Even when I know it's tms I am consumed with fear

hi everyone I am new and this is my first post! My problem is helplessness and anxiety related to potential health problems and catastrophically thinking about normal or minor body issues. It's a chicken and egg dilemma- is this tms generated or is the core problem a phobia that my body will betray me? I try to locate the root cause and maybe I had some minor childhood health issues which made me unable to be productive and made me feel inferior. Maybe it was traumatic because I couldn't control them. Currently i can't see the calm truth in the eye of the storm.
Eye floaters and blurry vision will become blindness, purple toes due to tms generated lack of circulation mean there is danger and I need to do something! It's always one silly symptom after another but when I'm under the spell of it I am panicky. In retrospect my fear of feeling inadequate when I didn't have enough sleep started in middle school because I was the non-brilliant child. Sleep continues to run my life and I've accepted that I need more then most. The core belief is that my body isn't to be trusted and I need to prevent danger. I generally have no reason to be fearful and doctors tell me I'm the healthiest person around. I almost cured severe ocular migraines (not totally) once I found tms but now I have one symptom after another and I get that it's anxiety or phobia. I am deep into my spiritual journey, I am a believer in all sorts of meditative solutions and I know I am safe and there's nothing to fear. Yet in the moment I'm down the rabbit hole. Any thoughts? Do I do hypnosis for health phobia?

 

I think this could start with a behavioural change. When we change our behaviours our emotions catch up. So you could think about paying less attention to all these minor symptoms, knowing that you are healthy, relax as best you can and wait for time to pass. The 'normal healthy' reaction to these minor symptoms would be more casual and not fearful. The more you practice this approach the stronger and more confident you will become about your health. Perhaps allow yourself only ten minutes a day to think about any health concerns and then switch your focus to other areas of your life.

 

Thanks for responding! I realize the abnormal nature of my response to my body and that's the nature of my question. I can tell myself to limit worry time to ten minutes a day and sometimes that can work. It's a journey and I guess it's me looking for the quick fix. Tell an alcoholic to stop thinking about alcohol except for ten minutes a day and generally they will think about it three times as much. It's an art form to stop caring about what scares you ....awareness and ifs therapy have been very helpful. (Family systems therapy is awesome. I have a TMS part in my brain and I need to communicate with it as if it were a person) . The spiritual journey, the work of Eckert tolle and a course in miracles and many other teachings have been very helpful. My wonder is am I dealing with TMS or phobia when I get kidnaped by the fear demon? Idk!

 

Well I know that a lot of people on here with tms have experienced health anxiety. I was one of them and the method I used above was how I got out of it. It was not easy at all but I was determined. After I had conquered that anxiety I ended up with another tms equivalent, back pain, but I wasn't aware of tms at the time and so the pain became chronic. I have since recovered from all of that. Have you read and of the Dr Claire Weekes books? The one that helped me the most with fear was Peace from Nervous Suffering. She is well revered on here.

 

Don't over-think this! TMS theory is VERY simple! The pain is benign, but as excruciating as anything real and more so. The best advice I can give you is READ the books--all the answers are in them. You don't have to go on a spiritual journey to get it, you can be an atheist, an agnostic or believe in leprechauns--you just have to read the books, to change and transform your mind on pain, and what constitutes mindbody-bodymind health using Dr. Sarno's KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN.

 

Boy can I relate with you on this. I too have just started this journey, and while my brain understands all of this information on TMS and the whole mind body stuff, that panic/anxiety just wants to stay around. My problem is not just back pain, but the endless barrage of other symptoms that go along with TMS......... headaches, stomach issues, severe allergy development (sinusitis, etc.), asthma (to the point I now use a daily inhaler....... and of course worry that I have more serious issues like COPD, etc.) You name it, I have it. It's been one endless trip to this Dr. and that Dr., this test and that test. Of course my x-rays and MRI's have shown the "usual" wear and tear, and that I have mild stenosis in my neck/disc bulge in the back and all that good stuff to scare me straight into the endless pain cycle. All the other tests, for my other issues??? Well of course - nothing shows as being wrong. I'm sent on my way to wonder if the Dr. missed something? Am I really truly nuts? It just goes on and on. I know that my brain is trying to trick me and distract me from what is really going on, but it is so hard to dig deep inside and go, "ok, what is it I'm trying to repress here"? There are so many things, like my childhood to the everyday stresses of my job. Hard to just pick one thing I guess. Anyway, I get it............... but now I've developed horrible ringing in my one ear, and a feeling of fullness that of course makes me think - uh oh, now what! So of course I had the Dr. check it out yesterday, and he said that I do have an infection, and off I go with my little prescription for antibiotics. Last night the pain in my ears, headache, and the ringing was so bad that I thought I was going to lose my mind. I sat back and thought to myself, how amazing it is that now that I have been told this is an infection, my brain just sends my body into such a reaction to this, that it's making me feel even sicker!! Awesome!! Needless to say, I'm finding it hard to focus on Sarno's words of wisdom right now when my body feels like it is yet again failing me, and I'm just doomed to a life of feeling like garbage, or worrying that something more serious is going on. I apologize for going on a rant here, I guess I just needed to let this all out, and after reading your post, I just felt compelled to write. I'm glad that I'm not alone in this crazy messed up ride that my brain is taking me on, and I am determined to make myself healthy. I hope you know that you are not alone either. This is a great community here, and I'm glad it's a place where we can go and share our experiences!

 

I think we might be twins here in terms of health anxiety... I experience exactly the same thing... "what iffing" myself to death, constant pain, different or spreading pain and panic about what is "really" wrong even though I've been through tests, xrays, MRIs and drs galore... I was so sure if the physical issues could be ruled out, I would be able to relax but all the low back abnormalities and arthritis having been found has backfired on me, leaving me even more afraid....
I totally understand how you feel... I wish there was a way out, even with TMS knowledge, counseling.. Everything so far I've tried hasn't helped. This site feels like the one safe haven and a place to find hope... The saddest part of this whole syndrome is the sense of isolation, no one seems to understand what it's truly like unless they have or are experiencing it themselves...

 

It's so true how people on the outside don't understand. We hide it so well too though don't we? I'm thankful that my husband is understanding and patient, but I'm sure he even wonders sometimes, like when he comes home and I'm sitting at the computer sobbing because I'm searching yet again for the next cure. I really do have to stop doing this for god sake!! I think finding out about TMS is really going to be the answer though. We have to believe it right? I also need to remind myself to be patient with all this. Not something my personality is good at. It will get better, and I'm determined to not let the pain or these symptoms scare me anymore!!!

 

Dear Health-Phobic,

You've been given great advice above by @birdsetfree . I'll just add that you might want to consider changing your screen name. What we call ourselves is powerful. That label may hold you back. You can PM @Forest (the Forum admin) and request to change your name if you like.