Encouragement

[Lojos]

I need some encouragement please.
I have lower back pain and balance issues- spondylolisthesis 2 years and vertigo 1year.I definitely know and believeit is TMS.Both issues have improved a lot but just recently I have developed anxiety first thing in the morning.I am aware of Dr Claire Weeks as I suffered from this 25 years ago and was able to use her method for overcoming it.I live in a over 50’s resort and my neighbour who has the beginnings of dementia has just moved out.We were really good friends having both been in education.Unfortunately over the last 4 years she became reliant on me for her welfare and would come over every day and because I don’t like conflict I never set boundaries .This came to a head when I spent a week in hospital a year ago with vertigo and I had to tell her she was welcome to come over but not every day.At this time I had the occasional spell of anxiety in the morning.Once I am out and about I am feel slightly better.I have also had 3 falls with my dog because of balance problems.
I put into practice 1.Outcome Independence2.Conditioned Response.3and Claire Weeke’s methods.
I do have the typical TMS’ers personality although now I am 76 and widowed I have slowed down a lot.
It is the anxiety that I am having trouble with and I am aware this work has to come from myself.It is just so difficult.
Encouragement please?

 

[miffybunny]

Hi @Lojos,

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job at addressing all of these issues! Do you have a support system of friends and family that give you connection and a feeling of safety? What do you do to have fun or relax? Are you in any clubs or groups? Have you tried meditation or body scan type apps?

 

[Lojos]

Thanks miffybunny,

Yes I have family and friends -I was able to lean on them up until the time my neighbour left a month ago.When I was in hospital for a week with vertigo last May the doctor in charge asked if I was under stress and I told him the situation .He said that “is a hell of a responsibilty’At times I felt like I was being stalked.
I have always been able to cope -my late husband with severe heart problems who had to retire at 56 and in and out of hospital so many many times ,collapsing at the wheel of the car twice and having a heart attack while driving.Also I was looking after my Dad with his heart problems as well.
I have had cancer 3 times and come thru all the attendant treatment. I have had 3 falls lately all involving my dog.
I am doing Joey Remenyi’s course on vertigo.
It is only in the last 2months I have felt this anxiety and only when I first wake up.I go out for a meal or coffee most days
and take my dog out to the dog park where I can walk a little then rest on a bench seat.I don’t mind being by myself as I am an introvert but make sure I have some social interaction with friends or members of the resort here.
I do struggle with fatigue in my legs as where I live is hilly as is the township.I do get frustrated with having to rest so much.My hobbies are Paintbynumbers and Scrabble and crosswords.I have played sport at a high level being ranked 3rd junior in Tennis NZ and rep in other sports and been a physed teacher .
Sorry this is so long but I felt I needed to give the background.
So my main angst is the fact that anxiety has reared its ugly head -only for a short time in the morning- I haven’t told family or friends that this is bothering me because I feel nothing would be gained and I would be embarrassed.

 

[Lojos]

I have done body scanning and somatic tracking.I guess I just want to run from the fear if I am honest.

 

[miffybunny]

Definitely don't feel embarrassed! Anyone would have PTSD and anxiety from just one of the things you listed! My father is 83 and actually suffers from tinnitus. I just ordered Joey Remeny's book for him as well! The problem with my dad is he suffering from confusion and memory loss so he calls me about 25 times a day in a panic about the tinnitus. As much as I desperately want to help my father, this puts me in fight or flight as well. His anxiety becomes my anxiety. All of this to say, that anxiety is part of being human and you should give yourself tremendous credit for overcoming so much and persevering . While you may have fear, you have also displayed incredible courage . I wonder if you could give yourself a break and just ease into activities in a gradual way? Keep reminding yourself that it's just your brain and this is temporary. One way of reducing anxiety, is practicing acceptance and letting go of things you can't control. Another way is to give yourself permission to feel your feelings.

 

[Lojos]

Thank you so much for your wise words Joeys book is great she uses a lot of TMS work.
Yes I need to feel my feelings.I found my husband dead on the floor in the bathroom and even at the funeral I couldn’t cry and I feel guilty over that even tho it was a relief for him as he was ready. Mind you that was 4 and a half years ago.I do not mind living alone.
So it is normal to feel anxiety? I guess it’s how we cope with the anxiety.