold on me, terrify me, and despite seeing a cardiologist, lung specialist, gynaecologist and endocrinologist there appears to be nothing particularly wrong with me.
I conclude I may have TMS. Or at least I’m VERY stressed out.
I even said to myself the other day I’m quite invested in being bed ridden with this. I feel SAFER when I’m not moving, not living, hiding, numbing myself from the fear, but it’s ultimately making me feel worse. I anm so depressed and anxious now because of it. Every day is a nightmare atm. I feel like it’s ruined my life. Taken away all my joy and hope. I’m terrified to breathe let alone live!
And as soon as one symptom gets ruled out, another appears. It looks VERY suspect. But because it’s my heart… and because I see my local surgery/hospital missing cases and people dying through medical negligence, I am finding it really hard to release my fear over this. When your heart starts thumping at 180bpm out of nowhere and you’re home alone with a 2yo- that’s scary. When you suddenly cant catch a breath and you feel yourself getting hot and dizzy when driving with your kids in the back on the motorway- that’s not ok. If I pass out… I know Sarno says it’s can’t hurt you but what if I DO faint and bang my head? What if these symptoms progress so much I DO have a heart attack? This is possible right? Or will my body relent at the point of hurting me? Is it trying to scare me more then destroy me?
After my MRI, my heart revealed minor scarring which ‘might’ be causing my SVT but they can’t be sure. They aren’t worried at all. But they’ve offered me a cardiac ablation which I’m not happy about. I don’t know why. I think I’m more scared it won’t help and I don’t like the idea of permanently scarring my heart to see if it stops it. Plus it’s insanely expensive. So I’m researching other causes for it right now hence why I’m here. I’ve also found out I am potentially iron deficient, my bloods are a bit odd… my ferritin levels are normal but apparently I’m also starved of oxygen and low on iron. I’ve been treated for the iron deficiency recently with an infusion but of course my symptoms continue to persist and frankly… embarrass me. I feel absolutely pathetic. I think I’m dying and everyone’s looking at me as if I’m mad. I feel so so so so so guilty if it’s TMS. Because people don’t mind if you’re sick with a bad heart or broken leg right? If you’re collapsing because you feel a bit stressed out that’s going to ruffle a lot of feathers. I’m such a hard working person, I try so hard to be strong and get stuck in and fight through hard days, so to think I’m being taken out by emotions is beyond humbling.
Stress, anxiety, panic attacks, a nervous breakdown, nerves, clearly very worried, the worrying type, psychological causes have all been mentioned to me time and time and time again. For some reason I can’t get on well with any of the antidepressants, sedatives or beta blockers they’re given me. My body is just rejecting everything except isolation and stillness…. Which is a huge red flag right? I should have found some relief?
So I think I am a perfect candidate for TMS.
I have a history of alcoholic parents, a painful childhood, im a victim of sexual abuse, I was bullied, etc. I am currently going through an extremely stressful time atm although I can confidently say life is definitely in a better place than it was 20 years ago so I can’t complain. Except now my body is doing this to me.
Is this possible? Is this TMS? How do I fight through the fear of dying? Pain is one thing, but I’m really scared I’m going to drop dead from this. Someone told me to just battle on and not care if I do… like push myself to the point where I faint to see if I actually faint.
